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  #1  
Old 12-09-2009, 06:21 PM
RG8144
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Default Raising Daughters?

My wife and I just had our ultra-sound this morning and found out we are having a little girl! Based on wives tales and such we were pretty sure it was a boy...so now my world has been rocked...in an awesome way! I must admit that raising a daughter as a first child is a bit more daunting than the thought of raising a first child as a boy.

I am new to this...I have a lot of great examples of good parenting in my life, but I wanted to see if anyone here has some good input, advice or even resources for a new father who is raising a girl and wants to do so in a God-honoring way...

I guess I could throw a couple questions out there that I have in mind initially:

1. What are the biggest challenges & blessings of having a daughter?
2. What are some of the most significant differences between raising a boy and a girl?
3. What are 1-3 of the best parenting resources or pieces of advice you use or would offer?
4. If you were a teenage boy would you be scared of me? (I think I posted a pic somewhere around here! haha)
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Old 12-09-2009, 06:41 PM
Blmfighter
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I have three girls 1,3, and 4 years old.

1> Letting them be girls, buying pink stuff and not treating them like boys.

2> Never had boys, however going by kids of friends. Girls are easier and don't tend to rip your house apart.

3> Understand that they donít think like you.
Spend good time with them. Donít just watch T.V. while they play. Interact with them.
Let them know that you love them and are proud of them.

4> Sorry, never saw the pic. When I was a teenage boy I was not smart enough to be scared of anyone.
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Old 12-09-2009, 07:02 PM
County Mike
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I hear ya brother. We find out on Friday if we're having a boy or a girl. I'm scared to death of having a girl first. Not saying I wouldn't love her unconditionally. Just saying I'd be extra worried about her all the time.

I have no experience, so I'm afraid I have no worthwhile advice. Best of luck to you though.
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Old 12-09-2009, 07:33 PM
Twinsmama
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I have twins, a boy and a girl. I think the advice about not treating her like a boy is good advice. My boy loves being outside, mudding , fishing and getting dirty. My girl does too but she also like being in the house helping me cook. My boy will only help cook if he is using something that has a motor (mixer). Girls still like to do boy stuff but they also like girl stuff. Pretty her up with lots of pink and girlie things. I agree that you will need to do girl stuff with her.

The biggest difference is the affect she will have on you! A little girl will melt a daddy's heart and a little boy makes a daddy so proud. You'll know what I mean......

PS Your Dr called Mike and confirmed it is 2 girls!!!haha
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Old 12-09-2009, 07:33 PM
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NateR NateR is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RG8144 View Post
My wife and I just had our ultra-sound this morning and found out we are having a little girl! Based on wives tales and such we were pretty sure it was a boy...so now my world has been rocked...in an awesome way! I must admit that raising a daughter as a first child is a bit more daunting than the thought of raising a first child as a boy.

I am new to this...I have a lot of great examples of good parenting in my life, but I wanted to see if anyone here has some good input, advice or even resources for a new father who is raising a girl and wants to do so in a God-honoring way...

I guess I could throw a couple questions out there that I have in mind initially:

1. What are the biggest challenges & blessings of having a daughter?
2. What are some of the most significant differences between raising a boy and a girl?
3. What are 1-3 of the best parenting resources or pieces of advice you use or would offer?
4. If you were a teenage boy would you be scared of me? (I think I posted a pic somewhere around here! haha)
I don't have kids, so any info I have come from observing parents with their kids or reading about the topic. However, I did hear an interesting bit of advice from a Christian child psychologist a while back. This won't be anything to worry about until your daughter reaches puberty, but it is something to keep in mind.

Many fathers enjoy being affectionate with their daughters and maintaining a high level of closeness and physical contact (non-sexual, of course) while their girls are young. However, once the daughter starts menstruating, then many dads pull away, worrying that the same level of affection is inappropriate. This sudden emotional cutting-off from her dad can lead to feelings of confusion and rejection in the young girl right at a time in her life when she needs to feel unconditional acceptance the most.

What this study showed was that teenage girls whose fathers did NOT pull away from them during puberty become sexually active much later in life, than girls whose fathers did pull away.

Like I said, not something to worry about now.
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Old 12-09-2009, 08:18 PM
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TexasRN TexasRN is offline
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I have a boy and a girl. My advice is to treat your daughter like an individual according to her personality. Some girls are girly and some are very tomboyish. Both are fine. Love her, be there for her, and model a good marriage for her with your wife so she knows women should be treated well by their husbands and both should respect the other.

I particularly liked T Berry Brazelton for child advice books. He was very common sense and down to earth.
http://books.google.com/books?as_aut...ed=0CBoQsAMwAw

The other resources I'd use are the Bible and other church families who have good relationships with their teenage and/or grown children.

I agree with what NateR said with regards to puberty and teen girls. She will need affection from a male source. Let that male be YOU (appropriately-obviously) so that she doesn't seek it elsewhere. Let her always know she can talk to you and she will always be "daddy's girl" no matter what and that you're proud of her.


~Amy
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Old 12-09-2009, 08:24 PM
CAVEMAN
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My wife and I have 3 girls and a boy. The boy is our youngest. My best advice when it comes to the girls is to make sure you spend plenty of time with them. Read books with them, dance with them, and attend their tea parties! Make sure they know you love them. And Nate is right, don't pull away from them when they get to be teenagers. It is that time in life when they need their father the most. And lastly, keep a Louisville Slugger by the door for those pesky boy friends.
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Old 12-09-2009, 08:27 PM
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TexasRN TexasRN is offline
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My dad had a small cannon that my uncle gave him that he'd cart out for every new bf I had.


~Amy
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  #9  
Old 12-09-2009, 08:39 PM
CAVEMAN
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasRN View Post
My dad had a small cannon that my uncle gave him that he'd cart out for every new bf I had.


~Amy
Yeah, I believe that would of freaked me out a bit!
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  #10  
Old 12-09-2009, 09:30 PM
TENNESSEAN
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thanks for that post Nate. it makes a lot of sense.


I have two seven year old girls. they are polar opposites. one loves dance and dressing up the other loves animals and cowgirl type stuff.


my advice would be to encourage them to try things, find out what they love and be a huge part of that. on any given weekend im taking one girl to dog agility trials during the day and that night im wearing a suit at a ballroom dance competition. its tons of fun.

another thing I like is camping. take your kids camping as often as possible. old school camping sleeping bags and tents no elec. sitting around a fire just the wife and kids its awesome. there's something about a campfire that makes kids open up and talk about everything that's on their little minds even at seven years old. last time we went camping I was amazed at the stories about the happenings of 1st grade. nothing alarming but they grow up way to fast. next time you have 4 or 5 hours to burn call me I will tell you all about my girls.

don't sweat the girl thing buddy, love her be a part of every thing she loves its great. life is just getting started for you.
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