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  #551  
Old 02-23-2012, 11:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattHughesRocks View Post
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Call your hot friend and make me a sandwich.
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  #552  
Old 02-23-2012, 02:49 PM
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I have a better one but I can't post it. PM me if you want to hear it.
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  #553  
Old 02-23-2012, 05:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by County Mike View Post
Call your hot friend and make me a sammich.
Fixed!
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Rejoice ever more. 1 Thessalonians 5:16
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  #554  
Old 02-23-2012, 06:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flo View Post
Fixed!
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  #555  
Old 02-27-2012, 10:12 AM
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Norman and his wife live in Michigan. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today.
>You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."




Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.


>A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."



>Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.



>The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..........." then the electric power goes out, and Norman's wife is
>very upset.



>With a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"



>With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Norman says,
>Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
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  #556  
Old 02-27-2012, 12:54 PM
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  #557  
Old 02-27-2012, 11:06 PM
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  #558  
Old 03-07-2012, 12:40 PM
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Cowboy:
GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE.

CASHIER:

DO YOU NEED A BAG?

Cowboy:

NAH.. SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!!
:
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  #559  
Old 03-07-2012, 12:52 PM
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If she has an ugly face but a hot body, put a flag over her face and do it for the glory.
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  #560  
Old 03-09-2012, 12:18 PM
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After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'

The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go give it a try?'

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, and spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

He saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blond took aim, shot the
creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blond struggled with the gator.

Then, rolling her eyes, she screamed in frustration . . .
"Son of a bitch!! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"
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