Chuck, I think you are dead on with this one! It is about the family receiving closure.
And I am sure this may not be popular opinion but I would venture to wager that preaching the gospel at funerals could create more buzzards than converts.
I used to want to be buried just under the roots of a flowering shrubbery bush, without being embalmed to I would become a part of the plant faster. Well, that is illegal. So then I wanted to be cremated and planted with some flowers. Well, years ago a close friend died and was cremated. Her funeral felt....well, just weird. Her family had a horrible time with her death and one of the older folks said it was because they never gave her a proper goodbye. She said that was the purpose of the viewing and the funeral. The viewing to see the body and be forced to accept the death. And the funeral to say goodbye. It made sense to me so now I want to have a viewing and then a proper funeral.
and my wife and her mother picked the music for my wedding
and the pastor chose what to preach
And forgive me but I can't help but laugh when I read your post... nothing illustrate my point of it being selfish then the last part of your post....
I really love this sentence...(emphasis added)
I can just hear you in your accent with your arms crossed and your bottom lip out... you remind me of Violet from Willy Wonka...
It is my funeral, and it will be planned out and had better go exactly as I want it, because the Funeral is the Finale to my Life."
Besides I'm not as close to the rest of my family as you might think. I cant leave planning a memorial service of my life to them. They wouldnt know where to begin and they wouldnt get it right.
...also...to be fair, the ones I leave behind are unlikely to be very close. The chances are high that the only core family to attend my Funeral will be my two Sisters. You seem to be very short in remembering that as I grow old I shall only get more and more alone.
My Grandparents will die, my Parents will die, my sisters will marry and have Children. So when I die, it will only be "closure" for two Sisters...the rest wont need closure, because they will have already died more then likely.
If I'm really old, the chances are I might outlive a sister, and the other might be too old to travel.
Also...unlike the majority of the rest of you, I dont get to have a "big day" I am barred from marriage, so my Funeral is about the only thing, major liturgical event I CAN plan.
So...with that settled. I'll lay out the Funeral Service for you to see
"Be of good comfort, Master Ridley, and play the man! We shall this day light such a candle, by God's grace, in England, as I trust shall never be put out."
--Hugh Latimer, October 16, 1555
The Funeral and Service of Thanks Giving For the Life of David Stuart Duff Within The Night Office of Choral Evensong
Requesting a Blue Covered Catafalque Situated at the head of the Nave infront of a lit Paschal Candle. Light wooden Closed-Coffin with cream linning and brass handles to be covered in a Purple Pall, and no Flowers atop. Cortege to include strictly close nuclear family and Martin Brown.
Standard Bearer Party also required
Organ Music Prior to The Service as the Congregation assemble
Suite Gothique by Leon Boellmann
Chorale and Minuet
Prierre and Toccatta
Entrance of Cortege to Organ Voluntary The Great Prelude in C Minor by JS Bach
Choir To Remain at Church door for The Introit, and to then process with the Purcell Version of the Funerial Sentances
Introit- "Drop, Drop Slow Tears" William Waltons Version
Drop Slow Tears, and bathe those beauteous feet, which bore from Heaven, the news and Prince of Peace. Cease not wet eyes, his mercy to entreat, to cry for vengence, for sin doth never cease. Drop Drop, slow tears, and in your deep floods drown all my faults and fears, nor let His eye see sin, but through my tears
Funerial Sentances, Henry Purcells Setting
"I am the Ressurection and The Life, whosoever liveth and believeth in me, shall never die. I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth, and though after my skin worms distroy this body, yet in flesh shall I see GOD, who I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall be behold, we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out, the Lord gavest and The Lord hath taken away, blessed be the Name of The Lord. ,Thou knowest, Lord, the secrets of our hearts; shut not thy merciful ears to our prayers; but spare us, Lord most holy, O God most mighty, O holy and merciful Saviour, thou most worthy Judge eternal, suffer us not, at our last hour, for any pains of death, to fall from thee, I heard a voice from Heaven, saying unto me write from henceforth blessed are they which die in the Lord even so saith the Spirit for they rest from their Labours"
Confession and Absolution
DEARLY beloved brethren, the Scripture moveth us, in sundry places, to acknowledge and confess our manifold sins and wickedness; and that we should not dissemble nor cloak them before the face of Almighty God our heavenly Father; but confess them with an humble, lowly, penitent, and obedient heart; to the end that we may obtain forgiveness of the same, by his infinite goodness and mercy. And although we ought, at all times, humbly to acknowledge our sins before God; yet ought we chiefly so to do, when we assemble and meet together to render thanks for the great benefits that we have received at his hands, to set forth his most worthy praise, to hear his most holy Word, and to ask those things which are requisite and necessary, as well for the body as the soul. Wherefore I pray and beseech you, as many as are here present, to accompany me with a pure heart, and humble voice, unto the throne of the heavenly grace, saying after me;
ALMIGHTY and most merciful Father; We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep. We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts. We have offended against thy holy laws. We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done; And there is no health in us. But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders. Spare thou them, O God, who confess their faults. Restore thou them that are penitent; According to thy promises declared unto mankind in Christ Jesu our Lord. And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake; That we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, To the glory of thy holy Name. Amen
ALMIGHTY God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who desireth not the death of a sinner, but rather that he may turn from his wickedness, and live; and hath given power, and commandment, to his Ministers, to declare and pronounce to his people, being penitent, the Absolution and Remission of their sins : He pardoneth and absolveth all them that truly repent, and unfeignedly believe his holy Gospel. Wherefore let us beseech him to grant us true repentance, and his Holy Spirit, that those things may please him, which we do at this present; and that the rest of our life hereafter may be pure, and holy; so that at the last we may come to his eternal joy; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Choral Responces (any setting will do)
Call: O Lord, open thou our lips.
Responce: And our mouth shall show forth thy praise.
Call: O God, make speed to save us.
Response: O Lord, make haste to help us
Call: Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost;
Responce: As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
Call: Praise ye the Lord.
Response: The Lord's Name be praised
Office Hymn: Abide With Me
Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.
Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day;
Earth's joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see;
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.
I need Thy presence every passing hour.
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.
I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
Where is death's sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.
Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.
Choir Sing in Chant Cantoris V Decani Psalm 130 De Profundis
1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;
2 O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.
3 If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
4 But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.
5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
6 My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
7 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
8 He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.
First Lesson (Old Testament)
Deuteronomy Chapter 30:11-end
11 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. 12 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 13 Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 14 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.
15 See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. 16 For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.
17 But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.
19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Choral Magnificat (Z Randle Stroop version)
MY soul doth magnify the Lord : and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
For he hath regarded : the lowliness of his handmaiden.
For behold, from henceforth : all generations shall call me blessed.
For he that is mighty hath magnified me : and holy is his Name.
And his mercy is on them that fear him : throughout all generations.
He hath showed strength with his arm : he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He hath put down the mighty from their seat : and hath exalted the humble and meek.
He hath filled the hungry with good things : and the rich he hath sent empty away.
He remembering his mercy hath holpen his servant Israel : as he promised to our forefathers, Abraham and his seed, for ever
Second Lesson (Old Testament)
anything from Ecclesiasties
Nunc Dimittis (I want the Latin Version by Herbery Howells, but I cant Find it, its extremely difficult to even find on CD
LORD, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace : according to thy word.
For mine eyes have seen : thy salvation,
Which thou hast prepared : before the face of all people;
To be a light to lighten the Gentiles : and to be the glory of thy people Israel.
Gospel Processional- Karl Jenkins Setting of Hymn Before Action
The Earth is full of anger
the seas are dark with wrath
the nations in there harness
go up against our path
ere yet we loose the legions
ere yet we draw the blade
Jehovah of the Thunders
Lord GOD of Battles Aid
High lust and froward bearing,
Proud heart, rebellious Pride
Deaf ear and soul uncaring,
We seek Thy mercy now
The sinner that forswore Thee,
The fool that passed Thee by,
Our times are known before Thee
Lord, grant us strength to die
Gospel As Yet Undecided
The tune begins at 5.55 mark
GOD shall wipe away their tears and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain, praise the Lord.
Anthem (Te Lucis Balfour Gardiners Setting in Latin)
Before The Ending of The Day
Creator of The World We pray
That in thy Wonted Favour thou
wouldst be our Gaurd and Keeper now
From all ill fears defend our eyes
from nightly fears and phantasies
tred underfoot our ghostly foe
that no pollution we may know
Oh Father that we ask be done
Through Jesus Christ Thine Only Son
who with the Holy Ghost and Thee
doth live and reign eternally
Hymn: The Day Thous Gavest
The day thou gavest lord is ended
the darkness falls at thy behest
to thee our morning hymns asccended
thy praise shall sanctify our rest
we thank ye that thy church unsleeping
while earth rolls onward into light
througout the world the watch is keeping
and rests not now by day or night
so be it lord thy throne shall never
like earths proud empires pass away
thy kingdom stands and grows forever
till all thy creatures own thy sway
I BELIEVE in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth :
And in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord: Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, Born of the Virgin Mary: Suffered under Pontius Pilate, Was crucified, dead, and buried: He descended into hell; The third day he rose again from the dead: He ascended into heaven, And sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty: From thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Ghost: The holy Catholick Church; The Communion of Saints: The Forgiveness of sins: The Resurrection of the body, And the Life everlasting. Amen.
Call:The Lord be with you.
Responce:And with thy spirit.
Call: Let us pray.
Lord, have mercy upon us.
Response: Christ, have mercy upon us.
Lord, have mercy upon us.
The Lords Prayer
UR Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, As it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. Amen.
Call:O Lord, shew thy mercy upon us.
Answer: And grant us thy salvation.
Call: O Lord, save the Queen.
Answer: And mercifully hear us when we call upon thee.
Call: Endue thy Ministers with righteousness.
Answer: And make thy chosen people joyful.
Call: O Lord, save thy people.
Answer: And bless thine inheritance.
Call: Give peace in our time, O Lord.
Answer: Because there is none other that fighteth for us, but only thou, O God.
Call: O God, make clean our hearts within us.
Answer: And take not thy Holy Spirit from us.
Collect Of Saint Michael The Archangel
O EVERLASTING God, who hast ordained and constituted the services of Angels and men in a wonderful order; Mercifully grant, that as thy holy Angels alway do thee service in heaven, so by thy appointment they may succour and defend us on earth; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle;
be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray:
and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
The Even Collect
O GOD, from whom all holy desires, all good counsels, and all just works do proceed; Give unto thy servants that peace which the world cannot give; that both our hearts may be set to obey thy commandments, and also that by thee, we, being defended from the fear of our enemies, may pass our time in rest and quietness; through the merits of Jesus Christ our Saviour. Amen.
The Collect for Aid against all Perils.
LIGHTEN our darkness, we beseech thee, O Lord; and by thy great mercy defend us from all perils and dangers of this night; for the love of thy only Son, our Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.
THE grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Ghost, be with us all evermore.
GOD save our Gracious Queen
Long live our Noble Queen
GOD save the Queen
send her victorious
happy and glorious
long to reign over us
GOD save the Queen
O Lord Our GOD arise
Scatter her eneimes
and make them fall,
confound their politics
frustrate their knavish tricks,
on thee our hopes we fix
GOD save us all
Thy choicest gifts in store
On her be pleased to pour
Long may she reign
May she defend our laws
and ever give us cause
to sing with heart and voice
GOD save the Queen
Cortege Leaves for Graveyard to John Tavaners Song for Athene
Alleluia. May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. Remember me O Lord, when you come into your kingdom. Give rest O Lord to your handmaid, who has fallen asleep. The choir of saints have found the well-spring of life, and door of paradise. Life: a shadow and a dream. Weeping at the grave creates the song: Alleluia. Come, enjoy rewards and crowns I have prepared for you.
Congregation Leave for Graveyard to Voluntary Carillon De Longpoint by Vierne
Once assembled in Graveyard
String Group and Vocalist Required. Removal of Pall to happen Prior to Burrial
Man that is born of a woman hath but a short time to live, and is full of
misery. He cometh up, and is cut down, like a flower; he fleeth as it were a
shadow, and never continueth in one stay.
In the midst of life we are in death: of whom may we seek for succour,
but of thee, O Lord, who for our sins art justly displeased?
Yet, O Lord God most holy, O Lord most mighty, O holy and most mer-
ciful Saviour, deliver us not into the bitter pains of eternal death
Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God to take unto himself the soul
here departed: we therefore commit his body to the
ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain
hope of the resurrection to eternal life, through our Lord Jesus Christ;
who shall change our mortal body, that it may be like unto his glorious
body, according to the mighty working, whereby he is able to subdue all
things to himself.
As Coffin is lowered a rendition of Didos Lament to be sung
When I am layed in earth let my wrongs create no trouble in thy breast. Remember me, but forget my fate
This would be my dream Funeral.
Dave you obviously put a lot of effort into that so I shall refrain from any silly remarks
I didn't read it all due to length.... but it looked very well thought out.
For example, The Surmon is in the wrong place for the office, but the right place for a mass, There is one to many readings for an office, but the right ammount for the common worship style of Mass. A lot of the prayers are 1662 Book of Common Prayer, I've swapped the collect of the Day for the Collect and Prayer of Saint Michael because he is my Patron Saint.
I've shortened the comittle because half the funeral senatances were sung by the Choir and dont need to be repeated. The Passages are sacred to me, as is the choice of psalm, and the inclusion of the National Anthem as I am a royalist.