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  #11  
Old 08-24-2009, 12:10 PM
cubsfan47
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Recently I just had a new set of end of life documents drawn up; at 62 I guess it's more on my mind. Anyway, I discussed my funeral preferences with my executor. I have signed an organ donor card so I want anything which can help the living to be given to them. As for the rest, I am inclined toward cremation. Have not fully decided this yet.
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  #12  
Old 08-24-2009, 01:10 PM
rearnakedchoke
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Originally Posted by Chuck
Well.... I'll probably ruffle some feathers but.......... I always thought planning your funeral was selfish... your dead... whatever happens with regards to your funeral has no impact on you but a lot of impact on those left behind.

It's really a last act of selfishness if you ask me....

I've told my wife that my only wish is that she does whatever makes the grieving or remembrance process easier for her and the kids.. it makes no difference to me.


But if given a choice.... I'd like a black and gold casket ;-) With 6 pallbearers... 1 for each..... well you KNOW where I'm going with this
no man, it is actually the other way around .. i am gonna have everything taken care of, so my kids don't have to pull money out of their pocket and sit in a funeral home picking out a casket, burial plot all that stuff .. i am gonna prepay for my casket and cremation costs ... or maybe i will pay for a taxidermy man to stuff me with a smile on my face so i can be put on the wall ... that's the plan ..
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  #13  
Old 08-24-2009, 02:48 PM
Chuck
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I believe planning your own funeral is selfish. How did you all take that statement and somehow reach the conclusion that there would be no preparation?

I have a will. I have life insurance. The living care for the arrangements of the dead. No amount of "planning" will change that. Once I'm gone however sudden or gradual it might be those left behind will have to co-ordinate my service, arrangements etc. That can all be planned out in advance and given to a funeral director to make it easier but my point...... was simply that I don't think I should do the planning. I'll have input but I would rather my wife and children make arrangements and plans according to what's best for them... not carrying out some "last wishes" I might have.

And to your point PTM.... I would rather focus on sharing Christ to my friends/family/acquaintances with my life..... and not at my death. If I live my life right all those who know me will know who I was and what I stood for.

I can't even count how many times I've been to funerals and heard the Pastor talk about the deceased's commitment to Christ and thought to myself "I never knew they were a Christian!" I have no desire to be that guy.

I guess to further my rant just a tad... I get quite frustrated going to weddings and funerals where a commitment to Christ is put on display because "it's the right thing to do" but no evidence of Christ is found in either the Bride/Groom or deceased. I find it offensive.

Now by all means... back to your thread......

A black and gold casket would be nice... hopefully something upbeat but that's just me thinking of what might make it easier on others... I'd rather they tell me in advance then just guess
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  #14  
Old 08-24-2009, 04:12 PM
County Mike
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I want an old west or a viking funeral. No big expense. Stick me in a pine box and bury me in the yard OR put me in a rowboat, set it on fire and push me out to sea. That oughta do it.
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  #15  
Old 08-24-2009, 04:47 PM
que
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i asked my family to cremate me when i die, then pour my ashes into the atlantic ocean. i don't know anyone personally who has been cremated, and no one in my family has ever been cremated, but i like the idea of it. to me, it is the cleanest, cheapest and easiest way of going out. the last thing i want is for my family and friends to see me as a rotting piece of meat. i want their last image of me to be when i was alive. plus, i don't like the long, drawn out process of laying in the ground as maggots eat me while my body slowly decomposes. not that i would care, because i would be dead. but still, i like the idea of quickly being reduced to clean ashes and being scattered into the beautiful ocean. instead of being food for ugly maggots, i can be food for beautiful fish, plankton and ocean wildlife and give them life in return
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  #16  
Old 08-24-2009, 05:11 PM
adamt adamt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck
I believe planning your own funeral is selfish. How did you all take that statement and somehow reach the conclusion that there would be no preparation?

I have a will. I have life insurance. The living care for the arrangements of the dead. No amount of "planning" will change that. Once I'm gone however sudden or gradual it might be those left behind will have to co-ordinate my service, arrangements etc. That can all be planned out in advance and given to a funeral director to make it easier but my point...... was simply that I don't think I should do the planning. I'll have input but I would rather my wife and children make arrangements and plans according to what's best for them... not carrying out some "last wishes" I might have.

And to your point PTM.... I would rather focus on sharing Christ to my friends/family/acquaintances with my life..... and not at my death. If I live my life right all those who know me will know who I was and what I stood for.

I can't even count how many times I've been to funerals and heard the Pastor talk about the deceased's commitment to Christ and thought to myself "I never knew they were a Christian!" I have no desire to be that guy.

I guess to further my rant just a tad... I get quite frustrated going to weddings and funerals where a commitment to Christ is put on display because "it's the right thing to do" but no evidence of Christ is found in either the Bride/Groom or deceased. I find it offensive.

Now by all means... back to your thread......

A black and gold casket would be nice... hopefully something upbeat but that's just me thinking of what might make it easier on others... I'd rather they tell me in advance then just guess

preach it brother!!!!

yeah, they think it is gonna come out of their pockets, but isn't whatever you plan for your funeral coming out of their pockets as well. Money they won't inherit? Why don't you give them a bigger inheritance and let them throw you a funeral?


And I can't agree with you more on weddings!!!! I think it should be illegal for anyone other than a virgin to wear white, doesn't white mean she's pure? Especially when it is a remarriage. Well most remarriages, i don't want to group all remarriages. But after someone gets a divorce, can you really take their wedding seriously? I know their are exceptions, but most divorces are not the exception.


While on this tangent I am going to throw in another thing i hate. The people who are graduating from high school and tell all these great plans of college and they never follow through. They collect money from open houses for college but don't graduate. I think they should offer a refund to all the people that gave to them if they don't graduate college or if they get a degree then don't use it, instead coming home and selling insurance or something. They basically got four years of partying in while under the guise of education. Especially the ones that say they are going to bridal school , er um, i mean ... bible college, the church takes a love offering and two years later they decide not to go anymore. Or they go til they find a fiance then quit. Meanwhile podunk farm boys like me don't go to college and we're somewhat looked down on..... well maybe , maybe not, but it seemed i felt a bit left out when i didn't tell them what great things i was off to do. But i have done everything i told them i was gonna do.
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  #17  
Old 08-25-2009, 03:06 AM
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Vizion Vizion is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck
It's really a last act of selfishness if you ask me....
Waitaminute Chuck. What if you KNEW that your funeral was possibly the only time your relative/friend would hear the message of Jesus? You must understand, funerals are often the ONLY opportunity people will take to grace the inside of a church.

If you designed your funeral around bringing people closer to Jesus Christ through the music, message etc...would you argue that is selfish sir??
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  #18  
Old 08-25-2009, 03:29 AM
Chuck
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Originally Posted by Vizion
Waitaminute Chuck. What if you KNEW that your funeral was possibly the only time your relative/friend would hear the message of Jesus? You must understand, funerals are often the ONLY opportunity people will take to grace the inside of a church.

If you designed your funeral around bringing people closer to Jesus Christ through the music, message etc...would you argue that is selfish sir??
Well brother........................................... ............. I have a few thoughts about that

a) If I KNEW my funeral was the only time a friend/relative would hear the message of Christ.... then I would simply share the gospel with them before I died!

b) I guess I would stick by my previous response... I'm fairly certain that anybody who knows me even a little knows about my relationship with Christ so I doubt my funeral would be their only exposure

c) I'm nobody to inhibit the work of the Holy Spirit... me sharing or not sharing the gospel at my funeral won't keep anybody from Heaven..

d) and lastly.... my wife and all 4 of my children are all Christians (one of them literally!!) so I have no doubt that Christ will be shared at my funeral.

Again... my only point was that I believe planning out your own funeral is selfish... that doesn't mean it won't be planned nor does it mean that I wouldn't share an opinion... I'm simply saying that a funeral should be geared more to the needs of the living who are left behind to mourn then to the wants of the deceased.

IMO anyway.
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  #19  
Old 08-25-2009, 05:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck
And to your point PTM.... I would rather focus on sharing Christ to my friends/family/acquaintances with my life..... and not at my death. If I live my life right all those who know me will know who I was and what I stood for.
With all due respect, Chuck, your life is not the Gospel. I'm sure you are an honorable man and live an honorable life; however, the Gospel is not about you living your life right. It is not about you at all. It is about the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ in order to save sinners. Especially at funerals, mourners need to be told that Jesus conquered death and that the dead will be raised.

Believe it or not, I am not trying to win an argument. (I will stipulate that you "won" the argument, if you will please read below and listen at the link). I have heard convincing preaching and I am just trying to pass it along.


http://www.whitehorseinn.org/2009/ju...tary.html#0614

Quote:
What is the gospel? For many Christians today, the gospel is the good news about how I got saved-in other words, my conversion experience. But is that the way that the New Testament uses the term "gospel" or good news? Not at all. The apostles refer to the gospel as a message concerning God's Son, Jesus Christ: God made flesh, fulfilling all righteousness in our place, enduring our sentence on the cross, and being raised on the third day as the source of eternal life. Where are you in that definition? Where am I? Nowhere!!! That's why it's good news. The gospel is the good news about who God is and what he's done in spite of who we are and what we've done. The gospel is good news for us precisely because it isn't about us.

It's striking that we know practically nothing about the personal piety of the apostles. In fact, we know more about Peter's misunderstanding of the gospel and cowardice before the resurrection than we learn about his godliness afterward. The whole focus of the Scriptures is on God's salvation of the ungodly, the helpless, those without any hope of saving themselves.

That's not to say that there's no place for telling friends and neighbors about the difference that Christ has made in our lives or telling them how we came to faith through the gospel, as much as that mysterious work of the Spirit can be identified. But we shouldn't assimilate Christ's story to our own. What happened to us is the result of the gospel, it isn't the gospel. The gospel is what happened to Jesus Christ. It is his life story, not ours. And precisely because of that fact, our lives can be grafted onto his. We die to ourselves and "the show about nothing" and are made alive in Christ by the Spirit.

As we consider how we can be effective witnesses to Christ in a post-Christian culture, it's vital that we recover the clarity and confidence in the gospel as the good news concerning Christ that is, for precisely that reason, good news for all of us
I found the following link incredibly helpful:
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/T...?bcd=6/14/2009
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  #20  
Old 08-25-2009, 05:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck
Again... my only point was that I believe planning out your own funeral is selfish... that doesn't mean it won't be planned nor does it mean that I wouldn't share an opinion... I'm simply saying that a funeral should be geared more to the needs of the living who are left behind to mourn then to the wants of the deceased.

Who says that the wants of the deceased can not be geared to provide for the needs of the living? I, myself, have not planned out my funeral, but I imagine that as I get older, I probably will make some stipulations. For example, I will probably instruct my family to use some of my estate money to purchase Bibles and make them available free to any mourner that wants one. Would that plan be selfish? How is it benefiting me, to the detriment of my neighbor? Chuck, you spouted out an opinion without even waiting for anyone to consider the question and provide reasons concerning why they would make a particular request or plan. You questioned motives before a motive was even offered. You mentioned that your family is all Christian. That is great! However, you were concentrating on your situation without thinking of people in other situations (One could even say that that is the definition of self-centeredness, if one wanted to be unkind). A huge portion of my extended family is Buddhist and a funeral would literally be the only time that they would be open to hearing the Gospel. Please don't attribute selfish motives without hearing people out. It isn't very kind. I think your opinion could have been stated more diplomatically, such as: "I think that planning one's own funeral could easily, if one was not careful, lead to a funeral that did not take the needs of the mourners into consideration."
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--Hugh Latimer, October 16, 1555
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