Originally Posted by cheachea
I think the enemy(devil) wants us to be afraid so we don't do anything when those thoughts come to us, because he knows fear will keep us bound, But we know that the Lord Jesus Christ doesn't want us to fear evil. Greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world. God is greater than our hearts, so when ever our hearts condem us all we have to do is remember that God is greater than our hearts and that He loves us.
I have a spirit of fear, it has to be said. I am nervous, anxious...skeeeerd
I dont fear the sorts of things usual people do. I dont fear losing my job, I dont fear dying, I dont fear being attacked, I dont fear war....Quite the opposite.
What I actually fear is living. I fear exceeding my potential. I know my mind is capable of great things, and that frightens me, I might get in over my head. I also fear GOD, and I dont mean in the healthy GODfearing way. I mean I am also frightened of Him because I am well aware of how small and sinful I am, compared to how Great and Holy he is. I worry about letting Him in to much sometimes. I worry that if I let myself go, I'll never get myself back. I worry about the change that he might be able to do...change that could completely distroy who and what I think I am.
Rich Franklin told me that if it all goes the shape of the pear, it doesnt matter, because he is left with nothing less then what GOD gave him to start with. Anything else is excess....But Rich Franklin doesnt realize that by taking that attitude he cant lose that much. Its a safeguard that I dont have. I cant see myself well from GODs perspective, the world still sadly matters to me.
If I failed, it would ruin me. Do you understand? If I screw up, I can never forgive myself. This is precisely why I got my Budgie. A constant reminder to try and shift my view from what counts to me, what I think is worldly important...over to how GOD sees it. That I am both nothing on my own, yet everything with Him.
I dont know. I went to Bilton Woods today. There is this place I visit when I dont know what to do. When something needs to give. When life becomes Existentially impossible. Its a long and ardious walk. Forty Five mins as the crow flies to the start of the track that ;eads to the revene. Then about two hours walking through the forrest. Its a place I call "Sanctum" a patch of ground, which to me, is Holy. A place that I can pray and meditate. Its surrounded by high cliffs, and a thick covering of trees, and a bench that overlooks a silent bend in the river.
Seven and a Half hours the round trip took me today