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  #231  
Old 02-01-2010, 12:39 PM
Twinsmama
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EEEwwww!!!
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  #232  
Old 02-01-2010, 04:17 PM
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VCURamFan VCURamFan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mac View Post
THis man walks into a bar with his monkey and takes a seat.

While the man is drinking his beer , the monkey jumps up , runs over to the pool table where a game is in progress.

The monkey jumps up on the table , grabs the cue ball and swallows it down .

The bartender is fuming and hollers at the guy " Hey your monkey just ate the cue ball , get him out of here and dont come back until he has learned better"

about a week later here comes the guy and his Monkey , Fella sits down at the bar and starts drinking his beer.

The bartender is watching the monkey very close . About this time , the monkey runs down the bar , grabs a cherry out of this girls drink , sticks it up his butt and then pulls it back out and eats it.

Again , the bartender is fuming , he hollers at the man " Hey i thought i told you not to bring him back until he had learned better , he just stuck a cherry in his butt and then ate it "

They guy calmly looks at the bartender and says " He did learn better , After he had tp crap that cue ball he learned to gauge things first"
Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!
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  #233  
Old 02-02-2010, 10:31 AM
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Not a joke but thought it was funny A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment...





After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,


I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a snow shovel.

Mrs. Harrington



Sorry Mac I know one of them with money in his hand had to be you!!
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  #234  
Old 02-02-2010, 03:37 PM
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MattHughesRocks MattHughesRocks is offline
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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing.Youve already told her twice
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  #235  
Old 02-07-2010, 05:27 PM
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Why do sharks only swim in salt water?

























Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
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  #236  
Old 02-07-2010, 05:29 PM
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Why was the frog happy?



















Because he ate everything that bugged him.
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  #237  
Old 02-07-2010, 05:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattHughesRocks View Post
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing.Youve already told her twice
Bwahahahahaha! Funniest joke EVER! Did you make that up Michele?
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  #238  
Old 02-07-2010, 05:52 PM
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Mac pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed his friend where he'd first had sex.

"It was right down there by that tree. I remember the day plainly. It was a warm summer day. She and I were so much in love. We walked down to the tree and made love for hours," Mac recalled.

"That sounds wonderful," said his friend.

"Yes. It was okay until I looked up and noticed her mother was standing right there watching us."

"Oh my God! What did her mother say when she saw you making love to her daughter?"

"Baaaaa..."
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  #239  
Old 02-07-2010, 05:53 PM
Silverback
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Just wait till I get home mine will out do that one and your other joke,
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Why was the frog happy?



















Because he ate everything that bugged him.
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  #240  
Old 02-07-2010, 06:04 PM
Mac
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silverback View Post
Not a joke but thought it was funny A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment...





After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,


I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a snow shovel.

Mrs. Harrington



Sorry Mac I know one of them with money in his hand had to be you!!
HA HA HA ,

"Shake it fast , show me whatcha workin with"
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