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Old 05-24-2011, 09:53 PM
KENTUCKYREDBONE
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Default Memo to Arnold and the media!

May 24, 2011 Memo to Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Media -- There Are No Illegitimate Kids, Just Illegitimate Parents
By Michael Reagan
5/24/2011 My adoptive parents told me I was "chosen," but the kids at school told me I was a "bastard."

The recent headlines about Arnold Schwarzenegger's infidelities and the son he fathered out of wedlock have stirred many old memories and emotions.

I was four years old when I learned I was adopted. It was just before my sister Maureen's eighth birthday. I told her, "I know what you're getting for your birthday."

"Don't spoil the secret," she said. "If you tell me, I'm going to tell you a secret!"

Well, that was the wrong thing to say! I had to know what she was keeping from me! I said, "You're getting a blue dress for your birthday."

Maureen said, "And you were adopted."

I ran off to find our mother, Jane Wyman, in the den. I asked her, "What does 'adopted' mean?"

Mom's eyes flashed dangerously. "Where did you hear that word?" she asked.

After Mom finished dealing with Maureen, she sat me down and explained adoption to me. "You are a chosen child," she said, "and that makes you special. We love you very much."

I could tell that being "chosen" was a good thing. But I also realized for the first time that Mom wasn't my "real" mother -- that I had another mother who had mysteriously given me away.

One day, when I was in the second grade, I got into a playground argument with another boy. We took turns one-upping each other. "I'm better than you," I said. "I'm special 'cause I was chosen! I was adopted!"

The other boy didn't know how to answer that, but the next day he came back to school and laughed at me. "My parents told me what 'adopted' means," he said. "You're not special -- you're a bastard! Your real mother wasn't married, so she gave you away -- bastard!"

That's when I realized there was something horribly wrong with me. I never again bragged about being "chosen," and I never again felt "special." But I did feel marked.

I wondered, "Why did my birth mother give me away? Was it because I'm a bastard?" I figured Mom couldn't have known I was illegitimate or she wouldn't have adopted me. And I didn't want her to find out!

When I returned home, I went to the library where Mom kept a huge leather-bound Bible. She'd once told me that the Bible had all the answers. I was seven years old and had never read the Bible on my own, so I turned to the back of the Bible to see if there was an index. Sure enough, I found the concordance.

I looked for the word "bastard" -- and there it was. The concordance directed me to Deuteronomy 23:2, where I read: "A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord."

My heart froze. I thought those words meant, "A bastard can never go to Heaven. A bastard is damned to Hell, and so are his kids and grandkids, down to the tenth generation."

I snapped the book shut -- and I didn't open a Bible again for more than 25 years. Of course, that verse had nothing to do with Heaven or Hell -- but how could a seven-year-old understand such things?

I thought, "That's why my birth mother got rid of me! Nobody wants a child who's going to Hell! And Mom's so religious! If she finds out I'm going to Hell, she won't want me anymore!" So, at age seven, I began to hate myself -- and God.

The story of my spiritual and emotional redemption is in my book "Twice Adopted." But the story I'm thinking about now is the painful story of Arnold Schwarzenegger's son.I keep hearing chattering heads on TV referring to the boy as Schwarzenegger's "illegitimate" son. It makes my blood boil. Listen, there's no such thing as an illegitimate child. There are only illegitimate parents.

And Arnold, I hope you read this: Your son is not the bastard. You're the bastard. You're the illegitimate parent.

I don't say that to insult you. I say it for your own good. I say it because you need to face these facts. You've been a bastard up till now, but you can change that. You can man up. You can sit down with your son, acknowledge him, apologize to him, admit that you failed him, promise to love him, and begin to protect him from ridicule.

That boy is going to need a lot of love and affirmation from his father. Why? Because the bastards in the media have gone after him, publishing horrible, humiliating stories, putting his picture on the Internet and subjecting him to ridicule at school.

Arnold, you've always played a hero in the movies. But now the whole world knows it was just an act. How would you like to be a real hero for a change?

It is time to stop being a bastard and start being a father.

Michael Reagan
Michael Reagan, the eldest son of Ronald Reagan, is heard daily by over 5 million listeners via his nationally syndicated talk radio program, “The Michael Reagan Show.”
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Old 05-25-2011, 05:19 PM
Primadawn
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Wow. Good for him for telling it like it is.

I think the parallel to his life as an adopted child is a little bit of a stretch, comparing it to the situation with Schwarzenegger, but I guess it's how he sees it.

Obviously not every adopted child came out of that same background-there are a variety of reasons people give up children for adoption.

However, the point that he makes about illegitimate parents is a good one. I think it's absolutely sickening that Arnold didn't let this become public until HE decided that his political career was at an end. To put children after everything else is disgusting.
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Old 05-25-2011, 05:32 PM
County Mike
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I think the kid will be OK. In today's world, having unmarried parents is pretty common. I don't think he'll feel like he's so different or his life sucks because his mom got pregnant outside her marriage. I think he'll fit in just fine - which begins the real problem with society today.

The kid will be ok BECAUSE society is so screwed up, that his situation is normal.
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Old 05-25-2011, 06:58 PM
rearnakedchoke
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Quote:
Originally Posted by County Mike View Post


I think the kid will be OK. In today's world, having unmarried parents is pretty common. I don't think he'll feel like he's so different or his life sucks because his mom got pregnant outside her marriage. I think he'll fit in just fine - which begins the real problem with society today.

The kid will be ok BECAUSE society is so screwed up, that his situation is normal.
so in a "normal" society, it would be ok for people to make fun of kids who come from broken homes???
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Old 05-25-2011, 07:40 PM
Miss Foxy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rearnakedchoke View Post
so in a "normal" society, it would be ok for people to make fun of kids who come from broken homes???
I don't think that's what Mike was implying. I think more so what he means is nowdays divorce/affairs are more public than the 50's or other generations. A bastard child is common.
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Old 05-25-2011, 07:44 PM
Bonnie Bonnie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by County Mike View Post


I think the kid will be OK. In today's world, having unmarried parents is pretty common. I don't think he'll feel like he's so different or his life sucks because his mom got pregnant outside her marriage. I think he'll fit in just fine - which begins the real problem with society today.

The kid will be ok BECAUSE society is so screwed up, that his situation is normal.
Well, I don't know how "ok" he is or will be--depends on what his mother told him about his "father". Did she perpetuate the lie to the child that his father was her ex or did she tell him before now who his father really is. Because a lot of our "identity", who we think we are--where we come from--is obviously tied in with our parents. This kind of stuff can really mess with a child's head. I saw one of her relatives on tv saying how none of the family knew Arnold was the father; they all thought her ex was the father because that's what she told them. The fact that his father is such a well-known figure, and also who he was married to, makes things that much more complicated for this child.

I feel for Maria so much; all the trust she had for him and their relationship, gone, down the toilet. To go through that as an adult is awful and hard enough, but for kids to have to go through it, I think, is even worse.

Trust is a precious gift that should be treasured.


Quote:
Originally Posted by rearnakedchoke View Post
so in a "normal" society, it would be ok for people to make fun of kids who come from broken homes???
The way I took it is because a lot of kids today are born outside of marriage and/or come from broken homes this child won't feel like his situation is that different than many other kids, whereas, in years past, being born "illegitimate" was a stigma/label for a child.




P.S.: I hope Arnold had his own paternity test done and didn't just rely on what she told him. Surely he did. I don't think the child really looks like him, but, of course, he doesn't have to to be his child.
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Last edited by Bonnie; 05-25-2011 at 07:54 PM.
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Old 05-25-2011, 08:22 PM
rearnakedchoke
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that's what i was kinda getting at .. by saying today's society is "screwed up", the kid won't get bothered for being a bastard is almost like saying yesterday's society which was "normal" condoned the fact the kid was called a bastard or illegitimate ...
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Old 05-26-2011, 12:31 AM
Bonnie Bonnie is offline
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I've never thought a child should be labeled "bastard" or "illegitimate". A child can't help how he came to be. Unfortunately, children are always the ones to pay the price for thoughtless self-gratifying adults.
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Last edited by Bonnie; 05-26-2011 at 02:06 AM.
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Old 05-26-2011, 11:14 AM
County Mike
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rearnakedchoke View Post
so in a "normal" society, it would be ok for people to make fun of kids who come from broken homes???
I didn't say it was OK for "bastards" to be picked on in the olden days. That doesn't mean it wouldn't have happened, like it did with the guy in the article. I'm just saying, it's less likely to happen in today's society because it's no longer uncommon.
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  #10  
Old 05-26-2011, 02:35 PM
KENTUCKYREDBONE
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Way I see it the Parents are the ones that done wrong not the child!
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