Go Back   Matt-Hughes.com Official Forums > General Discussions > The Woodshed

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #181  
Old 11-20-2009, 03:52 PM
Bonnie Bonnie is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Where the bluebonnets bloom
Posts: 6,587
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by County Mike View Post
I don't think you'll find much to analyze.

If it's a boy: Dalton Michael
If it's a girl: Haley Jean

We should find out December 11th.
Haley Jean it is. I'm just teasing you Mike. Those are both good names.

You know little girls are really nice; my mom had five of them.

Although, she did tell us we better not have any girls 'cause she was sick of girls. So, my sister had a boy and my mom kept him when he was little. All she kept saying then was, "My God, he's so different than ya'll were!"

When I found out she was having a boy all I said was, "Boy! What are we going to do with a boy? We don't know nothing 'bout boys!" His birthday is tomorrow the 21st; he'll be nine. He was born on my anniversary.
__________________

Last edited by Bonnie; 11-20-2009 at 04:09 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #182  
Old 11-23-2009, 07:10 PM
Neezar's Avatar
Neezar Neezar is offline
SupaDupaMod
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: South
Posts: 6,478
Send a message via Yahoo to Neezar
Default

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I
saw was an old mini van with two flat tires..

Reply With Quote
  #183  
Old 11-23-2009, 07:14 PM
County Mike
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

LOL
Reply With Quote
  #184  
Old 11-24-2009, 11:27 PM
Bonnie Bonnie is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Where the bluebonnets bloom
Posts: 6,587
Default

One day a man comes home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were empty food boxes and wrappers all around. As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess. Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table, and a small pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing, and a lamp had been knocked over. He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife.

He was becoming worried that she may be ill, or that something had happened to her. He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what I did today?"

"Yes," was his reply.

She said, "Well, today I didn't do it!"

__________________
Reply With Quote
  #185  
Old 11-25-2009, 12:20 AM
Mac
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

a little Poem.


There once was a man from carass
Whos balls were made out of brass
when they clanked together
they played stormy weather
and lightning shot out of his ass.



There once was a woman from Nizas
who had boobs of two different sizes
one was small , it was nothing at all
But the other was large and won prizes.
Reply With Quote
  #186  
Old 11-25-2009, 04:38 AM
MattHughesRocks's Avatar
MattHughesRocks MattHughesRocks is offline
Stump Rules!
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 9,786
Default

Mac
__________________


http://stumpdotcom.com/
Reply With Quote
  #187  
Old 12-22-2009, 02:20 PM
Blade
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Did you hear the one about the Englishman with the inferiority complex?

He thought he was the same as everyone else.
Reply With Quote
  #188  
Old 12-22-2009, 02:37 PM
Neezar's Avatar
Neezar Neezar is offline
SupaDupaMod
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: South
Posts: 6,478
Send a message via Yahoo to Neezar
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blade View Post
Did you hear the one about the Englishman with the inferiority complex?

He thought he was the same as everyone else.
Reply With Quote
  #189  
Old 12-22-2009, 04:06 PM
Primadawn
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blade View Post
Did you hear the one about the Englishman with the inferiority complex?

He thought he was the same as everyone else.
BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I nearly spit soda all over my monitor!
Reply With Quote
  #190  
Old 12-22-2009, 04:13 PM
Primadawn
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All
the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm
smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the
questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches
would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:27 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.