Joke Thread

[PRShrek]

"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

“Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”

“It tells me that someone has stolen our tent.”

[PRShrek]

“Knock knock”

“Who’s there?”

“Arianny”

“Arianny wh-!!*SMACK*!!”

“Arianny Celeste YOU CHEATING SON OF A ****!”

[Primadawn]

Why are redneck murders never solved?




All the DNA is the same and there are no dental records.

[flo]

Originally Posted by PRShrek

"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

“Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”

“It tells me that someone has stolen our tent.”

Originally Posted by Primadawn

Why are redneck murders never solved?


All the DNA is the same and there are no dental records.

[Buc Nasty]

Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, or is it just one of Granny's myths?
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A guy with a gun enters a bar.

"Who the had sex with my wife?" he snarled.

A voice was heard in the background, "You don't have enough bullets, mate!"

[VCURamFan]

Originally Posted by Buc Nasty

A guy with a gun enters a bar.

"Who the had sex with my wife?" he snarled.

A voice was heard in the background, "You don't have enough bullets, mate!"

[Buc Nasty]

I once dated a girl who owned a parrot, the bloody thing would never shut up.

The parrot was cool though.

--------------------------------

Hugh Hefner having sex without viagra must be like piercing a capri-sun with an earthworm.

[Buc Nasty]

I was furious when I found my wife's profile on an on-line dating website.

That lying bitch isn't 'fun to be around'.

[County Mike]

Originally Posted by Buc Nasty

I was furious when I found my wife's profile on an on-line dating website.

That lying bitch isn't 'fun to be around'.

Hahahahahha!

[Buc Nasty]

Making love to my wife is a bit like the state of English football. I rarely get to a semi.