Joke Thread

[Bonnie]

Originally Posted by mikthehick

You know you are from Virginia/North Carolina when
1. 50 degrees is considered a 'bit chilly'
2. BBQ is made pulled and is the BEST BBQ ever made, no matter what those people from Texas say
3. You know what a pig pickin' is, you've been to a few in your life, AND you want to have one at your wedding.
4. You know that there are over 300 uses for peanuts and a corn field or a pasture full of cows is nothing new.
5. You can run to the Walmart to pick up something and run into people who have mullets from the 80s, as well as tourists who aren't sure just where they are.
6. You know all the backroads like the back of your hand, and you know 15 ways to get to the same destination (THIS IS MY SPECIALTY!!!)

I say, I say, that's blasphemy, woman, blashphemy!

I match the southern AND the midwestern one!

Originally Posted by Bonnie

I say, I say, that's blasphemy, woman, blashphemy!

oops, looks like ya made an error

[TexasRN]

Originally Posted by Bonnie

I say, I say, that's blasphemy, woman, blashphemy!

I haven't tried NC BBQ yet so I can't give an opinion on that. I guess I need to try it. But what if I like it? What if it *is* better?


~Amy

Originally Posted by TexasRN

I haven't tried NC BBQ yet so I can't give an opinion on that. I guess I need to try it. But what if I like it? What if it *is* better?


~Amy

It is ;) Trust me. Brisquet is good, but doesn't at all compare to NC BBQ. Amy, do you have a Smithfield's around where you live? They are a fast food place that specializes in BBq.

[MattHughesRocks]

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."

The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."


Yes folks, I'm going to be here all night!

[MattHughesRocks]

Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly.

The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him.

Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is.... fluctuation."

The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging asshole you are!"

[Bonnie]

Originally Posted by TexasRN

I haven't tried NC BBQ yet so I can't give an opinion on that. I guess I need to try it. But what if I like it? What if it *is* better?


~Amy

Well, if that should happen, I guess we'll be meeting somewhere other than Texas after your *WANTED* poster goes up in the post office. It's either that or a burka over your head.

[TexasRN]

Originally Posted by Bonnie

Well, if that should happen, I guess we'll be meeting somewhere other than Texas after your *WANTED* poster goes up in the post office. It's either that or a burka over your head.

Texas will still love me, I'm kind of awesome that way.


~Amy

[MattHughesRocks]

WHO IS JACK SCHITT

For some time many of us have wondered, just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt'!

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, who married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.

They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt', you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt