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  #11  
Old 07-27-2010, 09:48 PM
adamt adamt is offline
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Originally Posted by BamaGrits84 View Post
I don't know. I don't think there is a majic number. And I've stood up for them when other people have made comments about it being "too soon". I don't think that's what bothers me. Men and more likely to move on quickly because they often feel the need a woman to run their home or keep the family together. So it's really not the timing to me. It's hard for me to even be in my sister's house. Much less her church seeing her husband get remarried.

I probably will go just so my nephew's don't think I'm one of those people who thinks this is wrong. I want them to respect their stepmother so I think it's important they see me - the person closet to their mom - being supportive.
that's a good thought and all, but i don't think it is gonna happen,

imho----- he's being a stupid, greedy, self centered moron

he's is only setting his family up for heartache and hardship

he needs to focus 100% on his boys and get married when they are 18 and mature self sufficient adults and no longer need him, they need him now more than ever and he is worried about getting married!!!!?!?!?!!

i know it sucks that his wife died, but he has no excuse whatsoever to worry about his needs before his boys' needs, and they need 200% of their daddy, not the 50% leftover from his new marriage, and those boys will NEVER respect that woman, they may treat her with respect, but they won't respect her, but i'll bet they won't even treat her respect when the newness wears off and they get a little hormones from adolescence pulsing through their already traumatized systems

wish him good luck, tell him he'll need it, and i hope the sex is worth putting his boys emotional needs on the back burner
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  #12  
Old 07-27-2010, 11:02 PM
Miss Foxy
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Originally Posted by adamt View Post
that's a good thought and all, but i don't think it is gonna happen,

imho----- he's being a stupid, greedy, self centered moron

he's is only setting his family up for heartache and hardship

he needs to focus 100% on his boys and get married when they are 18 and mature self sufficient adults and no longer need him, they need him now more than ever and he is worried about getting married!!!!?!?!?!!

i know it sucks that his wife died, but he has no excuse whatsoever to worry about his needs before his boys' needs, and they need 200% of their daddy, not the 50% leftover from his new marriage, and those boys will NEVER respect that woman, they may treat her with respect, but they won't respect her, but i'll bet they won't even treat her respect when the newness wears off and they get a little hormones from adolescence pulsing through their already traumatized systems

wish him good luck, tell him he'll need it, and i hope the sex is worth putting his boys emotional needs on the back burner
+1!!
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  #13  
Old 07-28-2010, 05:36 AM
BoneDoc
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Went through a lot of counseling after my divorce. My pastor, my Christian counselor, my brother who is a pastor and my best buddy who is an evangelist - all agreed that there should be 2 years of no dating so you can seek Gods will and gaining strength and stability for kids and youself after a spouse dies. 3 years after a divorce if you can imagine.

The time helps the wounds heal and prevents the rebound and % of 2nd divorces. Obviously easier said than done. Be there for your nephews. I have a feeling you will be the rock they need.
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  #14  
Old 07-28-2010, 01:58 PM
Twinsmama
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Originally Posted by adamt View Post
that's a good thought and all, but i don't think it is gonna happen,

imho----- he's being a stupid, greedy, self centered moron

he's is only setting his family up for heartache and hardship

he needs to focus 100% on his boys and get married when they are 18 and mature self sufficient adults and no longer need him, they need him now more than ever and he is worried about getting married!!!!?!?!?!!

i know it sucks that his wife died, but he has no excuse whatsoever to worry about his needs before his boys' needs, and they need 200% of their daddy, not the 50% leftover from his new marriage, and those boys will NEVER respect that woman, they may treat her with respect, but they won't respect her, but i'll bet they won't even treat her respect when the newness wears off and they get a little hormones from adolescence pulsing through their already traumatized systems

wish him good luck, tell him he'll need it, and i hope the sex is worth putting his boys emotional needs on the back burner
I totally agree...but he's still getting married and she should put his stupidness aside and be their for the boys. I was telling you about my nephew yesterday and last night he came over and was eating supper w/ us. I didn't say anything about this but just out of no where he told me his mom broke up with her boyfriend. He she was on a date with someone else. He told me he didn't want her to bring any more guys home. He is a tough boy and doesn't talk about feelings much so I know it really bothers him. Like I said he is 16. He's old enough to see what she is doing isn't right. He wouldn't tell just anyone that. Since we have always been there for him he knows he can talk to us about his moms stupid behavior and we don't let that affect how we act towards them.

I'm positive this will not be the last stupid thing he does. At least it sounds like they have you thinking about their best interests.
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