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  #481  
Old 08-02-2011, 08:42 PM
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Originally Posted by BamaGrits84 View Post
This guy comes back from the toilet when a woman says to him "Hey you left your garage door open!" As the man zipped his fly up he says with a big grin on his face "Did you see my big hummer?" The woman repl;ied "No just a mini cooper with two flat tires."
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  #482  
Old 08-03-2011, 05:37 PM
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Originally Posted by BamaGrits84 View Post
This guy comes back from the toilet when a woman says to him "Hey you left your garage door open!" As the man zipped his fly up he says with a big grin on his face "Did you see my big hummer?" The woman repl;ied "No just a mini cooper with two flat tires."
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  #483  
Old 08-03-2011, 08:02 PM
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One morning, Little Johnny's dad catches him killing a honey bee. "No honey for you for a month!" he says.

Later that afternoon, his father catches Little Johnny pulling the wings off a butterfly, "No butter for you for a month!" his father yells.

That evening, as the family cleans up from dinner, Little Johnny's mother sees a cockroach and smashes it with her shoe. Little Johnny says, "Do you want to tell her,Dad, or shall I?".
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  #484  
Old 08-04-2011, 01:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Primadawn View Post
One morning, Little Johnny's dad catches him killing a honey bee. "No honey for you for a month!" he says.

Later that afternoon, his father catches Little Johnny pulling the wings off a butterfly, "No butter for you for a month!" his father yells.

That evening, as the family cleans up from dinner, Little Johnny's mother sees a cockroach and smashes it with her shoe. Little Johnny says, "Do you want to tell her,Dad, or shall I?".
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  #485  
Old 08-04-2011, 01:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Primadawn View Post
One morning, Little Johnny's dad catches him killing a honey bee. "No honey for you for a month!" he says.

Later that afternoon, his father catches Little Johnny pulling the wings off a butterfly, "No butter for you for a month!" his father yells.

That evening, as the family cleans up from dinner, Little Johnny's mother sees a cockroach and smashes it with her shoe. Little Johnny says, "Do you want to tell her,Dad, or shall I?".
took me a second but
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  #486  
Old 08-04-2011, 02:24 AM
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took me a second but
Me too!
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  #487  
Old 08-07-2011, 01:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Primadawn View Post
One morning, Little Johnny's dad catches him killing a honey bee. "No honey for you for a month!" he says.

Later that afternoon, his father catches Little Johnny pulling the wings off a butterfly, "No butter for you for a month!" his father yells.

That evening, as the family cleans up from dinner, Little Johnny's mother sees a cockroach and smashes it with her shoe. Little Johnny says, "Do you want to tell her,Dad, or shall I?".
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  #488  
Old 08-11-2011, 05:04 PM
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Barack Obama was at a dinner with the Queen of England.

He asked her, "Your majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing you can do is surround yourself with intelligent people."
Obama frowned and asked, "But how do I know if they're really intelligent?".
"Oh that's easy," she answered, "you just ask them an intelligent riddle."

Former PM Tony Blair happened to be at the same table, so she turned to him and said, "Tony, your parents have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?".
Without pausing for a moment, Tony replied, "Well it would be me." "Yes! Very good!" said the Queen.

Obama went back home and asked Joe Biden the same question. "Joe, your parents have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?".
"I'm not sure." said Biden."Let me get back to you on that." He went to his advisors and asked every one, but nobody knew. Finally one day, he ran into Sarah Palin. Biden asked, "Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your parents have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"That's easy!" she said,"it's me!" Biden smiled, thanked her, and ran to the oval office.
"Mr President, I've done a lot of research and I have an answer to your question! It's Sarah Palin!".
Obama got up, stomped over and screamed in Biden's face, "No you IDIOT! It's Tony Blair!"
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  #489  
Old 08-18-2011, 01:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Primadawn View Post
Barack Obama was at a dinner with the Queen of England.

He asked her, "Your majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing you can do is surround yourself with intelligent people."
Obama frowned and asked, "But how do I know if they're really intelligent?".
"Oh that's easy," she answered, "you just ask them an intelligent riddle."

Former PM Tony Blair happened to be at the same table, so she turned to him and said, "Tony, your parents have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?".
Without pausing for a moment, Tony replied, "Well it would be me." "Yes! Very good!" said the Queen.

Obama went back home and asked Joe Biden the same question. "Joe, your parents have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?".
"I'm not sure." said Biden."Let me get back to you on that." He went to his advisors and asked every one, but nobody knew. Finally one day, he ran into Sarah Palin. Biden asked, "Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your parents have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"That's easy!" she said,"it's me!" Biden smiled, thanked her, and ran to the oval office.
"Mr President, I've done a lot of research and I have an answer to your question! It's Sarah Palin!".
Obama got up, stomped over and screamed in Biden's face, "No you IDIOT! It's Tony Blair!"


this morning i was at breakfast and overhead two old men talking. i almost fell over when i heard what they said to each other.

Why do men name their you know what (no sure what i'm allowed to say)?
they don't want a stranger making their decisions.

Then the other guy says "at my house we don't name things we eat"
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  #490  
Old 08-18-2011, 05:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinsmama View Post


this morning i was at breakfast and overhead two old men talking. i almost fell over when i heard what they said to each other.

Why do men name their you know what (no sure what i'm allowed to say)?
they don't want a stranger making their decisions.

Then the other guy says "at my house we don't name things we eat"
Bwahahaha~!
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