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  #41  
Old 06-30-2010, 07:06 PM
BamaGrits84
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Originally Posted by County Mike View Post
Exactly. Suck it up and get the job done. No prizes for the losers. Yes, we keep score and somebody will lose.

Years ago my nephews played T-Ball. They didn't have 3 outs. Each kid got a chance to bat once per inning. They didn't keep score.

At that age (5 or 6 maybe) I can understand each kid getting one at bat per inning. However, they should still keep track of runs and declare one team a winner. Instill that pride and goal-oriented effort early.

You can bet your butt that Hailey will be taught to try hard and she'll know that winning is better than losing and it's worth working hard for.
OK that drives me crazy! My son played soccer at the Y this year - he's 5. No score was kept. Well I kept score but the Y didn't. I mean what does that teach the kids? If you work hard it's for nothing? If you don't try hard you're equal to the kids that did? I can't stand it! None of the mini soccer leagues keep score. It's stupid! We have a generation of pansies being rasied now and my kids are gonna end up kicking some pansy butt because no way I'm i'm teaching my kids fairness is more important that hard work! The government forces enough of that on us! My word tell your kid to suck it up and get over it. No sucessful person has ever gotten there because someone cared so much about their feelings they gave them something they didn't earn or derserve. Shesh!
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  #42  
Old 06-30-2010, 07:59 PM
BamaGrits84
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Originally Posted by Vizion View Post
Teach a child that duty does not always come with reward is far more reinforcing in the long term.
Ok I agree with this but I spoil my kids. I don't think their is anything wrong with rewarding kids but I don't think it's something that should not be done every time they do something "good". My kids know I do things for them because I enjoy doing for them, not because they always deserve it or have earned it. Maybe that's the exact wrong way to be - I don't know. But I don't think rewarding or not reward your child will make or break them as a functioning member of society nor do I think it indicates to them if you love them or not. Dr. James Dodson once said we ruin our kids when we make them think they are the center of the family because they grow up into the real world where no one cares about what they want really. So i frequently tell my kids they haven't earned it but i'm doing it because i love them. and they know if i don't do something it's not because i don't love them - it's because i think our money could be better spent or it's simply not something they need (like toys that make too much noise or have way too many pieces ). Bottom line we all parent differently. Yes there are bad parents out there but rewarding a kid or not rewarding is not usually a way to determine they type of parent someone is.
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  #43  
Old 06-30-2010, 09:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Neezar View Post
Not this parent.

I bought the board game 'Sorry'. The first time we played my kids cried the first time they got sent home and quit the second, crying even harder. After a few times of this they cried but kept playing. My mom and sister think I am just terrible for not letting them win. Sorry (no pun intended, lol) but life won't let you win either. When they are hurt or need mothering then I am right there loving every minute of it. But I feel I am doing them a disservice if I don't teach them how to take disappointments in life and get BACK UP and MOVE ON!

We now sometimes play a full game of 'Sorry' with no crying but determination to get that pawn back on the board!
I should have said "Some parents." Not all. I'm guilty of making a generalization there! Sorry about that.

Unfortunately the loudest parents tend to get their way......hence the reason why I have to have a million prizes on party days..........

But it sounds to me like everyone here is striking the right balance of compassion tempered with reality. That's life..........
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  #44  
Old 07-01-2010, 12:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Vizion View Post
I heard a teacher once shout to a kid who was exclaiming "I won! I won!" (about a race he had just won), she corrected him with "Don't say "I won", say "I had fun!"

What a p***** thing to teach a kid. There is nothing wrong with winning or losing and having the fortitude to admit it.
Oh, that's pathetic. How do they expect these children to cope in the real world of competition and just plain everyday life? I wonder how they explain away the Olympic Gold medals?

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Originally Posted by DonnaMaria View Post
Parents are unwilling to have their children disappointed and upset. I have gotten in trouble for only having one prize for each game at holiday parties. Now I am required to do games where everyone wins all the time. ............
That is truly sad - we have to have politically correct games now. I feel for you, DonnaMaria, and I would guess it does no good to protest. It just makes me glad I grew up in an era where people making school policy acknowledged the fact that there were winners and losers. We got wacked on the knuckles by Sister Mary Discipline if we acted up. We were taught to respect our elders. Oh, we also played the apparently-extremely-dangerous kickball.

Rant over.
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  #45  
Old 07-01-2010, 12:07 AM
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Er, sorry to go off-topic but...

how did the singing performance go, DonnaMaria?
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  #46  
Old 07-01-2010, 02:53 AM
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Originally Posted by DonnaMaria View Post
I should have said "Some parents." Not all. I'm guilty of making a generalization there! Sorry about that.

Unfortunately the loudest parents tend to get their way......hence the reason why I have to have a million prizes on party days..........

But it sounds to me like everyone here is striking the right balance of compassion tempered with reality. That's life..........
No need for apology. I was pretty sure that you knew I wouldn't be that way.
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  #47  
Old 07-01-2010, 10:26 PM
DonnaMaria
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Originally Posted by flo View Post
Er, sorry to go off-topic but...

how did the singing performance go, DonnaMaria?
It went really well Flo! Thank you for asking! I will post pics as soon as I can but the video won't be available for another few weeks. It was professionally taped so no one else was allowed to video tape anything. Sheesh! And the CD cost me 40 bucks! I hope it's worth it! Luckily I didn't mess up the night that the video was made!

And I had a few preschool students and their parents come and attend the show! That really made me feel good!
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  #48  
Old 07-01-2010, 10:31 PM
DonnaMaria
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Originally Posted by Neezar View Post
No need for apology. I was pretty sure that you knew I wouldn't be that way.
I did know.......but I shouldn't have made that sweeping generalization anyway. I'm glad that you understood that I wasn't talking about you or anyone else on here.

Truly, the parents that I am speaking of are few and far between..........but boy can they cause a ruckus!
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