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Originally Posted by Jonlion
Fair enough my friend
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I guess, I want to feel like, even though I cant train and compete, I can still contribute in some manner...does that make sense? Usually when I get into a new thing I like to be able to actually do it...but I'm not a Boffin on MMA, and I simply have far to many physcial limitations to even training let alone competing. Therefore, if I were just to watch, I wouldnt actually feel...well...part of it I guess. Having my reviews, or my letters, or a few articals published, makes me feel like ive done something...you know, ive had an achievement of some small sort...thats what makes me feel I'm part of this whole thing, not just someone who watches and has an opinion...if someone tells me I'm crappy and that I dont know anything about MMA, I can turn round and ask them how many Predictions Video they have uploaded, whether Fighters Only Magazine published their letters, whether they were published online as a "freelance Journalist" of course it doesnt mean any of that makes me better...for all anyone knows, Fighters Only had a shortage of letters the month I was published, the mma website that publishes my work isnt exactly Sherdog in quality or notoriety...and I am pretty poor at my predictons that I make on video.
But I spare the time to do all of it, and it acts as a nice little deflection when someone tries to be little me.
We all have fears about not achieveing, and not being good enough. Even I with GOD knows how many thousands of posts on this Forum...still...quite often feel...inadequet shall we say. I'm just practised in how I hide these things, and in creating ways to stop those who might shun me.
It might sound from reading my posts like I tell you all my personal feelings on everything. But actually...I dont. I havent ever divulged the information in this post before.