Joke Thread - Page 55 - Matt-Hughes.com Official Forums

Bonnie · #**541** 02-16-2012, 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flo

I love these! I only got part of #2 and I got #4 but that's it!

I only got #1.

Quote:

Originally Posted by flo

PWNED!!!

VCURamFan · #**542** 02-16-2012, 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neezar

ANSWERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM. RIDDLE #5 IS AMAZING. IT
SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN AND STALLS ALZHEIMER'S FOR
YEARS!!
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose
between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires,
the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and
the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water
for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they
both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and
grey when you throw it away ?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the
words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how
quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It
looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was
wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly
unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still
may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you
might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

**THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:

1 The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years
are dead. That one was easy, right?

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her
husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held
under water; and hung).

3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday,
today, and tomorrow!

5. The letter e, which is the most common letter used in
the English language, does not appear even once in the
paragraph.

I got 1, 2, 4 & 5, but couldn't figure out 3. My only shot in the dark was maybe "lipstick" 'cause the case is black (when you buy it), it's red when you use it, but then I didn't know what color the interior was when empty (grey?).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neezar

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant.
>
>
>
> The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'
>
> Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
>
> However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
>
> She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?
>
> The bartender replied,
>
> 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'
>
>
>
> 'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.
>
> So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
>
> After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. !
>
> She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
>
> 'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?'
>
> 'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.
>
>
>
> 'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Hahahahaha, awesome!!!

County Mike · #**543** 02-16-2012, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neezar

1 The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years
are dead. That one was easy, right?

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her
husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held
under water; and hung).

3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday,
today, and tomorrow!

5. The letter e, which is the most common letter used in
the English language, does not appear even once in the
paragraph.
[/FONT]

Nice. I didn't get number 5. Not sure I ever would have noticed the missing "e".

VCURamFan · #**544** 02-22-2012, 01:21 PM

Y'all can thank my dad for this one:

Quote:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, some Americans (including a southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans walk into a fine restaurant ...

"I'm sorry," said the manager, as he scrutinized the group one by one, and then barred their entrance saying, "Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai."