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VCURamFan 07-30-2012 03:00 PM

CagePotato Tribute: The 50 Worst Fighters in UFC History
 
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Every great sport has been built on the backs of men who absolutely sucked at it — athletes whose hapless failures made the champions’ triumphs look even more outstanding by comparison. Baseball has its Mario Mendozas, its Bob Kammeyers, its Pete Rose Jrs. We have our Joe Sons, our Tiki Ghosns, our James Toneys. So in honor of the brave competitors who proved that MMA is even harder than it looks, we humbly present this “tribute” to the worst UFC fighters of all time.

A couple of notes to start: 1) We chose fighters solely based on their performances inside the Octagon. Some of these fighters achieved great things in other organizations, before or after their time in the UFC; for the purposes of this feature, we’re not really interested in that. 2) Instead of ranking one form of suckitude against another, we’ll group the 50 fighters into sections and arrange them chronologically. Use the links below to navigate, and if we omitted anybody notable, please let us know in the comments section.

- Ben Goldstein

Page 1: The Pre-Zuffa Punchlines
Page 2: The One-and-Done Wonders

Page 3: The Repeat Offenders
Page 4: The Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time TUF Guys
Page 5: The Barely-Worth-Mentioning Washouts

VCURamFan 07-30-2012 03:17 PM

The Pre-Zuffa Punchlines
When “Style vs. Style” usually meant “Talented vs. Untalented.”
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1. Art Jimmerson (UFC record: 0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 1, 11/12/93
http://cdn2.cagepotato.com/wp-conten...ersonroyce.jpg

Even before we really understood what the UFC was, it was clear that Art Jimmerson didn’t belong there. What was a one-gloved boxer going to accomplish in a no-holds-barred fighting competition? In the end, the glove gimmick was completely beside the point. Jimmerson wasn’t able to land a single punch with either hand before he was taken down by early franchise star Royce Gracie, and tapped out before Gracie even got a chance to sink a submission hold. These days, Art is gainfully employed as the head boxing instructor at the UFC Gym in Rosemead, California, and spends his free time calling out Kimbo Slice. Legend.


2. Fred Ettish (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 2, 3/11/94
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The last thing I want to do is pile more abuse on Fred Ettish. He seems like a legitimately nice person, and he’s suffered enough in his life as it is. But leaving Ettish off a list of the worst UFC fighters of all time is like leaving Robert Johnson off a list of the 100 greatest guitarists of all time. The man has earned his place in history.

A kenpo karate stylist who wanted to challenge himself beyond point-fighting tournaments, Ettish sent a letter to Art Davie asking for a spot on UFC 2, and was brought on as a stand-by alternate when Ken Shamrock broke his hand before the event. But instead of letting Ettish warm up and keep focused backstage, the UFC tried to kill two birds with one stone by having Ettish wrangle fighters at the arena, Burt Watson-style. When Frank Hamaker injured his hand during his round-of-16 victory over Thaddeus Luster, •••• got very real, very fast:

I’d just brought up [Minoki] Ichihara, the guy who fought Royce in the first round. I was going downstairs to find the next fighter at the same time Rorion Gracie was coming up the stairs. He grabbed me by the arm and asked, ‘Are you ready to fight?’…I had to go find my guys in the crowd, drag them backstage, get my gear, stretch and try to get myself prepared. This all happened in about a 10-minute window, and I was headed out to the Octagon…I wasn’t able to get my mind right. I checked out psychologically.”

Johnny Rhodes destroyed him. Ettish’s front-kicks were more of an annoyance to his opponent than anything else, and by the time Rhodes knocked him to the mat and began firing strikes from above, Ettish only had the “earthquake defense” to protect him. Rhodes eventually won by way of a choke-hold that he seemed to have invented on the spot. Luckily, Ettish didn’t get discouraged. He went on to open a Pat Miletich-affiliated MMA gym, and returned to competition in 2009, scoring a first-round TKO of a guy who was half his age. See? Nice guys don’t always finish last.


3. Emmanuel Yarborough (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 3, 9/9/94
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Manny Yarborough proved that a 416-pound weight advantage was no advantage at all, especially if you have zero practical combat training outside of shoving other fat guys, and you can’t get off the floor without assistance. As soon as his opponent Keith Hackney landed a Hail Mary palm strike, Yarborough tumbled to the mat and nearly swallowed Hackney up in his massive gravitational pull. After a re-start due to Octagon gate-failure, Hackney pot-shotted Yarborough until he was able to knock the big sumo down again, then smashed Manny with blows from above until Big John McCarthy was forced to intervene. Yarborough wasn’t invited back to the UFC, though he did pick up a win via smother-submission during a Shooto fight four years later.


4. Joe Son (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 4, 12/16/94
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Maybe we’re biased, considering he’s arguably the worst person who ever competed in the UFC. When Joe Son cut his creepy UFC 4 promo in which he threatened to show us “the spirit of the Lord of Jesus Christ tonight,” nobody knew that he had participated in the horrifying kidnapping and gang-rape of a woman on Christmas Eve 1990, a crime that wouldn’t catch up to him until 2008. Once again, Keith Hackney played the role of regulator, repeatedly slugging Joe Son in the balls during their fight — perfectly legal back then, mind you — before making the “Joe Son Do” practitioner tap due to a choke.

After his failed UFC campaign, Son snagged a role in the first Austin Powers movie then lost three more MMA bouts in equally embarrassing fashion before a fluke vandalism warrant tied him to his earlier crime. He was convicted, sentenced to life in prison, and promptly killed his cell-mate, a fellow sex-offender. The only silver lining to the ugly story of Joe Son’s life is that he’ll almost certainly die behind bars.


5. Jon Hess (1-0)
Sole appearance: UFC 5, 4/7/95
http://youtu.be/5S1eEuG2KAE

How did a guy who never lost in the UFC make it onto this list? Well, just watch the video of Jon Hess‘s UFC 5 fight against Andy Anderson, and it’ll start to make a lot of sense. A co-founder of SAFTA — that’s Scientific Aggressive Fighting Technology of America, noob — Hess decided to pursue MMA after watching UFC 4 and concluding that he could beat Royce Gracie “very easily.” But once he got in the Octagon and started flailing around like a spaz, it wasn’t clear that he’d ever studied a real martial art. And despite his size advantage against Anderson, Hess resorted to blatant eye-gouging twice in order to get out of trouble.

In short, Hess was completely unathletic, would have been destroyed by any fighter his own size, and was most likely a total asshole to begin with. The UFC reportedly fined him $2,000 for his fouls and never allowed him back. In his second (and final) MMA fight the following year, Hess was invited to face Vitor Belfort at a SuperBrawl event on four days’ notice, and by the power of Christ, Belfort set the karmic balance back in order.


6. John Matua (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 6, 7/14/95
http://youtu.be/Wa-HvJwtbaM

And now, the internal monologue of everybody who watched UFC 6 live: “Damn, John Matua looks like a beast. Did Michael Buffer just say he studies the ‘brutal Hawaiian art of bone-breaking?’ Yeesh…R.I.P., random biker guy. It’s kind of weird that I’ve been subscribing to Black Belt magazine for the last three years and yet I’ve never heard of Kuialua; I’ll have to ask my sensei about ways to defend against it. Okay, they’re fighting, and HOLY CRAP, TANK IS BEATING HIS ASS! BONE-BREAKING HAS BEEN EXPOSED AS USELESS IN A NO-HOLDS-BARRED SCENARIO! PIT-FIGHTING IS THE FUTURE! Oh man, is Matua dead? He’s definitely dead. Wow. Best $14.99 I’ve ever spent. [puts on Everclear CD]”

See also: Thomas Ramirez


7. Paul Herrera (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 8, 2/16/96
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Oh, that poor bastard. That poor, poor son-of-a-bitch.


8. Moti Horenstein (0-2)
First appearance: UFC 10, 7/12/96
Final appearance: UFC 14, 7/27/97
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With a background in karate, kickboxing, and krav maga, Israeli striker Moti Horenstein wasn’t looking to roll around the mat with anybody. His game-plan in the cage was to unleash the kind of vicious kicks that would later score him a Guinness World Record in baseball-bat breaking. (Yes, there is such a thing.) Unfortunately, Moti’s luck in drawing opponents was cosmically, hilariously bad. Horenstein debuted in the quarterfinals of UFC 10′s open-weight tournament against former NCAA Division I wrestling champion Mark Coleman, who swiftly took him down and unleashed his trademark ground-and-pound until Horenstein tapped from strikes at the 2:43 mark.

Horenstein gave it another shot the following year, entering UFC 14′s four-man heavyweight tournament. And who was his opponent this time? None other than former NCAA Division I wrestling champion Mark Kerr, who was simply a larger, younger, and more savage version of Mark Colemon. Bleacher Report aptly described the match as ”the worst case of a Jew being led to slaughter since Jesus.” Horenstein got TKO’d in 2:22 and thankfully never showed up in the UFC again.


9. Reza Nasri (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 11, 9/20/96
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The UFC’s pre-Zuffa era featured two short-lived Iranian prospects — Tae Kwon Do stylist Saeed Hosseini, who competed at UFC 13, and Reza Nasri, who preceded him by three events. (Coincidentally, both fighters were matched up against juiced-up Americans wearing form-fitting Stars ‘n’ Stripes briefs, which made it clear who the fans were supposed to root for.) But while Hosseini put in a valiant effort before being TKO’d by Jack Nilsson, Nasri didn’t do anything for the budding reputation of Iranian MMA, getting beat down by Brian Johnston in under 30 seconds.

Nasri entered the Octagon with a Greco-Roman wrestling background, but it wasn’t clear if he’d done any striking training before joining the eight-man tournament at UFC 11, and he certainly hadn’t taken any jiu-jitsu lessons — you can tell that by the way he completely stopped fighting after Johnston put him on his back. Perhaps Nasri was waiting for the ref to award Johnston three points and stand them back up. Instead, Johnston unleashed a torrent of head-butts (still technically legal in those days) and punches that ended the Iranian’s UFC career as quickly as it began. Now, if Johnston had only come at Nasri with a knife in slow-motion, who knows what would have happened?


10. Tony Halme (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 13, 5/30/97
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Unlike the inept first-timers in this section, Tony Halme already had a proven history of failure in MMA by the time he made it to the UFC, racking up an 0-3 record for Japan’s RINGS promotion. A former professional wrestler who had competed in the WWF under the name Ludvig Borga, the hulking, tatted-up Finn certainly looked like your stereotypical cage-fighter/Aryan prison-gang leader. But against a top-shelf wrestler like Randy Couture, he was roadkill.

Halme met the Natural in the semi-finals of UFC 13′s four-man heavyweight tournament — which happened to be Couture’s MMA debut — and opened the bout by running directly into a double-leg takedown. Couture easily placed the 300-pounder on the mat, transitioned to Halme’s back, then finished him with a choke, all in just 56 seconds. It was the last attempt at MMA for Halme, who went on to win a seat in Finland’s parliament for the ultra-right-wing True Finns party, before spiraling into drug-and-alcohol-fueled insanity, and killing himself in January 2010. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.


11. Greg “Ranger” Stott (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 15, 10/17/97
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His entire MMA career lasted only 17 seconds, but it taught us so much. For one thing, being 240 pounds doesn’t necessarily make you a heavyweight — sometimes it just means you need to reduce your carb intake. Also, the Octagon is no place to test out new martial arts systems that you made up in your garage. So it went with Greg Stott, an Army Ranger who debuted his own Ranger Intensive Program (“RIP rules, and all other styles rest in peace“) at UFC 15 against the nightmare-inducing Mark Kerr, a true heavyweight in every sense of the word. After Stott tossed out a few awful-looking jabs to demonstrate how unqualified he was, Kerr clinched up and launched an Overeem-esque knee straight up the middle, putting Stott’s lights out. The Mississippi fans booed the quick stoppage, angry that Kerr didn’t literally beat Stott to death. Indeed, it was a crowd that desired bloodshed above all else.


12. Yoji Anjo (0-3)
First appearance: UFC Ultimate Japan 1, 12/21/97
Final appearance: UFC 29, 12/16/00
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The four-man heavyweight tournament at Ultimate Japan 1 featured two Japanese professional wrestlers, who entered as a publicity stunt for their Kingdom Pro Wrestling league. One of them was Kazushi Sakuraba, a last-minute injury replacement who managed to win the tournament and went on to become an MMA megastar in Japan. The other was Yoji Anjo, whose fight career couldn’t have turned out more differently. After losing a 15-minute decision to American fan-favorite Tank Abbott, Anjo was booked on two subsequent Japanese UFC cards, for no other reason than his nationality. In a pair of mismatches against middleweight up-and-comers, Anjo was choked out by Murilo Bustamante at UFC 25: Ultimate Japan 3 and TKO’d by Matt Lindland at UFC 29. Yoji Anjo retired from MMA competition with an overall record of 0-5-1. The fact that he was also responsible for the most epically failed dojo-storming attempt in martial arts history is a tale for another day.

See also: Daiju Takase


13. Chris Condo (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 20, 5/7/99
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I’m going to be honest with you — I don’t know a damn thing about Chris Condo. I don’t know where he came from, and I don’t know what became of him after his brief stint in the UFC. Maybe he was simply a spectator who was asked to replace a fighter who had dropped out at the last minute. Your guess is as good as mine. What I see in the screen-cap above is a heavy-set “grappler” whose dopey, innocent expression is reminiscent of Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket. When Condo faced Ron Waterman at UFC 20, he was, to quote that movie, in a world of ••••; Waterman TKO’d him in just 28 seconds. I remember watching the fight online a while back, and I remember that it was ugly, but the video has disappeared from the Internet. Chris Condo never fought again. His life remains a mystery.

VCURamFan 07-30-2012 04:17 PM

The One-and-Done Wonders
A single fight. A lifetime of humiliation.

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14. Aaron Brink (UFC record: 0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 28, 11/17/00
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I know what you’re thinking — what’s Dick Delaware doing here? Well, before Aaron Brink became involved in the porn game (and later, the crystal meth game), he was a promising young heavyweight who had done fairly well in MMA tournaments on the West Coast. He and Andrei Arlovski made their Octagon debuts against each other at UFC 28, and though Brink took the fight to the Pitbull, Arlovski snatched up a fight-ending armbar (with a little help from the fence) in just under a minute. A tune-up match against up-and-comer Rich Franklin at an IFC event two months later didn’t go his way either, which seemed to ensure that Brink would be competing for small-time promotions permanently; the UFC never had him back.

Brink’s subsequent MMA career proved that you can’t juggle two careers at once and be a drug addict. Luckily, he’s been completely sober for two years, but the odds of a high-profile comeback are unlikely. In May 2012, Brink was submitted by Joe Riggs in a light-heavyweight bout for Rage in the Cage, despite that fact that Joe Riggs is nowhere near being a light-heavyweight. But at least Aaron beat Dan Quinn once, and you can’t take that away from him.


15. Sean Gannon (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 55, 10/7/05
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In 2005, Kimbo Slice was picking up viral YouTube fame as a bare-knuckle brawler in Miami. So obviously, the UFC decided to sign the white guy who beat him that one time. It was a rare misstep for the UFC talent scouts, who paired the inexperienced Boston police officer against veteran heavyweight Branden Lee Hinkle. Hinkle beat the tar out of Gannon, winning by first-round TKO and ending his MMA career. Four years later, the UFC signed Kimbo, like they should have in the first place.


16. Kit Cope (0-1)
Sole appearance: The Ultimate Fighter 2 Finale, 11/5/05
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Kit Cope charmed his way into appearances on MTV’s True Life and Spike TV’s The Wild World of Spike, and in the greatest moment of his career, he convinced Gina Carano to have sex with him. But charm will only get you so far in this sport. Despite his decorated kickboxing pedigree, Cope’s general lack of grappling skills made him an easy target in MMA competition. (His overall record currently stands at 6-7, with six of those losses coming by submission.) In his lone UFC appearance, he faced TUF 1 finalist Kenny Florian and inevitably fell prey to a rear-naked choke. Following his brief UFC stint, he challenged Rob McCullough for the WEC’s vacant lightweight title, tapped due to punches in the first round, then tested positive for steroids. And if he ever leaks that Gina Carano sex tape, the ghost of Shawn Tompkins is going to kick the •••• out of him.


EDITED DUE TO POOR TASTE BY THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR[/U]


18. Josh Hendricks (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 91, 11/15/08
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Unlike some of the other guys on this page, Josh “Heavy” Hendricks‘s one-and-done dismissal from the UFC didn’t result from him insulting the promotion, testing positive for steroids, or sullying his family name. The Ohio native was drafted to make his Octagon debut against Gabriel Gonzaga at UFC 91, but when the dust had settled on his knockout loss — a 61-second blitz that remains the quickest win of Napao’s career — it was clear that Hendricks wasn’t UFC material. And it wasn’t just because he got his ass kicked in a way that suggested he’d never be more than a gatekeeper. It was also his soft physique, and those weird little bumps he carried all over his body, which might have freaked out the UFC brass and probably didn’t win him any fans among the home viewers. He didn’t “look like a fighter,” to put it charitably. The UFC cut him loose, and now he’s just another footnote on Gonzaga’s impressive resume.


19. Rolles Gracie Jr. (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 109, 2/6/10
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As the first Gracie to compete in the UFC since King Royce, there was a lot of pressure on Rolles Gracie — grandson of Carlos Gracie Sr. — to honor his ancestors. Unsurprisingly, his grappling credentials were impeccable. But as an MMA fighter, he was just 3-0 when he was signed by the UFC, and clearly not ready for the big show. Gracie’s debut opponent was intended to be Mostapha al-Turk, who had already been smashed by Cheick Kongo and Mirko Cro Cop in previous UFC fights, and might have been an easy meal for Rolles. Instead, al-Turk was forced to drop out of the match due to visa issues, and was replaced on short notice by a dangerous slugger named Joey Beltran.

Gracie’s downfall turned out not to be Beltran’s striking or experience advantages, but his own ••••ty cardio. Rolles successfully mounted Beltran and took his back in round one, but couldn’t secure a submission, and by the time Beltran got back to his feet, Gracie was already gassed. His lumbering takedown attempts were easily stuffed in round two, and Beltran finished the fight by sprawling on top of the helpless grappler and punching down on him. After the fight, Rolles’s own cousin Renzo called the performance “embarrassing.” Evan Beltran felt bad for him. And these days, the once-proud Gracie is forced to fight opponents with even smaller gas-tanks than his.


20. James Toney (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 118, 8/28/10
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Didn’t Art Jimmerson already prove that this wouldn’t work? James Toney may have been a far more accomplished boxer than Jimmerson — and he had the good sense to wear two gloves into the Octagon — but his completely ill-advised MMA crossover attempt gave us a weird sense of deja vu. This time, the UFC legend in the other corner was Randy Couture, who took Toney down and submitted him without absorbing a single punch. Toney was so inept in the ways of MMA that he didn’t even know how to tap out properly; instead, he just waved his hand at the heavens like a Pentecostal preacher. Honestly, we expected more from someone whose daddy was an original death fighter.


21. Vinicius Kappke de Queiroz (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 120, 10/16/10
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Kappke de Queiroz‘s UFC debut proved that appearances can be deceiving — and very disappointing. After racking up a string of first-round knockouts in his native Brazil, the towering Chute Boxe product took his first steps in the Octagon at UFC 120 against the much-less-impressive-looking Rob Broughton, and performed admirably for a full round before gassing out. Broughton secured the win in the third frame with a rear-naked choke. After the fight, it was revealed that Queiroz failed a random pre-fight drug screening, coming up positive for Stanozolol. Despite his rock-solid alibi, the UFC got rid of Queiroz — which is a relief, considering his name is a liveblogger’s worst nightmare. Seriously, Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop is only slightly more ridiculous. VKdQ is currently awaiting his Bellator debut.


22. Antonio McKee (0-1)
Sole appearance: UFC 125, 1/1/11
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After going to the judges in 16 out of 17 fights from 2002-2009, Antonio McKee earned a reputation as MMA’s most unapologetically boring fighter. Keeping a tattooed Asian manservant named Kenny back at his house certainly didn’t increase his likability factor. But judging from McKee’s interviews, it was obvious that he considered himself God’s gift to combat sports. He was the Muhammad Ali of MMA, as well as the Tupac Shakur of MMA. He was, and we quote, “the baddest nigga on the planet.”

And somehow, the wrestling savant known as “Mandingo” turned in one of his most boring performances ever at his UFC debut, and wound up losing a split-decision to the equally boring Jacob Volkmann. The UFC promptly tossed him out on his ass, and he got all racial on us. Moral of the story: If you’re going to talk ••••, you’d better back it up by winning. And if you don’t win, you’d better put on a great show while you lose. And if you can’t do either, please, do not under any circumstances try to bite a chunk out of your opponent’s shoulder.

J.B. 07-30-2012 04:25 PM

I honestly know who 90% of these guys are without actually reading any of this. It's kinda sad actually.....:laugh:

VCURamFan 07-30-2012 04:29 PM

The Repeat Offenders
They were the UFC’s lovable losers — minus the “lovable” part.
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23. Tiki Ghosn (UFC record: 0-4)
First appearance: UFC 24, 3/10/00
Final appearance: UFC 47, 4/2/04
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Fighter, gym-owner, goatee-artist, two-time TUF assistant coach, and ubiquitous douchebag-sidekick, Tiki Ghosn is a man of many talents. He’s also one of only three fighters to ever go 0-4 in the UFC — Seth Petruzelli and John Alessio (now 0-5) are the others — and the only 0-4 fighter to lose all four fights by stoppage. An early member of Team Punishment who was managed by Dana White before the Zuffa era, Tiki’s UFC debut came in a rear-naked choke loss to future American Kickboxing Academy co-founder “Crazy” Bob Cook at UFC 24, and he followed up that performance the next year at UFC 30 with a submission loss to Sean Sherk due to dislocated shoulder.

After putting together three straight wins outside of the Octagon, Ghosn returned at UFC 40 in November 2002, where he humiliated himself by getting knocked out by Robbie Lawler then insisting that the bout was stopped because of a cut. But Dana White is nothing if not loyal to his friends, and gave Ghosn a fourth attempt after he picked up two more rebound victories outside of the promotion. Tiki’s last stand was a high-profile supporting spot at UFC 47: It’s On! against Chris Lytle, who bulldog-choked him in round two. Tiki was released by the UFC and immediately lost three consecutive fights in the WEC, all by stoppage. After walking away from competition in 2009, Tiki briefly found employment as the guy who put up with Arianny Celeste’s ••••.


24. John Alessio (0-5)
First appearance: UFC 26, 6/9/00
Most recent appearance: UFC 148, 7/7/12
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Based solely on record, you could argue that John “The Natural” Alessio is the single worst fighter in UFC history. No other man has ever stepped into the Octagon five times without winning at least once. What makes Alessio’s UFC record so astounding is that he’s not a bad fighter in any traditional sense. He’s a perfectly serviceable — though unspectacular — journeyman who has simply been out-classed by everyone he’s met in the UFC.

Alessio’s 12-year quest for UFC victory began way back at UFC 26, when he was booked as the challenger for Pat Miletich‘s third welterweight title defense — despite the fact that Alessio was an unseasoned 20-year-old prospect who had never competed in the UFC. Miletich won by second-round armbar, and Alessio spent the next six years in the minor leagues, before he was brought back to the UFC in 2006. Once again, matchmaking was not his friend. Alessio was paired up with savage up-and-comers Diego Sanchez (at UFC 60) and Thiago Alves (at Ortiz vs. Shamrock 3: The Final Chapter), and lost by unanimous decision each time. Alessio was released again, and spent another six years outside of the UFC.

But the UFC didn’t forget about him. When Matt Wiman caught a knee injury three weeks before UFC 145, Alessio — who had dropped to lightweight the previous year — was offered a replacement spot against Mark Bocek. Alessio accepted, and warned the UFC lightweights that he was coming for them. Bocek soundly out-grappled him, winning all three rounds. Fair enough; these things happen when you come in on short notice. Unfortunately, the exact same thing happened in Alessio’s next fight, when he had the benefit of a full training camp. At UFC 148, the Natural met up with former WEC contender Shane Roller, who had lost his last three fights in the UFC. Alessio looked impressive in the first round and had Roller hurt, but Roller roared back in the second and controlled the remainder of the fight with his wrestling, eliciting some audible trash-talk and profanity from the Canadian. The unanimous decision loss made it five defeats in a row for Alessio. News of his latest firing hasn’t broken yet, but it’s a safe bet that the pink slip is in the mail. Keep an eye out for his next return in 2018.


25. Elvis Sinosic (1-6)
First appearance: UFC 30, 2/23/01
Final appearance: UFC 70, 4/21/07
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Elvis Sinosic‘s UFC debut defied all logic. Impressed by his gutsy performance in a losing effort to Frank Shamrock at a K-1 World Grand Prix event, the UFC signed the Australian journeyman-in-training (just 3-3-1 at the time) to a fight contract. But they didn’t do Sinosic any favors by matching him up with submission specialist Jeremy Horn, whose beefy record of 45-9-4 already included six fights in the UFC. So it was a minor miracle when Sinosic wound up submitting Horn via triangle-armbar in the first round of their fight at UFC 30.

Unfortunately, it would be the last time that “The King of Rock ‘n’ Rumble” would taste victory inside the Octagon. And Lord knows the UFC gave him enough chances to get that second win. Over the next six years, Sinosic would be beaten up by Tito Ortiz in a light-heavyweight title fight, manhandled by various 205-pound contenders (Evan Tanner, Renato Sobral, Alessio Sakara), and TKO’d by two separate Ultimate Fighter winners (Forrest Griffin, Michael Bisping).

Incredibly, the UFC considered bringing Elvis out of a two-year retirement for a rematch with fellow Aussie Chris Haseman at its first Australian show in February 2010, but Sinosic had to withdraw due to a shoulder injury. If the fight took place as scheduled, Elvis might have become the first fighter in history to lose seven UFC fights in a row; as it stands, his six-fight losing streak in the Octagon ties him with Phil Baroni.


26. Wes Sims (0-3)
First appearance: UFC 43, 6/6/03
Final appearance: The Ultimate Fighter 10, fall 2009
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Standing at 6’8″ and at least half-insane, Hammer House product Wes Sims was an imposing figure in MMA’s heavyweight scene back in 2001-2002. After compiling a 6-1 record in regional promotions, “The A-Hole Show” was brought on by the UFC for a match against future heavyweight champ Frank Mir. The fight ended with one of the most flagrant and brutal disqualifications in UFC history: Sims slammed his way out of an armbar, then stood up and repeatedly stomped on the downed Mir’s head while holding onto the fence for balance. The two men were booked for an immediate rematch, which Mir dominated, winning by second-round TKO.
Sims made it three UFC losses in a row when he came in to fight Mike Kyle on short notice at UFC 47 and got knocked out; after the fight, Kyle complained that Sims actually bit his chest during the match. The UFC had seen enough, and fired Sims. Eventually, he wound up living in a garbage bag under an interstate in Illinois. Going against their better judgment — especially considering that Sims had kicked a referee the previous year — the UFC brought him back for the tenth season of The Ultimate Fighter, where Wes played the house oddball alongside fellow heavies like Roy Nelson, Brendan Schaub, and Kimbo Slice. His UFC comeback didn’t last long; Sims was choked out by Justin Wren in TUF 10‘s preliminary round, and was punted from the promotion for good after the show ended.


27. Jason Miller (0-3)
First appearance: UFC 52, 4/16/05
Final appearance: UFC 146, 5/26/12
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As a showman, Jason “Mayhem” Miller was one of MMA’s pound-for-pound greats. But despite a decorated career outside the Octagon, he was never able to prove that he was “UFC caliber,” a failure that clearly bummed him out royally. Miller’s first defeat in the UFC was completely excusable — a three-round blowout against Georges St. Pierre in what would turn out to be Mayhem’s final fight at welterweight. Miller left the UFC following the loss and moved up to middleweight shortly after, becoming a fan-favorite in leagues like Icon Sport, Dream, and Strikeforce.

The UFC lured him back in 2011, giving Miller a plum gig as a coach on TUF 14 opposite Michael Bisping. Though reality TV was a comfortable fit for the former Bully Beatdown host, his fighting skills had suddenly, shockingly, turned into bull••••. In his TUF 14 Finale fight against Bisping, Mayhem’s striking looked embarrassingly rudimentary, and his cardio was even worse. After his third-round TKO/ass-whuppin’, it looked like he might not get another chance, but the UFC decided to give him a follow-up fight against CB Dollaway at UFC 146.

Despite Miller’s reputation as a ground-specialist, he couldn’t stop Dollaway from holding him down for the majority of their three-rounder. Once again, Mayhem lost in the UFC, and looked less-than-impressive in the process; that “crazy •••• backstage” certainly didn’t help his case. The UFC cut Miller after the fight, and he retired — for now, at least — to pursue the new “ultra-hazardous activities” phase of his life.


28. Jorge Santiago (1-4)
First appearance: UFC Fight Night 5, 6/28/06
Final appearance: UFC 136, 10/8/11
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Jorge Santiago first entered the UFC as an 11-5 prospect, and after three fights in the Octagon it looked he was going to be just another washout, forgotten as quickly as he arrived. He did manage to win his debut by knocking out Justin Levens — a victory that seemed less impressive in retrospect — but then he got KO’d in back-to-back fights against Chris Leben and Alan Belcher, and was fired from the promotion.

And then something strange happened — Santiago turned into a destroyer. Over the next four years, he went 11-1 outside the Octagon, collected title belts in Strikeforce and Sengoku, won a 2010 Fight of the Year Candidate against Kazuo Misaki, and even submitted current UFC hotshot welterweight contender Siyar Bahadurzada. The UFC invited him back in 2011, and what followed was a was a hype-deflation on the level of Mirko Cro Cop or Jake Shields.

First, Santiago got TKO’d in a wild two-rounder against Brian Stann at UFC 130. His follow-up match against Demian Maia at UFC 136 was far less interesting. Maia racked up points with takedowns and top control, and Santiago spent 15 minutes doing next-to-nothing. When the last horn sounded, former top-ten middleweight Jorge Santiago had lost his fourth consecutive match in the UFC, and was released by the promotion for the second time. He currently competes for Titan Fighting Championship, where, unsurprisingly, he’s been smashing everybody he faces.


29. Dan Lauzon (0-3)
First appearance: UFC 64, 10/14/06
Final appearance: UFC 114, 5/29/10
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At 18 years, seven months, and 14 days old, Dan Lauzon became the youngest fighter to ever compete in the UFC, coming in as a short-notice replacement at UFC 64. (Dan’s older brother Joe Lauzon had made his Octagon debut the previous month at UFC 63, scoring a massive upset over former lightweight champ Jens Pulver.) Dan was just 4-0 at the time, and had an opportunity to make his name against dangerous veteran Spencer Fisher, who had 20 pro fights under his belt. Fisher TKO’d him in one round; so much for the storybook ending.

The UFC cut Dan loose, and he lost his next fight as well. But after racking up eight straight victories, the UFC signed Lauzon to a new contract in 2010. Cole Miller submitted him via modified kimura at UFC 108, and Efrain Escudero easily out-pointed him at UFC Fight Night 22, sending Lauzon back to the minor leagues for good. Was Dan simply a victim of tough matchmaking, who deserves credit for trying his best in the shark tank of the UFC? Maybe. But keep in mind that his own brother Joe publicly blasted his laziness before his pink-slip fight against Escudero:

Dan has never put in an honest training camp…You have never seen someone that has no job because they are a ‘full-time fighter’ that trains less…he is never in the gym. If he has a fight, he is in sparingly. If he doesn’t have a fight he is an absolute ghost.”


30. Jason Reinhardt (0-3)
First appearance: UFC 78, 11/17/07
Final appearance: UFC Live: Hardy vs. Lytle, 8/14/11
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In addition to being the only person we know of who gave his own parents crabs, Jason Reinhardt is one of only seven UFC fighters — along with Kenny Florian, Vitor Belfort, Joe Stevenson, James Irvin, Josh Haynes, and Karlos Vemola — who can claim to have lost fights in three different weight classes within the Octagon, not including catchweight bouts and TUF exhibitions. But you have to admire the guy’s tenacity. Reinhardt made his bones in the semi-regulated jungles of the Midwestern regional circuit, fighting much larger opponents for shady promotions, and literally breaking his neck trying to put on good shows for the fans. He beat everybody who was put in front of him, racking up an 18-0 record to start his career — but for some reason he fell short every time he made it to the big show.

Reinhardt made his Octagon debut as a lightweight at UFC 78, and his opponent Joe Lauzon needed just over a minute to end the fight via rear-naked choke. Reinhardt was immediately released by the promotion, and spent most of the next three years battling injuries. He eventually retuned to the UFC as a featherweight, where he was guillotine-choked by Zhang Tiequan, this time in just 48 seconds.

The UFC gave Jason one more chance to prove himself at bantamweight — arguably his natural weight-class — booking him against Edwin Figueroa. Sadly, Reinhardt turned in the worst performance of his career that night, spending the entire first round running around the outside of the cage, talking trash rather than engaging. But he couldn’t run forever; Figueroa tracked down Reinhardt early in the second frame and scored a brutal strikes-from-above TKO. Jason was fired from the UFC immediately after. He’s since floated the idea of a drop to flyweight, but there’s no way it’ll happen in the Octagon.


31. Steve Cantwell (1-5)
First appearance: UFC Fight for the Troops, 12/10/08
Final appearance: UFC 144, 2/26/12
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Along with Dan Hardy, Steve Cantwell is one of only two fighters in UFC history who have lost four consecutive fights in the Octagon without being released, at least temporarily. But while Hardy’s continued employment can be somewhat attributed to his fan-friendly style, colorful personality/hair, and UK poster-boy status, the fact that Cantwell lasted as long as he did is utterly inexplicable; he’s not a fan-favorite, he’s never won a performance bonus, he’s racked up losing records in two different weight classes, and his sole UFC victory was followed by an uncomfortable post-fight speech about how he’d always wanted to break somebody’s arm. Being a former WEC champ might earn a guy some extra leeway, but after Cantwell’s fifth-straight unanimous decision loss — against Riki Fukuda at UFC 144 — the UFC understandably had to pull the plug. Since Dan Hardy managed to beat up Duane Ludwig at UFC 146, Cantwell’s historic losing streak may never be equaled.


32. Mostapha al-Turk (0-3)
First appearance: UFC 92, 12/27/08
Final appearance: UFC 112, 4/10/10
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There’s a hard and fast rule in the UFC these days — if you’re a relatively unknown prospect who loses your first two fights, you get fired, no questions asked. You might get to come back after winning a few outside of the Octagon, but you definitely have to go away for a while. (Check out the honorable mentions list on page five for about 30 more examples of this phenomenon.) Mostapha al-Turk was one of the rare exceptions to that rule. Entering the UFC with a not-quite-worthy record of 6-3 in English promotions, it was clear from the beginning that the Lebanese heavyweight was going to be used primarily as a stepping stone for other fighters.

First, al-Turk was fed to Cheick Kongo — who already had seven UFC fights under his belt at the time — and got TKO’d within one round. Then, he was set up as the low-risk return opponent for Mirko Cro Cop at UFC 99, and met the exact same fate (aided by an unfortunate eye-poke). Perhaps out of sympathy, the UFC gave al-Turk a third chance against a fighter who was neither experienced nor a striker — TUF 10 product Jon Madsen, who was coming off his first official UFC victory over Justin Wren. Al-Turk and Madsen met in the first preliminary match at UFC 112, where Madsen wrestled his way to a unanimous decision victory, dropping al-Turk’s lifetime MMA record to 6-6. The UFC finally put Mostapha al-Turk out of his misery, and he wisely retired from the sport.


33. Peter Sobotta (0-3)
First appearance: UFC 99, 6/13/09
Final appearance: UFC 122, 11/13/10
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Peter Sobotta was another exception to the UFC’s “0-2, sucks to be you” rule. Hired as a local attraction for the UFC’s first event in Germany, the Polish-German welterweight lost a unanimous decision to Paul Taylor on the UFC 99 preliminary card. Due to a military committment, Sobotta didn’t get his second at-bat until the following year, when he lost another unanimous decision to James Wilks on the UFC 115 prelims. That should have earned Sobotta his pink slip, but when the UFC returned to Germany five months later, Peter was booked again, this time in a main card match against Amir Sadollah. (Man, what a terrible lineup that was.) Proving himself to be one of the most consistent fighters in the sport, Sobotta lost a third-straight unanimous decision, absorbing a record-setting 46 leg kicks in the process. Auf wiedersehen, pal.


34. Gilbert Yvel (0-3)
First appearance: UFC 108, 1/2/10
Final appearance: UFC 121, 10/23/10
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When the UFC hired Gilbert Yvel for three appearances in 2010, he was already 13 years into his MMA career, was best known for fouling people, and his most notable victory in the previous five years was a knockout of the equally past-his prime Pedro Rizzo. Yvel’s utter failure in the Octagon didn’t really come as a surprise. You get the sense that he was only signed to pad the records of up-and-comers.

His first opponent in the UFC was rising star Junior Dos Santos; Yvel was expected to get knocked out quickly, and he didn’t disappoint. Gilbert followed up his UFC debut with a decision loss to Ben Rothwell, and was finally booked in a curtain-jerking match against lay-and-pray artist Jon Madsen at UFC 121. But instead of a soothing, 15-minute hug-fest, Madsen decided to go into beast-mode, TKO’ing Yvel in less than two minutes. His purpose served, Yvel left the Octagon. He’s currently on a two-fight win streak in the Resurrection Fighting Alliance promotion, and hasn’t bitten an opponent or attacked a referee since 2004.


35. Cole Escovedo (0-3)
First appearance: UFC 130, 5/28/11
Final appearance: UFC on FOX 1: Velasquez vs. Dos Santos, 11/12/11
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Much like Jason Miller and Jorge Santiago, Cole Escovedo‘s talents just didn’t quite translate inside the Octagon. The first-ever featherweight champion of the WEC, Escovedo held his belt for three-and-a-half years before losing it to Urijah Faber in 2006, and left the organization after a subsequent loss to Antonio Banuelos. Following a three-year hiatus from the sport, Escovedo started building steam again, most notably scoring a TKO over Michael McDonald in a Palace Fighting Championships bout in 2009, and doing this to Yoshiro Maeda in DREAM the following year.
But when he entered the UFC as a bantamweight in 2011, he couldn’t catch a break. Escovedo’s first opponent was Brazilian wrecking-machine Renan Barao, who defeated him by unanimous decision. Then, he was TKO’d by former WEC title contender Takeya Mizugaki in his next fight, and for his third and final UFC appearance, Escovedo committed his biggest sin of all — getting totally owned by TUF 12 clown Alex “Bruce Leroy” Caceres, a man who would probably be featured on the next page if not for that win over Escovedo. “The Apache Kid” was released by the UFC in December.

J.B. 07-30-2012 04:33 PM

Please replace that picture of Wes Sims. :laugh:

VCURamFan 07-30-2012 04:35 PM

The Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time TUF Guys

They were given contracts after their time on The Ultimate Fighter — and did absolutely nothing with them.
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36. Seth Petruzelli (UFC record: 0-4)
TUF season: 2
Final appearance: UFC 122, 11/13/10
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Years before he gained notoriety as the guy who derailed the Kimbo Slice hype train in EliteXC — as well as aiding the demise of the promotion itselfSeth Petruzelli was cast in the heavyweight bracket of TUF 2, and was eliminated in the semi-finals after a split-decision loss to Brad Imes. Though he didn’t compete at the TUF 2 Finale, the UFC brought Seth back a year later to face Matt Hamill, who beat him by unanimous decision in a Fight of the Night-winning performance. After picking up a rebound win outside of the UFC, Petruzelli was given another chance at UFC Fight Night 9, where he was choked out by Wilson Gouveia and released from the promotion.

The next three years brought Petruzelli renewed attention as the “Kimbo Killer” and for his cameo appearances in Tom Lawlor‘s ridiculous walk-outs and weigh-ins. Impressed by his four-fight win streak and entertaining persona, the UFC decided to sign Petruzelli once again in 2010. The Silverback swiftly got his ass whipped by Ricardo Romero (a UFC first-timer) and Karlos Vemola (who was making his light-heavyweight debut), which clinched his re-firing — a shame, considering Seth could have been the sport’s first openly-gay superstar.


37. Josh Haynes (0-3)
Season: 3
Final appearance: UFC 69, 7/7/07
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Arguably the worst finalist in the show’s history, Josh Haynes made it to the end of the light-heavyweight bracket on TUF 3 thanks to an unbreakable spirit, relatively weak competition, and some generous judging. After getting past Tait Fletcher (via controversial two-round decision) and Jesse Forbes (via guillotine choke), Haynes’s luck finally ran out at the TUF 3 Finale, where he was thrashed by the far-more-skilled Michael Bisping. Haynes dropped to middleweight for his next bout, and took on his former Team Ortiz castmate Rory Singer, losing a few pints of blood en route to a gory unanimous decision loss. Haynes then dropped to welterweight and was starched by Luke Cummo. Sadly, Haynes was released before he had a chance to re-invent himself at 155, but as we mentioned before, losing UFC fights in three different weight classes is an accomplishment in itself.


38. Ross Pointon (0-2)
Season: 3
Final appearance: UFC Fight Night 8, 1/25/07
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Heart will only get you so far in this sport. Ross Pointon‘s gladiator spirit and willingness to fight anyone at any time has earned him respect from MMA fans, other fighters, and Dana White himself. It’s also earned him a regrettable lifetime record of 6-15, with 14 of those losses coming by stoppage.

In 2006, the British scrapper became the only fighter in TUF history to lose in two different weight classes on the same season. Originally a middleweight on Team Ortiz, Pointon was knocked out of the competition when he was submitted by eventual middleweight winner Kendall Grove. But his journey didn’t end there. When light-heavyweight Matt Hamill couldn’t advance to the semis due to injury, Ross Pointon went up in weight to replace him against Michael Bisping — an opportunity that presented itself thanks to Mike Nickels being injured, and Tait Fletcher and Kristian Rothaermel being total pussies and refusing the fight. Bisping beat the crap out of Pointon, making him tap due to strikes at 2:13 of round 1.
Pointon returned to middleweight for the TUF 3 Finale card, where he was submitted in 44 seconds by Rory Singer. Pointon then dropped to welterweight and — you guessed it — was submitted again, this time by Rich Clementi. Although his official UFC record stands at 0-2, Pointon’s overall record including TUF exhibitions was 0-4 over three weight classes. Still feel like giving it up for heart?


39, 40. Gideon Ray (0-3), Edwin Dewees (0-3)
Season: 4
Final appearance: TUF 4 Finale, 11/11/06
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We might as well cover these two at the same time, since they’re both here for the exact same reason — each man went 0-3 in official UFC competition, and never made it to the second round in any of those bouts. And of course, they participated in one of the most infamous fights in Ultimate Fighter history.

By the time he joined TUF‘s “Comeback” season, Gideon Ray had already lost a doctor’s stoppage TKO to David Loiseau and gotten knocked out in 22 seconds by Mike Swick, while Edwin Dewees suffered his own pair of first-round stoppages against Rich Franklin and Chris Leben. Ray and Dewees joined the TUF 4 cast in 2006, and as fate would have it, the two fighters met in the show’s middleweight quarterfinals.

“Bloody” doesn’t begin to describe the fight that transpired; during the second round, Ray elbowed a gash into Dewees’s forehead that caused gallons of the red stuff to spurt all over the canvas. Incredibly, the injury turned out to be a bigger disadvantage for Ray himself. As we previously wrote in our Greatest Bloodbaths list, Dewees “spent much of the last frame on top of Ray, with blood squirting from his head directly into the nose and mouth of his opponent. Ray was visibly freaked out, and was unable to mount an effective offense.” Horrible, right? Dewees went on to win by unanimous decision, but was outpointed in the semi-finals by Patrick Cote.

Both fighters got a chance to prove themselves on the season 4 finale card, and once again they were unable to escape the first round; Ray was armbarred by Charles McCarthy, while Dewees was TKO’d by Jorge Rivera. Ray and Dewees were released by the UFC, and have compiled losing records in regional promotions since then.


41. Jeremy Jackson (0-2)
Season: 4
Final appearance: The TUF 4 Finale, 11/11/06
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To say that Jeremy Jackson has poor judgment when it comes to women is a profound understatement. Though he first entered the Octagon at UFC 44 in 2003, losing a rubber match against Nick Diaz — the two had fought twice before in regional promotions — Jackson is best known to MMA fans as the bonehead who got kicked off TUF 4 for sneaking out of the house to meet up with a female lifeguard. The UFC was kind enough to bring him back at the finale show, where he was neck-cranked by Pete Spratt, and released from the promotion.

And that was pretty much the last we heard about Jeremy Jackson, until he was arrested for multiple counts of rape, kidnapping, and assault in July 2008. The details of his alleged crime were horrific, and suddenly Jeremy’s girl-crazy reputation took on a much darker tone. He originally plead not-guilty to the charges. And then, the bizarre twist —Jackson was reportedly on the verge of beating the case due to the accuser’s questionable credibility, but then decided he’d had enough of life as a free man, and changed his plea to guilty against the advice of his lawyer, “because he was depressed and wanted the trial to end,” according to a juror. He’s currently serving 25-years-to-life in prison.


42. Andy Wang (0-1)
Season: 5
Final appearance: TUF 5 Finale, 6/23/07
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Without Andy Wang, we wouldn’t have a clever phrase to describe a grappling specialist who idiotically decides to slug it out with his striker opponent. Now, we know this strategy as the “Stand-and-Wang.” So thanks, Andy.

A BJJ black belt under Egan Inoue, Wang came into TUF 5 with a sub-par record of 5-6, with all but one of his fights going to decision. In the season’s opening round, Wang was matched up with Brandon Melendez, who held an eight-inch reach advantage against him. Despite coach BJ Penn‘s perfectly logical pre-fight instructions for Wang to take Melendez down and work his jiu-jitsu — as well BJ’s repeated pleas during the fight — Andy insisted on standing-and-wanging, and wound up being dominated to a decision loss. Afterwards, Wang bawled uncontrollably, and Penn brutally mocked him for it.

Though he certainly didn’t deserve the opportunity, Wang was blessed with a spot on the TUF 5 Finale card against Cole Miller. Wang promised to use his jiu-jitsu this time, and Miller decided to just knock him the •••• out. That kind of wise game-planning explains why Miller still has a job in the UFC, and why Wang remains one of TUF’s most reliable punchlines.


43. Gabe Ruediger (0-3)
Season: 5
Final appearance: UFC 126, 2/5/11
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In a way, Gabe Ruediger is fortunate that he’s mostly remembered for colonics, cake, and crying, because otherwise he’d just be known for taking savage beatings. Ruediger didn’t just fall short of victory in his UFC career — he got hurt, very badly, all three times he stepped inside the Octagon.

Like fellow castmate Joe Lauzon, Gabe’s first UFC appearance was actually at UFC 63, four months before TUF 5 started filming. But unlike Lauzon’s thrilling upset of Jens Pulver on that card, Ruediger was gut-shotted to death by Melvin Guillard. On The Ultimate Fighter, he didn’t even get a chance to compete; a fiasco of a botched weight cut led to his dismissal from the show and the promotion, and he wouldn’t strap on a pair of UFC gloves for another four years.

After Ruediger cobbled together a six-fight win streak in the California regional circuit — and helped turn Paris Hilton into a straight-up killing machine — the UFC brought ‘Godzilla’ back as an injury replacement against Lauzon at UFC 118. J-Lau thoroughly dominated Ruediger, and Ruediger was kind of a dick about it afterwards. But since Gabe helped the UFC out by coming in on short-notice, they gave him another shot against Paul Taylor. Once again, Ruediger took a terrible, terrible beating, and was released from the promotion. After getting knocked out again at a BAMMA event earlier this year, Ruediger retired from the sport. He is currently preparing for his celebrity boxing debut.


44. Dave Kaplan (0-2)
Season: 8
Final appearance: UFC 98, 5/23/09
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Even without his pair of official losses in the UFC, former Singing Bee champ Dave Kaplan did enough to humiliate himself on The Ultimate Fighter to clinch a place on this list. He was the guy who accidentally ate semen-coated sushi, for starters. And after being choked out by Phillipe Nover in TUF 8‘s lightweight quarterfinals, he went on a drinking bender that culminated in him cornering Tom Lawlor in a bathroom, demanding to be hit in the face. Lawlor one-punch KO’d him, and despite the fact that we could all hear Kaplan snoring, he would later insist that he never lost consciousness.

Kaplan was given a spot on the TUF 8 Finale card due in large part to his wacky persona, and he rose to the occasion, dancing out to “Tenderness” by General Public and getting armbarred by Junie Browning in the event’s Fight of the Night. Losing to “the Lunatik” should have automatically earned Kaplan his walking papers, but he re-appeared five months later at UFC 98, where he was out-struck by George Roop to a split-decision loss. Kaplan was finally released from the UFC, and went on to lose one more fight for the Tachi Palace Fights promotion before walking away from the sport with a 3-4 record.


45. Kimbo Slice (1-1)
Season: 10
Final appearance: UFC 113, 5/8/10
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For a while, Kimbo Slice was the biggest name in mixed martial arts — bigger than Tito Ortiz, bigger than Brock Lesnar, bigger than anybody. That’s especially impressive when you consider that he was never really a mixed martial artist to begin with. Kimbo’s fame resulted from a once-in-a-lifetime convergence of the old-school (bare-knuckle boxing, a sport that civilization had outgrown a century ago) and the new-school (YouTube, which could turn a backyard brawler from Florida into a worldwide sensation, provided that he had a cool beard and enough punching power to dislocate an eyeball).

Kimbo had already been exposed as an MMA fighter by the time he was brought into the UFC by way of TUF 10 in 2009, but as they say, money talks. And if he’d been initially paired up against one of the cast’s less-accomplished prospects — Wes Shivers and Marcus “Big Baby” Jones come to mind — things might have turned out differently. Instead, his first opponent was former IFL champ Roy Nelson, the season’s token ringer, who crucified Kimbo with little effort.

There was no question that Slice was going to be brought back for the finale show, but in a transparent bit of bet-hedging, the UFC booked him against equally one-dimensional slugger Houston Alexander, rather than another TUF 10 cast-member who might take him down and out-grapple him again. What was supposed to be a meat-and-potatoes brawl turned into Alexander doing a pretty faithful Kalib Starnes impression for three rounds. The fight was kind of an embarrassment, but Kimbo squeaked out a decision win, earning another chance in the Octagon.

At UFC 113, it was finally time to pay the piper. Unlike his 2008 loss to Seth Petruzelli in EliteXC, there was nothing fluke-ish about Kimbo Slice’s defeat at the hands of TUF 10 standout Matt Mitrione. Slice did his best to bully Mitrione in the opening minute of the fight, but was simply outclassed on every level. Eventually, Kimbo ran out of gas and suffered an ugly second-round TKO via strikes on the ground. It was the end of his MMA career. Kimbo now competes as a professional boxer — with gloves and everything — and once again, the biggest draw in MMA is some clean-shaven white guy.

VCURamFan 07-30-2012 04:38 PM

The Barely-Worth-Mentioning Washouts

They came. They lost. Who cared?
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46. Townsend Saunders (0-2)
First appearance: UFC 16, 3/13/98
Final appearance: UFC 18, 1/8/99

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Townsend Saunders is part of a very exclusive group of UFC competitors who were also Olympic medalists in wrestling. (See also: Matt Lindland, Kevin Jackson, Mark Schultz). But unlike those other athletes, Townsend’s wrestling chops weren’t enough to earn him a single win in the Octagon.

Saunders took silver at the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta, competing in freestyle wrestling at 68 kg. Two years later, he made his MMA debut at UFC 16, in the promotion’s first-ever 170-pound tournament. His opponent in the opening round was Pat Miletich, who was already a seasoned veteran of the sport, even though he was also making his UFC debut that night. Though Saunders managed to put the Croatian Sensation on his back for the majority of the fight, his general lack of activity from the top position led to a split-decision loss. (I guess you could call him MMA’s “Godfather of Lay-and-Pray.”)

The next year at UFC 18, Saunders returned for a match against Mikey Burnett, who was also featured in the tournament bracket at UFC 16. This time, Saunders’s wrestling was completely ineffective; Burnett stuffed all his takedown attempts and beat him up standing for 15 minutes, taking the unanimous decision victory. Saunders never competed in MMA again, and is now a mostly-forgotten name in UFC history. Meanwhile, Pat Miletich went on to become a legendary UFC champion, trainer, and commentator, and Mikey Burnett became legendary for different reasons altogether.


47. Steve Judson (0-2)
First appearance: UFC 22, 9/24/99
Final appearance: UFC 24, 3/10/00
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Like Saunders, Steve Judson‘s MMA career was also limited to two appearances in the UFC, but even if you don’t recognize his name, you’ve probably seen his Octagon debut against Brad Kohler, which lasted exactly 30 seconds and ended in what might be the UFC’s first-ever falling tree knockout. Over a decade later, it’s still considered one of the nastiest knockouts in the promotion’s history. With his jiu-jitsu background, Judson probably had no business standing-and-wanging with a gorilla like Kohler in the first place. Surely he’d play it smarter the next time, right?

Well, not so much. Judson returned to the cage against Tedd Williams six months later, and went into brawl-mode as soon as the bell rang. Williams ate some heavy shots, but kept his head, and when it was his turn to land on Judson, he made it count. Check out the 3:28 mark of this video to see the flurry that finishes Judson for the second and final time of his UFC career. It may not have been as iconic as his loss to Kohler, but the way that Judson stumbles backwards for a few seconds, clearly out on his feet before collapsing against the fence, has a subtle grace all its own.


48. Koji Oishi (0-2)
First appearance: UFC 25, 4/14/00
Final appearance: UFC 53, 6/4/05

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Though he would later enjoy a successful career in Pancrase — and actually held the Lightweight King of Pancrase title from May 2011 through April 2012 — Koji Oishi‘s professional MMA career kicked off at UFC 25: Ultimate Japan 3, where he lost a majority decision to underrated UFC veteran Laverne Clark. Oishi wouldn’t return to the Octagon for another five years, but when he did…well, it was interesting.

Oishi’s game-plan was based on just standing in front of Nick Diaz, flat-footed and nearly motionless, his hands nowhere near his chin, trying to block punches with his own punches. I have to imagine that Oishi eventually planned to SPRING INTO ACTION!, and that his anti-footwork was designed to bait Diaz into dropping his guard. Instead, Diaz savaged him with punches, earning a TKO in less than a minute-and-a-half. It was easily one of the most bizarre matches in the UFC’s modern era. Oishi went back to fighting like a normal person after that loss, and won a decision against Nick’s brother Nate two months later in Japan.


49. Sean Salmon (0-2)
First appearance: UFC Fight Night 8, 1/25/07
Final appearance: UFC 71, 5/26/07

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On the MMA food-chain, there are some fighters who only exist as highlight-reel victims for higher-profile fighters. Sean Salmon is one of those guys. Mention his name to any UFC fan, and they’ll immediately picture Salmon getting head-kicked into the next time zone by Rashad Evans. (There was also this unfortunate moment during the fight.) Sean’s follow-up Octagon appearance — a preliminary card bout against Alan Belcher at UFC 71 — wasn’t quite as memorable, but it still ended in utter failure, as Belcher won by guillotine choke in just 51 seconds. Salmon competed steadily in regional promotions after being released by the UFC, but never really found his groove; his willingness to quit during fights in order to avoid injury certainly didn’t help his prospects. He has lost his last nine fights by first-round stoppage.


50. Joe Vedepo (0-2)
First appearance: UFC Fight Night 15, 9/17/08
Final appearance: UFC Fight Night 18, 4/1/09
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By all accounts, Joe Vedepo was an incredibly talented athlete whose unstable behavior consistently got in the way of his success. From 2001 to 2011, the Iowan wrestler was arrested ten times for public intoxication, and deemed a “habitual offender of the state intoxication law.” Basically, he’s the Caucasian Krazy Horse.

Vedepo was signed by the UFC in 2008, but it soon became clear that he wasn’t ready for the big stage. As the honorable mention list on this page further proves, there were dozens of fighters who went 0-2 in their UFC careers, but only a small handful lost both fights by first-round stoppage, and only Joe Vedepo lost both fights by first-round stoppage within the first two minutes. First, there was his gnarly head-kick knockout loss to Alessio Sakara (time of stoppage: 1:27), followed by a guillotine choke loss to Rob Kimmons (time of stoppage: 1:54). Vedepo has gone 5-1 since being released by the UFC, most recently choking out professional record-padder Kenneth Allen. And wherever he is, he’s probably partying his ass off right now.

50 HONORABLE MENTIONS
- Houston Alexander (UFC record: 2-4; come on, he lost to Kimbo for God’s sake)
- Royce Alger (0-2)
- Steve Berger (0-2 with 1 no-contest)
- Luke Caudillo (0-2)
- Alberto Crane (0-2)
- Alexandre Dantas (0-2)
- Marvin Eastman (1-4; all losses by KO/TKO)
- Dan Evensen (0-2; both losses by first-round TKO)
- Brodie Farber (0-2)
- Jesse Forbes (0-3)
- Xavier Foupa-Pokam (0-2)
- Zane Frazier (0-2)
- Leonard Garcia (2-5 officially; should really be 1-6)
- Brian Gassaway (0-1)
- Chase Gormley (0-2; both losses by first-round stoppage)
- Neil Grove (0-1)
- Andre Gusmao (0-2)
- John Halverson (0-2)
- Razak Al-Hassan (0-2)
- Bobby Hoffman (0-2 with 1 no-contest)
- Brad Imes (0-3)
- Kevin Jordan (0-2)
- Scott Junk (0-1)
- David Lee (0-2)
- Justin Levens (0-2; both losses by first-round stoppage)
- Antonio Mendes (0-2; both losses by first-round stoppage)
- Kristof Midoux (0-1)
- Sammy Morgan (0-2; was once destroyed by Josh Burkman in 21 seconds)
- Brad Morris (0-2)
- Harry Moskowitz (0-2)
- Kazuhiro Nakamura (0-2)
- Mario Neto (0-1; sole UFC appearance was a KO loss to Eddie Sanchez)
- Phillipe Nover (0-3)
- Soa Palelei (0-1; sole UFC appearance was a TKO loss to Eddie Sanchez)
- Johnny Rees (0-2)
- Ryan Roberts (0-1)
- Colin Robinson (0-2; first UFC appearance was a TKO loss to Eddie Sanchez. Damn, the Manic Hispanic should have gotten his own page.)
- Fabiano Scherner (0-2)
- Jay Silva (0-2)
- Steve Steinbeiss (0-2)
- Alex Stiebling (0-1; lost a decision to Mark Hughes. Not Matt Hughes, Mark Hughes)
- Denis Stojnic (0-2)
- Tra Telligman (1-4; all losses by stoppage)
- Teila Tuli (0-1)
- Victor Valimaki (0-2)
- Ron Van Clief (0-1)
- Joe Veres (0-2; was actually knocked out by Gray Maynard)
- Cory Walmsley (0-1)
- Keith Wisniewski (0-3)
- Rob Yundt (0-2; both losses by first-round guillotine choke)

Neezar 07-30-2012 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J.B. (Post 193435)
I honestly know who 90% of these guys are without actually reading any of this. It's kinda sad actually.....:laugh:

I didn't know 90% but I was familiar with more of those than I was comfortable with. :unsure-1:


:laugh:

adamt 07-30-2012 11:14 PM

this list has no credibility without mentioning kalib starnes as a fighter


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