I dont know Foxy, but I tell my boys to respect them and the 2 oldest ones wont even go over there and I never told them not to, that is their choice. Her parents just thinks that they are better then most people and I can't for the life of me get that one. Like I said I was the one they would ask for help and I would never refuse and I would have my sons help and they would always ask me, "Why", and to this day I still don't have a good answer to that.
I know what you mean.. The thing with children is they see things for themselves. My children are respectful, but they come back saying they do not like going over there. It's really weird. I used to help my ex-mother in law as well and she never appreciated it. She was impossible. She told my ex she would rather see him dead than with me. I don't know I always tell myself to not be like that when my kids date/marry. I know I won't always see eye to eye with them, but I love my children enough to keep them close and especially when I become a Grandmother one day hell or high water I want to be a big part of the kids life!!