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  #21  
Old 06-03-2011, 12:58 PM
County Mike
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Stare straight ahead. Say nothing.
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  #22  
Old 06-03-2011, 01:07 PM
Primadawn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by County Mike View Post
Stare straight ahead. Say nothing.
And for heaven's sake, don't tap your foot on the floor!
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  #23  
Old 09-23-2011, 01:24 PM
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VCURamFan VCURamFan is offline
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Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML
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  #24  
Old 09-23-2011, 10:21 PM
adamt adamt is offline
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there are some pretty funny vids about mens bathroom etiquette
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  #25  
Old 12-03-2011, 03:04 AM
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Here's a few I've been holding onto:

Quote:
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Quote:
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Quote:
Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML
Quote:
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
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  #26  
Old 12-09-2011, 08:29 PM
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More
Quote:
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
Quote:
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, d***** bag." FML
Quote:
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
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Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
Quote:
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
Quote:
Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML
Quote:
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
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