Love Languages

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84

I tried to take that quiz once to see what my love languages were. It was sad because about 90% of the questions I couldn't even answer for about myself.

If there were a 6th lanaguage for simplicity that would be mine. Don't make things so dang difficult and I'm good.

Ah, so it’s your fault. He thinks that what you need is someone to give to, so that’s what he’s providing. Try going down the list and demanding stuff, see which ones work for you. Train yourself (and him) to avoid number 6.

I’m just saying this from a guy’s perspective, if my wife asks for something I’ll do it, but if she doesn’t say anything I assume everything’s cool. If you want something to be different, it’s better for everyone to come out and say so.

Originally Posted by Dethbob

I’m just saying this from a guy’s perspective, if my wife asks for something I’ll do it, but if she doesn’t say anything I assume everything’s cool. If you want something to be different, it’s better for everyone to come out and say so.

Saying so doesn't always work.

Picture this: Someone who has quality time as their #1 need. Then they want #2 as service. But they need #1 for 25 hours of the day. And they have so many things under #2 they want done for them that you need 25 hours in a day to do them all. That is a impossible need that someone is expecting another person to fill. Like you said earlier, only I don't think it is they are looking from something from a person that it needed from God. I think these people need to just accept that love doesn't mean someone has to cater to your love languages around the clock. Some people really are needy to the extent that it drives the other person to forget what they even need to feel loved. Then you end up with 1 person who demands way to much to feel loved and one who wants to give up because the impossible is expected. Or so I think.

Originally Posted by Miss Foxy

Ugg.. I can't stand needy people.. That would drive me away.........................fast...

ditto!!! my husband is already so needy. always needing me to wash clothes, do dishes, clean house, make his sandwiches etc i couldn't stand it if he were mentally needy.

my brother is an emotional wreck and even cries to my sister in law when he doesn't get attention that he thinks he needs to make him feel good about himself. i'm sorry but when i see him , in my head he's always wearing pink panties. (he's like 6ft 3 in and about 280)

Originally Posted by Twinsmama

ditto!!! my husband is already so needy. always needing me to wash clothes, do dishes, clean house, make his sandwiches etc i couldn't stand it if he were mentally needy.

my brother is an emotional wreck and even cries to my sister in law when he doesn't get attention that he thinks he needs to make him feel good about himself. i'm sorry but when i see him , in my head he's always wearing pink panties. (he's like 6ft 3 in and about 280)

LOL.. I have been told I am unemotional and cold. I just think MEN need to act like men. If I don't sit there nagging to you as a woman->man I can't handle man-->woman. I have no patience..I need to feel he is strong.. Mentally and physically.

I guess to me the concepts that make loving languages work well in a relationship would require that both people realize the others love languages and realize to what extent the other is capabale of filling the need. If you expect someone to give you more quality time than they have to give you then it won't work. And if you only care about having your own needs filled first before you are willing to consider the other person's it won't work.

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84

Saying so doesn't always work.

Picture this: Someone who has quality time as their #1 need. Then they want #2 as service. But they need #1 for 25 hours of the day. And they have so many things under #2 they want done for them that you need 25 hours in a day to do them all. That is a impossible need that someone is expecting another person to fill. Like you said earlier, only I don't think it is they are looking from something from a person that it needed from God. I think these people need to just accept that love doesn't mean someone has to cater to your love languages around the clock. Some people really are needy to the extent that it drives the other person to forget what they even need to feel loved. Then you end up with 1 person who demands way to much to feel loved and one who wants to give up because the impossible is expected. Or so I think.

sounds like 25 hrs of quality time a day is because some one wants to run your life and uses quality time as an excuse. jealousy comes to mind. like not wanting you to get out of their sight. I'm not trying to be rude but this person is needy and controling I can tell by the first part. Then for them to require so much from a person that that person can't even think about themselves is ridiculous.

I know it is corny but they need to love themselves first. It kinda sounds like the person needs a mama. Love me, Love me , do everything for me. Relationships are never 50/50 but that extreme is ridiculous.

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84

I guess to me the concepts that make loving languages work well in a relationship would require that both people realize the others love languages and realize to what extent the other is capabale of filling the need. If you expect someone to give you more quality time than they have to give you then it won't work. And if you only care about having your own needs filled first before you are willing to consider the other person's it won't work.

You clearly have a big heart Bama..Good thread makes me realize I need a lot of work..

Originally Posted by Miss Foxy

LOL.. I have been told I am unemotional and cold. I just think MEN need to act like men. If I don't sit there nagging to you as a woman->man I can't handle man-->woman. I have no patience..I need to feel he is strong.. Mentally and physically.

Wow are you my sister I need a man to be my rock. I totally know what you are saying!

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84

I guess to me the concepts that make loving languages work well in a relationship would require that both people realize the others love languages and realize to what extent the other is capabale of filling the need. If you expect someone to give you more quality time than they have to give you then it won't work. And if you only care about having your own needs filled first before you are willing to consider the other person's it won't work.

well said!!