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  #21  
Old 04-01-2011, 03:37 PM
rearnakedchoke
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Originally Posted by Neezar View Post
What is gat clapping?
lol .. pistol whipping ... lol .. well in the way that i used it ... but it could also mean shoot a gun .. that i did not mean ..
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  #22  
Old 04-01-2011, 04:06 PM
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Like you have never rebelled before....at least she is the one offering forgiveness...someone comes to ask what they should do in a difficult situation that could have got them killed...and all you do is blame them.

Why didnt you even bother to actually answer the question posed.
She asked for a biblical perspective, I gave her one. If she had been blameless in this situation, then she could have reported the incident to the police without fear of recrimination. Obviously she was not blameless and so she paid the price for what appears to be rebellion against her parents (based on her own words). The biblical perspective is that she need to accept her own sinfulness before she can ever expect to forgive someone else for their wrongdoing.

Romans 1:28-32
Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know Godís righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

She needs to understand that she is to blame first and foremost and, if she had actually been shot and killed by the robber, then she would have simply received what she deserved in the eyes of GOD. The sooner she understands that, the sooner she can truly forgive this "friend" who betrayed her.

Until then it's probably best to avoid this person.

Again, this is based solely on the vague information provided in this thread so far.

Bamagrits, if you haven't discussed this entire situation with your mother and explained to her everything that you did while you were "hanging out around the wrong folks," then you need to do that before you do anything else.
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  #23  
Old 04-01-2011, 04:42 PM
BamaGrits84
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It sounds like there was some disobedience and rebellion against your parents involved here. So, thinking of this biblically, this entire incident was you simply reaping the rewards of your own actions and poor choices.

Yes, the guy was wrong for posing as your friend then setting you up. And yes the other guy was wrong for robbing you. But, the simple fact that you never reported the crime, for fear of incriminating yourself, suggests that you really brought the entire situation upon yourself.
I can understand what you are saying, but consider the context. A 16 year old lies to her mom about where she was going and the "reward" for lying is feeling the cold metal of a pistol on her head? I learned my lesson by all means, but my fear of telling my mom was much more rooted in not getting the car I wanted at the time.

I relate what you have stated to blaming the victim. If a teenager is out past curfew and gets seriously injured by a drunk driver should it all be chalked up to "well she should have been home on time". No. Not at all. It is not ok someone to drive drunk at any hour and the teen is not at fault because she was on the roads later than she should have been. Likewise it was not ok for me to be robbed just because I wasn't at the friend's house I told my mom I was going to.
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  #24  
Old 04-01-2011, 04:49 PM
BamaGrits84
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Originally Posted by Twinsmama View Post
telling him you forgive him is going to be beneficial to who?
Well my husband really thought I should do it as example. I guess he thought maybe by me offering unsought forgiveness maybe it would have an impact on this guy. There is no value in it for me really which is why I didn't do it. And I really didn't feel God telling me to do it so I just let is go for then though my friends all insist that God was telling me to do it because the kid's last name that was batting at the time this all happened was Church. I was thinking is was more of God saying "Hey remeber that message 2 weeks ago in church about controlling your tongue? Your not there yet so calm down."
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  #25  
Old 04-01-2011, 05:04 PM
Chuck
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Originally Posted by BamaGrits84 View Post
I put this under Christianity because my final decision will be sought in scriptures so maybe someone of you have some to share, but please comment even if it is just "What I think" or "what I would do". When I was 16 years old I was robbed at gun point by a rather huge and thuggist man. I mean pistol to my head robbed. And I knew I was set up by this guy that was supposed to be my friend. Well last night my husband spots this not a friend after all guy at the ball field my children now play at with a girl and a baby. A few months before I saw this man at Autozone and I was so frozen I didn't even say anything but I've always wanted to confront him. So last night I had a chance and I froze AGAIN. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to say or even if I should. I don't really feel angry and don't hold anything aagainst him, but my husband kind of thought I should tell the guy hey I've been forgiven by God so I forgive you. To me it is just like hey you did something very not cool and so I'm good with never seeing you again kind of thing. My very dear Godly friend was there too and she even offer to go approach the man with me. But I didn't because I knew if I said anything I really wouldn't be getting anything from it, I would be doing it to embarass him and that would make me wrong. But that leads me to this, if I happen to see him again up there (which is likely considering whoever he was watching is in my son's league) and I can catch him away from a large group, should I confront him?
Do you want to tell him you've forgiven him for your benefit or for his? Sometimes taking a close look at our motivation to do things helps put things in perspective.

If I were you I wouldn't worry so much about what you say to him as much as how you act towards him. Words are cheap. Sure you could tell him you've forgiven him but why not simply show him?

The next time you see him just show him the love of Christ within you. Be nice. Be friendly. Say "Hi" and tell him his daughter is beautiful..That alone will send a message. Give the Holy Spirit an opportunity to work on this man's heart. The simple act of you being nice to him is a great start. The World expects you to be angry, to hold a grudge and that's probably what he expects as well. I have no doubt that if you're simply nice to him the Holy Spirit will provide the right opportunity for you to share your forgiveness but much more importantly HIS opportunity for forgiveness through Jesus Christ.

My thoughts anyway........
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  #26  
Old 04-01-2011, 05:15 PM
BamaGrits84
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Originally Posted by NateR View Post
She asked for a biblical perspective, I gave her one. If she had been blameless in this situation, then she could have reported the incident to the police without fear of recrimination. Obviously she was not blameless and so she paid the price for what appears to be rebellion against her parents (based on her own words). The biblical perspective is that she need to accept her own sinfulness before she can ever expect to forgive someone else for their wrongdoing.

Romans 1:28-32
Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

She needs to understand that she is to blame first and foremost and, if she had actually been shot and killed by the robber, then she would have simply received what she deserved in the eyes of GOD. The sooner she understands that, the sooner she can truly forgive this "friend" who betrayed her.

Until then it's probably best to avoid this person.

Again, this is based solely on the vague information provided in this thread so far.

Bamagrits, if you haven't discussed this entire situation with your mother and explained to her everything that you did while you were "hanging out around the wrong folks," then you need to do that before you do anything else.
I never continued to do anything. And that passage is about a church (or maybe nation) completely turning from God. They were "haters of God" (NASB). I made a mistake. My teenage years were more prodigal son like. I don't discount my stupidity. It was there, but not justification for someone to rob me. Not getting the car I wanted for continued stupidity was my "reward".

I did tell my mom a few weeks later. Even then she had no interest in calling the police. That really is another topic all together.

I really don't think I have anything to gain from confronting him and I certainly am not afraid of him. He was a coward then and likely still is. And based on the fact that I've seen him wear a work shirt for a reputable business and with a young child at a family event I would hope he has changed from his ways. I think the forgiveness in my heart is enough. There is nothing I can find in scriptures that says I need to express my forgiveness verbally to him. I think next time I see him I'll just give him a smile - he knows I know what he did to me, I think a smile says "I've forgiven and I'm over it." Of course a pistol permit says "If you ever try to mess with me again you won't get away with it again. You'll be lucky to keep your knee caps." (j/j!)
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  #27  
Old 04-01-2011, 05:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Twinsmama View Post
If he wants forgiveness don't you think he will ask for it? She has no idea how he will respond. If he isn't changed he may get mad at her for embarrassing him and no telling what he will do.

I've never been one to say I know you are sorry so I'll forgive you. If I'm sorry I'll tell you and if you forgive me you can tell me then. To me it's kinda a slap in the face if someone were to say I forgive you because I know you did something wrong. Who makes them able to go around pointing out who is doing wrong things and who isn't.

telling him you forgive him is only going to make yourself feel better. you should have done something then. that could have been more beneficial to possible save other from going through what you did. telling him you forgive him is going to be beneficial to who?
Its often not just beneficial to him. It might be beneficial to her aswell. I know from my own personal experience of working with someone who drove me to the edge (and I mean contemplation of suicide edge) that he would never admit what he did and never appologise.

but I also knew that I harboured a terrible grudge against him for what he did...and that I had to not only tell him he was forgiven...but actually appologise to him for holding it against him...in the end, the bitterness would only make it worse FOR ME...not for him...he didnt care.

I came to that conclusion after watching a film called "Doing Hard Time" about a Father whose Son got killed by someone, and how that person got such a crap sentance, that the Father decided to commit his own crime (assulting a police officer) to get put inside to kill the man himself. He got his chance...but in the end they both forgave each other...then as they were being escorted away, the Father was killed, by someone who had been put inside to kill him for his having assulted the police officer. It became clear that it is the inability to forgive that causes more harm to the wronged person, then the person who wronged them.

The fact she needs to ask on this forum, and is seeking an answer, is reason enough to realize that she may also benefit from this encounter.

heres the trailor for the film btw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUtc5_NS77A
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  #28  
Old 04-01-2011, 05:38 PM
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She needs to understand that she is to blame first and foremost and, if she had actually been shot and killed by the robber, then she would have simply received what she deserved in the eyes of GOD. .
thats a mute point...since we are all worthy of death simply for being sinners. that doesnt make it legitamate to kill...or mean the church can condone those who do.

I know they take a slightly stricter view on that in some parts of the church...but if you want to enact the Levitical Law about those who should be stoned or hanged for what they do...first you need to start making your grain and peace offerings
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  #29  
Old 04-01-2011, 05:58 PM
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Originally Posted by BamaGrits84 View Post
I can understand what you are saying, but consider the context. A 16 year old lies to her mom about where she was going and the "reward" for lying is feeling the cold metal of a pistol on her head? I learned my lesson by all means, but my fear of telling my mom was much more rooted in not getting the car I wanted at the time.

I relate what you have stated to blaming the victim. If a teenager is out past curfew and gets seriously injured by a drunk driver should it all be chalked up to "well she should have been home on time". No. Not at all. It is not ok someone to drive drunk at any hour and the teen is not at fault because she was on the roads later than she should have been. Likewise it was not ok for me to be robbed just because I wasn't at the friend's house I told my mom I was going to.
It's not about blaming the victim, it's about reaping what you sow. In Deuteronomy 21:18-21, GOD commands that a disobedient son be stoned to death. Do you really believe that GOD has relaxed His standards for obedience? Not at all. Children who disobey their parents still deserve to die, but thankfully (for ALL of us) Jesus took that punishment upon Himself for us.
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  #30  
Old 04-01-2011, 06:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Tyburn View Post
thats a mute point...since we are all worthy of death simply for being sinners. that doesnt make it legitamate to kill...or mean the church can condone those who do.

I know they take a slightly stricter view on that in some parts of the church...but if you want to enact the Levitical Law about those who should be stoned or hanged for what they do...first you need to start making your grain and peace offerings
You've missed my point completely.
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