Let Them Look?

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84

For example: Women allow and even go with their husbands to the camp grounds at Talladega knowing the women after beads are going to be out in full forces. That bothers me. TV and movies when you have no idea before hand what might be shown is not looking.

I guess the difference would be finding someone to look at as opposed to someone breifly crossing your path and noticing they are attractive.

Bingo. It's one thing to notice an attractive person of the opposite sex, it's something entirely different to go out of your way to look at them.

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84

I have my thoughts as a Christian woman, but that is not really what I was asking. I just wonder how big a deal is it to you if you notice your spouse checking someone else out.

You hit on this in your response above.. I don't mind noticing but "checking out" is not a good idea. Not from a position of insecurity but rather from potential threats in the future.

Originally Posted by surveyorshawn

From experience, it's a bad idea, and over time can gradually lead farther. Other than noticing that someone is attractive in passing (you can't help who walks past you & what they look like), a quick 2nd glance can lead to a 3rd, a stare, lust, etc. From a Christian perspective, "He who is unfaithful in little will be unfaithful in much"

Excellent post.



TRUE STORY: I lead a small group for men each week and lust and temptation are something we cover on a regular basis. Sometimes it's a study and others it just comes up during normal conversation. We were talking about looking at woman one day and I was explaining to the guys that they shouldn't feel guilty for noticing a pretty woman. After all we do live in Florida so there are ALWAYS women in skimpy outfits everywhere. So looking at a pretty woman and acknowledging she's pretty is ok. Leering and letting an acknowledgment turn to lust is what gets us in trouble. So I tell the guys "that first look is often unavoidable so just bounce your eyes quickly and carry on with what you're doing". Well this one guy who hardly ever speaks asks me "Chuck, I know that a 2nd and 3rd look is bad but is there anything in the Bible about how long that first look can last?"

As we have accepted we cannot prevent attractive people from coming within our line of sight. I have a problem if it is sought after, if a comment follows, or if a second glance is given.

When I was a little girl I asked my mom how did she know my dad loved her and she told me it wasn't that he made her feel like the only woman in the world, but rather that he made her feel like she was the only important woman to him. Honestly I think the second look takes away from the idea that only our spouse's appeal to us is important.

Some women and men can take it like it is nothing. I'm not really one of those types. While I'm not likely to saw anything over the second glance it is hurtful and that in itself should be enough of a reason for it to not happen. God knows if my husband caught my giving some guy's crotch a first or second glance it would hit the fan.

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84

God knows if my husband caught my giving some guy's crotch a first or second glance it would hit the fan.

His crotch would hit the fan? That's a little extreme. You're the one doing the gawking!

Originally Posted by County Mike

His crotch would hit the fan? That's a little extreme. You're the one doing the gawking!

I figured everyone would get the "it" was missing the sh in this case.

[VCURamFan]

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84

I figured everyone would get the "it" was missing the sh in this case.

I beleive the currently acceptable slang-replacement is "ish", as in "Awwww, yeah, dat's my ish right there!"

Originally Posted by VCURamFan

I beleive the currently acceptable slang-replacement is "ish", as in "Awwww, yeah, dat's my ish right there!"

OMG how could the other moms in car pool and PTA not let me know I wasn't hip on the latest slang!

Originally Posted by VCURamFan

I beleive the currently acceptable slang-replacement is "ish", as in "Awwww, yeah, dat's my ish right there!"

this is correct ...

as for looking .. looking and lusting are two different things ... you can't help but notice people who are attractive .. just like you notice a nice looking car .. but i think this about draws the line ..

Originally Posted by rearnakedchoke

this is correct ...

as for looking .. looking and lusting are two different things ... you can't help but notice people who are attractive .. just like you notice a nice looking car .. but i think this about draws the line ..

I think they were checking out a guy.

[VCURamFan]

Originally Posted by Chuck

I think they were checking out a guy.

What can I say? I look good in Daisy Dukes.

Originally Posted by VCURamFan

What can I say? I look good in Daisy Dukes.

Agreed.