Hilarious Wes Sims Interview
Jeffrey "The Vile One" Harris: Obviously, you're done shooting the show, and the first episode hasn't aired yet so we can't talk too much about that. But what have you been doing since you finished shooting the show?
Wes Sims: Lots and lots of interviews . . . I really want to start working on my porn career. Yeah. Let's not elaborate that, let's not go into that. Just quote me, "I want to start working on my porn career."
TVO: Maybe the right person will read this interview.
WS: I just want to make sure because everybody knows I've got the largest crotch in the sport.
TVO: Is that such a good idea if you want to pursue a career in UFC or MMA to work in porn?
WS: Ah well, hell yeah, there's a lot of guys that do it. A lot of guys.
TVO: Who has done porn and fought in the UFC?
WS: Aaron Brink was a porn star. You got Dick Delaware. Kimbo Slice was a porn star before he was Kimbo Slice.
TVO: Yeah, he was the bodyguard of the MILF . . .
WS: Of the MILF Hunter, that's right. Frank Trigg did some gay ****.
TVO: Isn't he married?
WS: Whatever, I just know he did some gay pictures. 'Nuff said . . . do you want me to keep going? Give me enough time, I can think of some more.
TVO: I talked to Scott Junk who said no one was putting semen in anyone's food this season. Can you confirm that?
WS: I didn't put no semen in no one's food, and no one better have put no semen in my food. If anybody puts semen in my food, I'm pushing their **** in next time, quote me on that. I watch it, and I see somebody did something to something I ate, next time I see 'em, they're on blast. I'm pushing their **** in.
TVO: With like a baseball bat or something?
WS: Oh, uh-uh, uh-uh. The real thing. Yeah. I ain't going gay again, but I'll tell ya, I'm pushing their **** in.
TVO: Brendon Schaub was on the radio talking about Kimbo Slice being a great cook. Can you vouch for that?
WS: That man can cook a mean steak.
TVO: Would you invest in a steakhouse owned by Kimbo Slice.
WS: Yes, yes I would. I'm going to tell you one thing I wouldn't do.
WS: I wouldn't give one ****ing penny to Roy Nelson if it had anything to do with food because that fat **** ate everything he got his hands on. That pig-eating mother-****er wolfed down, I mean he uprooted a shrub out back and ate it. I ain't ever seen anything like it. I grew up on a farm, and we didn't have pigs that hungry.
TVO: I guess he's called "Big Country" for a reason.
WS: Fat Ass! We call him Fat Ass. That man has a growth over his belt line that at any point could erupt! Have you ever seen Total Recall?
TVO: Yeah man, I love that movie.
WS: You remember, "AHH! QUAID!" That's a man! That's a man under his shirt! There's another human being in there. Ridiculous fat. Roy, go on a diet.
TVO: He's with a lovely lady.
WS: Newsflash, she ain't in it for your appearance. That ridiculous haircut and that gut? Either he makes a lot of money and she takes it, or she's cheating on him. Quote me . . . I'm just telling ya, quote me, he either makes a lot of money and she takes it or she's cheating on him.
TVO: Being alone in the house, and its uncomfortable except all the alcohol and food you want. But what do you do to keep yourself mentally in the house so you don't lose it?
WS: I didn't. I ****ing lost it many times.
TVO: Sorry to hear that.
WS: You'll just have to wait and see.
TVO: Did you guys have to wank it a lot?
WS: There was no wanking. I tell ya, there was cameras everywhere. There was just no opportunity. I wasn't doing it unless I was getting paid for it.
TVO: So basically you guys knew if you were caught doing it, SpikeTV would be filming it?
WS: Oh yeah. If you're gonna wank it, you better got paid for it.
TVO: How do you handle that?
WS: It sucks! It sucks, how could it not? Another fact, there ain't nobody I could look at in that house and wanna go yank it.
TVO: So do you leave and go back home and find a piece of ass to unleash all that pent up torment?
WS: Are you kidding me? I flew a chick out there and I started beating the **** out of her immediately. I had my girl fly out and I ****ed the **** out of her in the hotel. I locked us in the hotel; we didn't get out for an entire day.
TVO: Did you paralyze her or what?
WS: Oh my God. At first go was horrible for myself because it was just ridiculous. But after that, I about ripped her guts out. I tell ya one thing . . . if I was someone waiting to get her kidney or something, I'd be dead because her ****'s all bruised up.
TVO: So it's kind of like you were pushing in and taking things out back on the way out?
WS: Oh the **** was ****ing -- yeah, it was a mess.
TVO: I'm sure she'll forgive you if she really cares.
WS: It makes me sick talking about it.
TVO: But being a veteran and going into the show, was there anything, and knowing you'd be training with Rampage or Rashad Evans, was there anything you specifically wanted to work on and improve?
WS: Oh for sure, you wait and see, however much training they show on tape, I have no idea, but the training sessions were so intense. They were awesome. It was really a really, really good experience and I wouldn't take anything back. I mean it was great. I loved it.
TVO: So what's the dirtiest thing you've ever seen Phil Baroni do?
WS: Man, I just think some of those internet pictures where his pants are hiked down well below his belt line just above his incredibly small penis. And it just makes me sick. I can't imagine some of the **** he's done. I can only assume, I can only assume he's had unprotected gay sex for money. And quote me for that, please.
TVO: What if Phil reads that?
WS: There's nothing better than an inter-camp struggle, there's nothing better than that.
TVO: Thoughts on the fight with Tito Ortiz fighting your trainer, Mark Coleman at UFC 106?
WS: I will say one thing. Mark's going to beat him up worse than Jenna [Jameson] took it in Jungle of Love 8.
Good find. Sims is a lunatic, funny, but nonetheless a certifiable crazy person. I'm glad MMA is a sport, thinking about Wes Sims without something to keep himself busy scares me