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  #391  
Old 01-08-2012, 04:27 PM
bradwright
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Originally Posted by Bonnie View Post


I think when people want to play that card on you, Nate, it's a weak one. You don't have to be a parent in order to have common sense, know right from wrong, or in order to voice your opinion or view on subjects that involve parents and/or children.
actually i think you are wrong Bonnie...its the same as everything else in life,
its hard to make a qualified statement on something you haven't experienced...you can always say what you think
you might do in any given situation but until you experience it first hand you will never really know how you will react.
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  #392  
Old 01-08-2012, 04:38 PM
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actually i think you are wrong Bonnie...its the same as everything else in life,
its hard to make a qualified statement on something you haven't experienced...you can always say what you think
you might do in any given situation but until you experience it first hand you will never really know how you will react.
So, if I say that it's wrong for a parent to punch their child in the face, is my opinion invalid because I don't have kids? What about a parent who sexually molests their child? Am I not allowed to have an opinion on that because I have no kids?

Of course, those are "common sense" examples that everyone should know are wrong (I'd hope).

However, where do you draw the line on what I am supposed to understand as common sense and what I can "never really know" because I've never been a parent? Or is it just whatever you happen to disagree with that I'm unqualified to speak out about?
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  #393  
Old 01-08-2012, 05:45 PM
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So, if I say that it's wrong for a parent to punch their child in the face, is my opinion invalid because I don't have kids? What about a parent who sexually molests their child? Am I not allowed to have an opinion on that because I have no kids?

Of course, those are "common sense" examples that everyone should know are wrong (I'd hope).

However, where do you draw the line on what I am supposed to understand as common sense and what I can "never really know" because I've never been a parent? Or is it just whatever you happen to disagree with that I'm unqualified to speak out about?
i didn't say you couldn't comment...i said you may say you would do things a certain way and then when you actually found yourself in the situation you might change your mind.

the reason i say that is because without children you have no emotional attachment and its easy to draw a line in the sand and say you would never cross it.
not so easy when your own children are involved.
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  #394  
Old 01-08-2012, 07:13 PM
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i didn't say you couldn't comment...i said you may say you would do things a certain way and then when you actually found yourself in the situation you might change your mind.

the reason i say that is because without children you have no emotional attachment and its easy to draw a line in the sand and say you would never cross it.
not so easy when your own children are involved.
so you're saying it's better to get emotionally involved and then comment based off emotions rather than intellect?

and also, jesus, paul and peter are unqualified to speak on marriage or children?
and jesus can't comment on sin? cause he never committed it?


asking a parent how to parent kids is kinda like asking barack who he is going to vote for....
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  #395  
Old 01-08-2012, 07:31 PM
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so you're saying it's better to get emotionally involved and then comment based off emotions rather than intellect?

and also, jesus, paul and peter are unqualified to speak on marriage or children?
and jesus can't comment on sin? cause he never committed it?


asking a parent how to parent kids is kinda like asking barack who he is going to vote for....
no adam thats not what i'm say..

i'm saying its hard to comment on what a person would do until they are in that situation because they have nothing invested in the outcome...
if you dont have any kids then how could you ever say how you would react in certain situations ?

bringing Jesus,Paul and Peter into this conversation is just grasping at straws...
this is about us in the here and now.

thats quite a comparison about Barack and parenting...so you are saying you have no idea how to parent your children then?

Last edited by bradwright; 01-08-2012 at 07:42 PM.
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  #396  
Old 01-08-2012, 08:16 PM
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asking a parent how to parent kids is kinda like asking barack who he is going to vote for....
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  #397  
Old 01-08-2012, 10:43 PM
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Originally Posted by bradwright View Post
actually i think you are wrong Bonnie...its the same as everything else in life,
its hard to make a qualified statement on something you haven't experienced...you can always say what you think
you might do in any given situation but until you experience it first hand you will never really know how you will react
.
I understand what you're saying and I do agree with that.

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Originally Posted by bradwright View Post
i didn't say you couldn't comment...i said you may say you would do things a certain way and then when you actually found yourself in the situation you might change your mind.

the reason i say that is because without children you have no emotional attachment and its easy to draw a line in the sand and say you would never cross it.
not so easy when your own children are involved.
Adam has children. Wait, I know what you're going to say, he's the exception. Just teas'n ya, Brad.

I can't argue with what you say, but on the flip side, that same emotional attachment can make it more difficult for us to do the right thing and draw that line in the sand. Love is a powerful emotion especially where children are concerned, but it can be a detriment when it blinds us to objectivity.

When Nate and Adam started talking about Santa and parents and kids, I think for a lot of us, objectivity was the first thing to go out the window, emotion was totally driving the train.

I know my reaction was visceral, "NO! Not Santa, Nate! Say it ain't so!" I totally wanted to reject what they were saying. I didn't want to believe that playing Santa up to the little ones could be a bad or harmful thing, but after thinking about what Nate and Adam were really talking about...lying and trust and what God commands us to do, and then reading Denise's real-life experience/delimma with her son, I've been reconsidering how I originally looked at things and how I can do things differently.
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  #398  
Old 01-09-2012, 12:45 AM
adamt adamt is offline
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no adam thats not what i'm say..

i'm saying its hard to comment on what a person would do until they are in that situation because they have nothing invested in the outcome...
if you dont have any kids then how could you ever say how you would react in certain situations ?

bringing Jesus,Paul and Peter into this conversation is just grasping at straws...
this is about us in the here and now.

thats quite a comparison about Barack and parenting...so you are saying you have no idea how to parent your children then?

while i don't think it is grasping at straws to give examples of people who were never married or parents but are experts on parenting and marriage, i will let it die, because I don't want to go down those rabbit trails again....

well, i at least am going to refrain from putting words in your mouth....


i don't understand your conclusion about my barack remark, i was merely meaning that barack thinks he is the right man for the job, so he will vote for himself, and we as parents all think we are doing it the right way thus we will do it the way we want to....



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Originally Posted by Bonnie View Post
I understand what you're saying and I do agree with that.



Adam has children. Wait, I know what you're going to say, he's the exception. Just teas'n ya, Brad.

I can't argue with what you say, but on the flip side, that same emotional attachment can make it more difficult for us to do the right thing and draw that line in the sand. Love is a powerful emotion especially where children are concerned, but it can be a detriment when it blinds us to objectivity.

When Nate and Adam started talking about Santa and parents and kids, I think for a lot of us, objectivity was the first thing to go out the window, emotion was totally driving the train.

I know my reaction was visceral, "NO! Not Santa, Nate! Say it ain't so!" I totally wanted to reject what they were saying. I didn't want to believe that playing Santa up to the little ones could be a bad or harmful thing, but after thinking about what Nate and Adam were really talking about...lying and trust and what God commands us to do, and then reading Denise's real-life experience/delimma with her son, I've been reconsidering how I originally looked at things and how I can do things differently.
+1

we should all aspire to be like this, I know this is how i want to be about issues.....because in the end, the very minimum you can do, is to say you have made a well thought out decision and came to an educated decision, and that is very inspiring for me, not just in something like this issue, but in most all issues

the worst thing we can do is to just do whatever everyone else does, just because it is the thing to do
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  #399  
Old 01-13-2012, 01:26 PM
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Jonlion Jonlion is offline
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I think I will tell my children the "lie" of Santa Claus but also do my best to help them understand what christmas is really all about.

To the original question, I celebrate Christmas and will continue to but as a Christian remind myself of what it actually means.

The thing is about christmas is that for us (my work and church) it presents excellent evangelical opportunities as people's interests are pricked at that time.

So we organise carol services and try to invite people along, we sing, we celebrate, and in amongst it our pastor delivers a message on the true meaning of christmas.

I think it would serve to alienate ourselves and look antagonistic if we didnt celebrate it and deny great opportunities. we must serve as beacons to others as to what christmas is really about.
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  #400  
Old 01-14-2012, 03:27 PM
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I think I will tell my children the "lie" of Santa Claus but also do my best to help them understand what christmas is really all about.

To the original question, I celebrate Christmas and will continue to but as a Christian remind myself of what it actually means.

The thing is about christmas is that for us (my work and church) it presents excellent evangelical opportunities as people's interests are pricked at that time.

So we organise carol services and try to invite people along, we sing, we celebrate, and in amongst it our pastor delivers a message on the true meaning of christmas.

I think it would serve to alienate ourselves and look antagonistic if we didnt celebrate it and deny great opportunities. we must serve as beacons to others as to what christmas is really about.
HEY!!! I havent seen you in ages! are you married and living in the US now
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