You are right in that with me, Bon. I've even read comments on here about it in years before and just dismissed it as unimportant. However, before last Christmas (2010) my son got in the car one day and asked if santa was real. My younger son was in the car, also. I said "Of course. Why do you ask?" Well there were older (cool kids, i'm sure) at the daycare that day who told him that santa wasn't real. He said, "Are you sure, Mommy? Tell me the truth." Knowing that Jagger can't stand to be bested at anything, and that my younger son was silent and wide eyed waiting on my answer....Well, I had just told him santa was real.
I froze. Jag says, "Well, Mommy, is he real
?" I told him that I could not prove that santa was real and that those boys couldn't prove he wasn't. I told him that all that matters is that if you believe in him in your heart. I diverted to what is supposed to be the most important about Christmas anyway. And ended with, "I believe." I left it at that. I now regret my cop out.
After Christmas that year, my mom asked me where I had bought a certain present that the kids had. I answered without thinking. My boy was standing there and looked at me with a funny look in his eyes and said, "No, Mommy! Santa brought this. You didn't buy it."
Well, Christmas was over and out of sight, out of mind, right? Well this year after Christmas my sister asked me where I got a camo camping tent for the boys. Jagger was standing there and rushed to yell, "Mommy didn't get this! Santa did!" And he cut me a sideways glance that defied me to dispute this.
Jagger trusted me
over those cool kids. I have no doubt that he will get over it when he finds out the truth. But it is going to hurt him. And it is going to damage that trust he had in me.
It is literally breaking my heart. I wished that I could have done it differently.