Let Them Look?

I just saw an interesting bit on Headline News about if it is better for relationship to let each other "look". The news anchor said it is something you "give up" at marriage almost like he considered it to be a punishment. Most of the people interviewed off the streets say "I know who he/she is coming home to." What do you think?

[TexasRN]

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84

I just saw an interesting bit on Headline News about if it is better for relationship to let each other "look". The news anchor said it is something you "give up" at marriage almost like he considered it to be a punishment. Most of the people interviewed off the streets say "I know who he/she is coming home to." What do you think?

Define "look." I notice attractive people around me just like I notice pretty flowers around me.


~Amy

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84

I just saw an interesting bit on Headline News about if it is better for relationship to let each other "look". The news anchor said it is something you "give up" at marriage almost like he considered it to be a punishment. Most of the people interviewed off the streets say "I know who he/she is coming home to." What do you think?

I'm not sure I understand your question? I know you're a believer so are you asking if it's ok as a Christian in a committed marriage to look at someone of the opposite sex?

I have thoughts on the issue... but I want to make sure I understand your question first.

Originally Posted by TexasRN

Define "look." I notice attractive people around me just like I notice pretty flowers around me.


~Amy

I don't know exactly.

For example: Women allow and even go with their husbands to the camp grounds at Talladega knowing the women after beads are going to be out in full forces. That bothers me. TV and movies when you have no idea before hand what might be shown is not looking.

I guess the difference would be finding someone to look at as opposed to someone breifly crossing your path and noticing they are attractive.

Originally Posted by Chuck

I'm not sure I understand your question? I know you're a believer so are you asking if it's ok as a Christian in a committed marriage to look at someone of the opposite sex?

I have thoughts on the issue... but I want to make sure I understand your question first.

I have my thoughts as a Christian woman, but that is not really what I was asking. I just wonder how big a deal is it to you if you notice your spouse checking someone else out.

As long as he don't look like a mean ol' pervert I don't care. Really I have the open door policy if you don't like me or want someone else the door will NOT hit you on the back so kick rocks...There's no shortage of men and I don't mind dating and having fun with the wrong ones til my Mr. Right arrives..
I don't like to look or feel insecure most men are turned off by that.. Confidence is sexy!!
My lover stares at me with his pretty blue eyes. Gosh I don't want him to leave... :(

Everyone looks. I prefer quick glances. if i were to see my husband staring i would be mad. I also wouldn't stare at someone. if a look is all you need then i think it should be a quick glance. I am also weird about staring becuase i wouldn't want anyone seeing my husbnad standing next to me staring at someone else. or worse the hot girl see my husband staring at her when i'm right there. i've seen guys staring at me before and they were with their girls and i just thought to myself what a piece of crap. (okay it probably only happened once)

i am guilty of pointing out the hotties to my husband though. but he better look quickly.

i'm sure he does the same when i'm not aroung (yeah i'm rolling my eyes)

i've known a few dirt bag guys and staring catches the girls attention and then that leads elsewhere. i don't want my husbnad to look like a dirtbag.

I have different rules for my friends we hang with.

It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.

From experience, it's a bad idea, and over time can gradually lead farther. Other than noticing that someone is attractive in passing (you can't help who walks past you & what they look like), a quick 2nd glance can lead to a 3rd, a stare, lust, etc. From a Christian perspective, "He who is unfaithful in little will be unfaithful in much"

This advice comes from the same people who recommend porn or an affair to spice up a marriage. Even for non-Christians, it should be common sense that you can not outsource intimacy. A glance may be harmless, but staring at someone’s butt and certainly encouraging your significant other to do so is not a plan for a successful relationship. We really have to be careful where we’re getting advice.