Does anyone know about the Pearls?

[flo]

Originally Posted by rearnakedchoke

i got hit like a champ as a kid .... it's easy to spank a kid to show'em who is boss and put fear and consequences on them ... but it is the easy way to parent and a sign of impatience and non-discipline on the parents part ... anyone can hit a kid to scare and hurt them to show them what's right and wrong, but a real good parent who can communicate with their kid shouldn't have to beat their child

I'm sorry that happened to you, rnc.

[flo]

Originally Posted by NateR

I do not have children, but I used to be one and I can honestly say that spanking was extremely effective for me. It was so effective that I got spanked less and less as I got older. I never once felt that my parents enjoyed spanking me and I never felt physically abused or oppressed by them. I was made to understand exactly what behavior I was getting spanked for (lying, stealing, setting things on fire in the living room while my dad took a nap, etc.) and I learned to simply not do the things that got me a spanking. I deserved every single spanking I got as a child and I am thankful to my parents for administering that discipline to me at such a young age.

My experience was just like yours, Nate.

although I never set the living room on fire

Originally Posted by flo

although I never set the living room on fire

Neither did I, but one time a friend and I were spraying cans we found in the garage over a lighter to see what would happen. I don’t remember what the third can was, but it made a flame that flew across the yard and landed on a half empty gas can. My friend and I beat the crap out of the can and had just managed to put the fire out when I heard my Mom say “what was that noise?”

I blurted out “What fireball?”

[flo]

Originally Posted by Dethbob

Neither did I, but one time a friend and I were spraying cans we found in the garage over a lighter to see what would happen. I don’t remember what the third can was, but it made a flame that flew across the yard and landed on a half empty gas can. My friend and I beat the crap out of the can and had just managed to put the fire out when I heard my Mom say “what was that noise?”

I blurted out “What fireball?”

OMG!

My better half has some stories like yours and Nate's - must be a guy thing...

[Tyburn]

if I was naughty as a little one, I would get spanked when little...and when big enough to spank back...I got sent to my room and would not be allowed to have the meal with the others...instead I would be given to like bread and milk and I'd have to eat it in my room, and probably stay in my room for much of the evening...often until I had said sorry...which I was never quick to do...coz I never thought any of it was my fault.

Father did the spanking...Mother did the room incarceration.

By the time we were 15 years plus...Mother and Father would use other methods. They would cancel trips and treats, they would not allow my sisters to go out to parties etc...we were never grounded coz we never really went out much with such a large Garden

Course things changed quickly, coz during our teenage years Father commuted for Two years, only home at weekends, Mother would tell Father if there was trouble..and he was pissed he had to commute for two years (to wait for the appropriate educational gap) for us before we all moved from Lincoln.

Really late in my Teens, my Mother would slap me if I was really rude...that used to shut me up

[adamt]

well i am very familiar with the pearls, and while they are sometimes extreme with their viewpoints, they are far from abusive, and would never condone abuse.

i would warn everyone to be careful about jumping to conclusions based on a liberal journalists reporting. The fact that a liberal is so set against them is reason enough for me to doubt how terrible they are.

They are old fashioned, extremely conservative, and very unique, but they love children, God and are in no way shape or form monsters. I don't follow everything they recommend, but then again I don't really need a book to teach me how to parent to begin with.

I would add that you can take excerpts from many people;s books and turn them into "monsters". I've seen it done on sherdog and the comment section of mmajunkie, using matt and his book. And to be honest, the way the people put it, matt didn't look so well, and someone who didn't know matt would've been fooled, using his own book against him. Chucks book is the same way.

In fact the entire sport of mma could be used as a copout to blame fights, violence and even deaths on.....

To compare apples to apples though, I would find Dr. Benjamin Spocks highly regarded parenting books and techniques to be much more abusive. He advocates letting 4-6 month olds, "cry it out", and making a 4 month old cry herself to sleep, just because she doesn't really need anything and you want to watch tv instead of soothe her is way worse than swatting a 12 month old on the bottom with something other than your hand.

thats my two cents anyway

[Neezar]

Originally Posted by rearnakedchoke

i got hit like a champ as a kid .... it's easy to spank a kid to show'em who is boss and put fear and consequences on them ... but it is the easy way to parent and a sign of impatience and non-discipline on the parents part ... anyone can hit a kid to scare and hurt them to show them what's right and wrong, but a real good parent who can communicate with their kid shouldn't have to beat their child

I don't spank my kids to show'em who is boss or put fear in them. However, a spanking is a consequence sometimes used at my house. It is usually a last resort and used only when I have exhausted all other measures. Spanking has NEVER been the easy way for me. And I have no trouble communicating with my boys. They know ahead of time what would led to a spanking and have options to choose to avoid it.

[Neezar]

With that being said, my kids are very well behaved for a while after they get a spanking. I have jokingly said that maybe I should spank them every morning before school. Or at least every Monday.

Originally Posted by NateR

NO ONE should beat their child as a form of discipline. We're talking about spanking, which is a completely different topic.

Every child is different and sometimes inflicting pain is the only way to effectively communicate with certain children. It's not about power (although every parent does need to establish themselves as having authority over their children) and it's not about bullying.

I do not have children, but I used to be one and I can honestly say that spanking was extremely effective for me. It was so effective that I got spanked less and less as I got older. I never once felt that my parents enjoyed spanking me and I never felt physically abused or oppressed by them. I was made to understand exactly what behavior I was getting spanked for (lying, stealing, setting things on fire in the living room while my dad took a nap, etc.) and I learned to simply not do the things that got me a spanking. I deserved every single spanking I got as a child and I am thankful to my parents for administering that discipline to me at such a young age.

spanking is a nice term for beating ... makes it sound ok ... you even said you were hit with a belt or a switch ... that's hitting, spanking, beating, whatever you want to call it ... did getting beat as a kid mess me up for life? no, doesn't even bother me, did it make my or your parents bad parents? nope? i just think in most cases it is the easy way of getting a message across that what the kid did was wrong and most times can be avoided ...

Originally Posted by Neezar

I don't spank my kids to show'em who is boss or put fear in them. However, a spanking is a consequence sometimes used at my house. It is usually a last resort and used only when I have exhausted all other measures. Spanking has NEVER been the easy way for me. And I have no trouble communicating with my boys. They know ahead of time what would led to a spanking and have options to choose to avoid it.

well neezy, not all parents are as good as you .. i am willing to bet that most parents use it as a first resort rather than last ..