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Old 02-22-2010, 06:33 PM
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VCURamFan VCURamFan is offline
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Default Bored at work

So I think the powers that be figured out that I watch entirely too much YouTube/Hulu when I get called in to "work" these part time shifts because the computer here suddenly no longer has Flash on it.

Not to be unfairly forced into productivity, I did a quick google search & came up with a fun little website: www.BoredAtWork.com

One of the first articles was extremely useful:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ways to Feign Productivity at Work
If you're gainfully employed and reading this, odds are you shirk responsibility most of the time and get *maybe* an hours worth of real work done in per day. Congrats! You're pretty awesome.

But there are always those times when you hear someone around the corner....is it your boss? The talkative coworker? The nudge who always complains about not being appreciated? Regardless, you probably don't want them to think you just stare at your screen all day, idly looking at the bottom-right of your screen...begging for 5 pm to roll around so you can go home and probably get right back on your computer and do nothing.

In those instances, I've devised some easy strategies to employ when you think someone is coming by to check on you / talk:

1) Put a pen in your mouth - you're way too busy to have the pen just laying there on your desk! Having a pen in your mouth while typing something on the screen implies that you *will* be writing something shortly. Your boss see the pen and think' "Wow! What a forward thinker and a multi-tasker is what you are!"

2) Reach for a blank sheet of paper and start writing something vigorously - it really doesn't matter what you write (not as if they're going to actually look at your paper)...just scribble something. Draw circles, it doesn't matter. What matters is that it it *appears* as though you actually are doing something productive.

3) While staring at your screen, quickly mumble as though you are proof-reading an email - "Thank you again for your time. I hope to hear from you soon. All the best, ______" should cut it. Then press down on your mouse really hard as though you're sending it. It'll look even better if you hav a pen in your mouth while doing this.

4) Email your boss random, job-related questions every other day - it shows you're staying on top of your job, inflates your bosses ego, and will keep him/her off your back. *Warning* Your boss may follow up with you with regards to some of the questions you send. So be cautious and send innocuous questions and requests like "Do youXXXXXX's contact info," "Are we still on for later?" "I just got the info on XXXXX, please advise how to proceed."

5) At random points throughout the work-week, loudly curse at your computer - You may already do this, but just in case, this is a surefire way to make believe you actually care about what you're doing. After all, why would anyone curse at their computer screen if they were doing nothing? A random "GOD DAMN IT!" or "****!" will likely suffice. When someone pops their head up and asks what's the matter, just say "Sorry, nothing....just gets frustrating sometimes." Vague, involved, emotional. Perfect.

6) Take advantage of that stockpile of Post-Its in your desk - On one, write someone's name and a phone number. On another, the name of a company and their main line. On yet another, in bold print, write out "DO NOT FORGET TO FAX PATTY THE PLANS!!!" Then stick them in random places around your desk / cubicle. You can go in so many different directions with this.

7) Keep a day planner on your desk in front of you - Write random plans throughout the week in different color ink so it would appear as though you wrote them in at different times. Ideas? At 3pm on Wednesday you have a conference call with Jim and Alex from accounting. At 9am on Friday you have to be at 1443 Broadway to meet with a prospective client. Again, use your imagination here.

8) Have a bottle of water nearby - When the bossman rolls by, start chugging. Drinking water implies that you're parched from talking so much. When he/she stops at your desk, say "sorry, wow, been on the phone all morning. <clear your throat> What's up?"

9) Always keep a random article from Yahoo Finance tabbed - For instance: http://finance.yahoo.com/q/op?s=HPQ . You'll likely need to quickly change screens when people are coming by. If you work for a publicly traded company, boom, you're doing research on your own firm. Way to be on top of current news! You are SUCH a good employee.

10) Have a random gym bags near your desk - Fill it with twinkies, it doesn't matter. People see a gym bag and they assume you're going to the gym. If they assume you're going to the gym, they'll assume you're an active person. If they assume you're an active person, they'll assume you wouldn't waste time futzing around on the computer. So not only do they think you work out, but they also admire you work ethic. Gym bags...they're like nature's way of saying "you're special"

Now get to work and stop working!
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Old 02-22-2010, 07:15 PM
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I have now discovered www.StuffOurBossSays.com. Here's some gems:

Quote:
The best advice I can give you about office politics is to go to lots of business dinners and drink less than everyone else. You will learn all kinds of things you can use against them later.
Quote:
I don't care how drunk you get here, as long as you can still get your work done.
Quote:
This is probably not work appropriate, but have you heard of this viral video called Two Girls, One Cup?
Quote:
Whenever people say sexy things, I usually have to Google it to find out what they mean.
Quote:
Why is there so much traffic? Oh isn’t it some weird Jew holiday? They have to get back before the sun goes down or something? They’re like vampires.
Quote:
You’re like a Muslim or something, right? You don’t celebrate any real holidays anyway, right?
Quote:
I need to sign you guys up for Healthcare this year. So, do you get a lot of pap smears or what?
Quote:
You're sick? Well, if its just your time of the month, can’t you just take a midol or something and get back to work?
In case you can't tell, I'm reeeeeallly bored today!
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Old 02-22-2010, 07:19 PM
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Great article.

Another tip, if you walk around the office just chatting with friends, carry a notebook, folder or anything that makes your walk look job-related.
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Old 02-22-2010, 07:23 PM
CAVEMAN
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VCURamFan View Post
So I think the powers that be figured out that I watch entirely too much YouTube/Hulu when I get called in to "work" these part time shifts because the computer here suddenly no longer has Flash on it.

Not to be unfairly forced into productivity, I did a quick google search & came up with a fun little website: www.BoredAtWork.com

One of the first articles was extremely useful:

Good stuff!
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Old 02-22-2010, 07:49 PM
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VCURamFan VCURamFan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by County Mike View Post
Great article.

Another tip, if you walk around the office just chatting with friends, carry a notebook, folder or anything that makes your walk look job-related.
Yeah, I used to do a lot fo that stuff at my old temp jobs. The place I work part-time at now is just the leasing office of an apartment building, so I'm to only one here in the office & the only people who "check up on me" are tenats with questions. It's a pretty easy gig, I just wish I had more hours.
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Old 02-23-2010, 08:37 PM
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I am master at the art of "looking busy without actually being busy"
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