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Old 09-01-2009, 05:19 PM
County Mike
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Default The Ant and the Grasshopper

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
This one is a little different... Two Different Versions! Two Different Morals!

OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!



MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.


The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.


CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.


How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?


Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'


Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant 's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.


Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.


Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.


The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.


The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ants food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.


The ant has disappeared in the snow.


The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.



MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.
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  #2  
Old 09-01-2009, 09:04 PM
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Neezar Neezar is offline
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Old 09-01-2009, 09:09 PM
Crisco
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This is good
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Old 09-01-2009, 09:16 PM
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They need to add something about how the grasshopper bitches about how the ant got the job done, too.

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  #5  
Old 09-01-2009, 11:44 PM
County Mike
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The real problem lately is that too many grasshoppers also get to vote.
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Old 09-07-2009, 04:53 PM
TheConcretekid
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Quote:
Originally Posted by County Mike View Post
The real problem lately is that too many grasshoppers also get to vote.
that pesky 15th amendment
too bad after ww2 the US vowed to not let another genocide happen, right guys!?
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