Raising Daughters?

Originally Posted by RG8144

My wife and I just had our ultra-sound this morning and found out we are having a little girl! Based on wives tales and such we were pretty sure it was a boy...so now my world has been rocked...in an awesome way! I must admit that raising a daughter as a first child is a bit more daunting than the thought of raising a first child as a boy.

I am new to this...I have a lot of great examples of good parenting in my life, but I wanted to see if anyone here has some good input, advice or even resources for a new father who is raising a girl and wants to do so in a God-honoring way...

I guess I could throw a couple questions out there that I have in mind initially:

1. What are the biggest challenges & blessings of having a daughter?
2. What are some of the most significant differences between raising a boy and a girl?
3. What are 1-3 of the best parenting resources or pieces of advice you use or would offer?
4. If you were a teenage boy would you be scared of me? (I think I posted a pic somewhere around here! haha)

First...CONGRATS!! How wonderful I one day hope to be a mommy...and of course dream of a baby girl. Not a parent yet, so I can't give much advice on parenting, but here is a little insight from what I learned growing up:

> BE THERE! I was without a father (he chose to leave my mother when she was preggo...they were not married & met him much later in life) I did have a great gpa (but he did shy away when I hit my teens...and it took a few years to build it back up again.)

> Be involved - if she likes ballet, take her to classes & see her recitals! Get excited about her tu-tus! Give her the opportunity to do what you like to...take her fishing, let her see for herself if she likes... She could be 100% Girly-girl but at least give her the opportunity to figure that out.

> Tell her you LOVE HER!!! I know I needed to hear it more than I did, so look her in the eyes when you do, kiss her forehead. Cuddle with her when she has a bad dream, and (like someone else said) get excited about her tea parties (....or barbies, or my little ponies....)

I know most of this is as she becomes a toddler, and little girl...but when she is a newborn hold her, rock her to sleep, get up with her in the middle of the night and feed her so mommy can rest.

Be supportive that your wife needs her alone time to recharge...that alone will speak volumes to your little angel, knowing her daddy loves her mommy & appreciates his wife, even if it means mommy only is taking a bubble bath.

Congrats to you both!!! The fact that you WANT advice shows you will be an amazing parent

>

Originally Posted by NateR

I don't have kids, so any info I have come from observing parents with their kids or reading about the topic. However, I did hear an interesting bit of advice from a Christian child psychologist a while back. This won't be anything to worry about until your daughter reaches puberty, but it is something to keep in mind.

Many fathers enjoy being affectionate with their daughters and maintaining a high level of closeness and physical contact (non-sexual, of course) while their girls are young. However, once the daughter starts menstruating, then many dads pull away, worrying that the same level of affection is inappropriate. This sudden emotional cutting-off from her dad can lead to feelings of confusion and rejection in the young girl right at a time in her life when she needs to feel unconditional acceptance the most.

What this study showed was that teenage girls whose fathers did NOT pull away from them during puberty become sexually active much later in life, than girls whose fathers did pull away.

Like I said, not something to worry about now.

Def great advise!!!!

[MattHughesRocks]

I never had a girl but I sure remember being one! ( I'm a woman now so no smart alec remarks people)

When she gets to about 9, all you can do is put her in a closet, lock the door and run!Go back in and get her when she's 28. It's your only hope!

Originally Posted by MattHughesRocks

I never had a girl but I sure remember being one! ( I'm a woman now so no smart alec remarks people)

When she gets to about 9, all you can do is put her in a closet, lock the door and run!Go back in and get her when she's 28. It's your only hope!

mhr the eternal optimist
do you need to be cuddled

[MattHughesRocks]

Absolutely

Originally Posted by TENNESSEAN

mhr the eternal optimist
do you need to be cuddled

Originally Posted by MattHughesRocks

Absolutely

call chuck

I have a 14 year old daughter so maybe you dont even wanna hear from me! LOL!!! I completely agree with Amy on letting her be an individual. With boys you can count on them liking super heroes and fast cars.(I have a boy too). But with girls they each so unique that you really dont know what you are going to get. You could have a girly girl (mine is in love with Taylor Lautner from Twilight) that loves to kill deer( and shes reallly bummed because she hasnt gotten one yet). Girls are alot of work but so much joy as well. No matter who you end up with she will bless your family! Good luck!

Originally Posted by TexasRN

I have a boy and a girl. My advice is to treat your daughter like an individual according to her personality. Some girls are girly and some are very tomboyish. Both are fine. Love her, be there for her, and model a good marriage for her with your wife so she knows women should be treated well by their husbands and both should respect the other.

I particularly liked T Berry Brazelton for child advice books. He was very common sense and down to earth.
http://books.google.com/books?as_aut...ed=0CBoQsAMwAw

The other resources I'd use are the Bible and other church families who have good relationships with their teenage and/or grown children.

I agree with what NateR said with regards to puberty and teen girls. She will need affection from a male source. Let that male be YOU (appropriately-obviously) so that she doesn't seek it elsewhere. Let her always know she can talk to you and she will always be "daddy's girl" no matter what and that you're proud of her.


~Amy

Oh and your last question...........when I was young NO guy was afraid of my dad. But he didnt have to be scary. My brother was Special Forces and thats all he had to say!

[flo]

We don't have kids so don't have any insight but would like to say

Congratulations!!!

to you and your wife...same to Mike & his wife.

[Bonnie]

Congratulations

Everybody's advice is all good and it looks like we have some really great daddies here.

And Mike, dear, dear Mike.....get ready!