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  #171  
Old 11-02-2009, 07:03 PM
Bonnie Bonnie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neezar View Post
That is the best joke ever.
What makes it so good is it's got so much truth in it (on both sides).
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  #172  
Old 11-03-2009, 02:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie View Post
What makes it so good is it's got so much truth in it (on both sides).
The best part.
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
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  #173  
Old 11-07-2009, 03:29 AM
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PSYCHOPATH TEST

Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads... No one I know has gotten it right. Few people do.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream guy so much that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?

[Give this some thought before you answer, see answer below]





















Answer:


She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again.
If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to determine if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you. If you got the answer correct, please let me know.
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  #174  
Old 11-07-2009, 03:40 AM
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I bet Nate gets it right!
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  #175  
Old 11-07-2009, 03:46 AM
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A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand.
The turtle's one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape.
The bartender looks at the guy and asks:
"What's wrong with your turtle?"

"Not a thing," the man responds, this beat up turtle is faster than your dog!"
"Not a chance!", replies the barkeep.

"Okay then, says the guy... you take your dog and let him stand at one end of the bar. Then go and stand at the other end of the room and call your dog. I'll bet you $500 that before your dog reaches you, my turtle will be there."
So the bartender, thinking it's an easy $500, agrees.
The bartender goes to the other side of the bar, and on the count of three calls his dog.

Suddenly the guy picks up his turtle and throws it across the room, narrowly missing the bartender, and smashing into the wall and says -
"I WIN... Told you it'll be there before your dog!"
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  #176  
Old 11-07-2009, 02:37 PM
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Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'


'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.

Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt ! !! !! !





'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!'

............ ............ ..............


Sounds to me like she's ....... !
......been ....sweeping around!!!
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  #177  
Old 11-19-2009, 05:39 PM
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MOM'S IN GROUP THERAPY


A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers
and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even
named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows
itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Janet quietly got up and took her little boy
by the hand, and whispered,

"Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick
up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner.
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  #178  
Old 11-19-2009, 05:46 PM
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Good one!
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  #179  
Old 11-19-2009, 09:26 PM
Bonnie Bonnie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattHughesRocks View Post
MOM'S IN GROUP THERAPY


A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers
and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even
named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows
itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Janet quietly got up and took her little boy
by the hand, and whispered,

"Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick
up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner.


You, know, I've never really thought about that--people's pyche aka "obsession" in naming their kids.

I can't wait to see what Mike comes up with.

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  #180  
Old 11-20-2009, 01:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie View Post


You, know, I've never really thought about that--people's pyche aka "obsession" in naming their kids.

I can't wait to see what Mike comes up with.

I don't think you'll find much to analyze.

If it's a boy: Dalton Michael
If it's a girl: Haley Jean

We should find out December 11th.
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