Originally Posted by Twinsmama
If he wants forgiveness don't you think he will ask for it? She has no idea how he will respond. If he isn't changed he may get mad at her for embarrassing him and no telling what he will do.
I've never been one to say I know you are sorry so I'll forgive you. If I'm sorry I'll tell you and if you forgive me you can tell me then. To me it's kinda a slap in the face if someone were to say I forgive you because I know you did something wrong. Who makes them able to go around pointing out who is doing wrong things and who isn't.
telling him you forgive him is only going to make yourself feel better. you should have done something then. that could have been more beneficial to possible save other from going through what you did. telling him you forgive him is going to be beneficial to who?
Its often not just beneficial to him. It might be beneficial to her aswell. I know from my own personal experience of working with someone who drove me to the edge (and I mean contemplation of suicide edge) that he would never admit what he did and never appologise.
but I also knew that I harboured a terrible grudge against him for what he did...and that I had to not only tell him he was forgiven...but actually appologise to him for holding it against him...in the end, the bitterness would only make it worse FOR ME...not for him...he didnt care.
I came to that conclusion after watching a film called "Doing Hard Time" about a Father whose Son got killed by someone, and how that person got such a crap sentance, that the Father decided to commit his own crime (assulting a police officer) to get put inside to kill the man himself. He got his chance...but in the end they both forgave each other...then as they were being escorted away, the Father was killed, by someone who had been put inside to kill him for his having assulted the police officer. It became clear that it is the inability to forgive that causes more harm to the wronged person, then the person who wronged them.
The fact she needs to ask on this forum, and is seeking an answer, is reason enough to realize that she may also benefit from this encounter.
heres the trailor for the film btw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUtc5_NS77A