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-   -   Forgive or Forget (http://www.matt-hughes.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7404)

BamaGrits84 03-30-2011 08:39 PM

Forgive or Forget
 
I put this under Christianity because my final decision will be sought in scriptures so maybe someone of you have some to share, but please comment even if it is just "What I think" or "what I would do". When I was 16 years old I was robbed at gun point by a rather huge and thuggist man. I mean pistol to my head robbed. And I knew I was set up by this guy that was supposed to be my friend. Well last night my husband spots this not a friend after all guy at the ball field my children now play at with a girl and a baby. A few months before I saw this man at Autozone and I was so frozen I didn't even say anything but I've always wanted to confront him. So last night I had a chance and I froze AGAIN. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to say or even if I should. I don't really feel angry and don't hold anything aagainst him, but my husband kind of thought I should tell the guy hey I've been forgiven by God so I forgive you. To me it is just like hey you did something very not cool and so I'm good with never seeing you again kind of thing. My very dear Godly friend was there too and she even offer to go approach the man with me. But I didn't because I knew if I said anything I really wouldn't be getting anything from it, I would be doing it to embarass him and that would make me wrong. But that leads me to this, if I happen to see him again up there (which is likely considering whoever he was watching is in my son's league) and I can catch him away from a large group, should I confront him?

Tyburn 03-30-2011 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84 (Post 160017)
I put this under Christianity because my final decision will be sought in scriptures so maybe someone of you have some to share, but please comment even if it is just "What I think" or "what I would do". When I was 16 years old I was robbed at gun point by a rather huge and thuggist man. I mean pistol to my head robbed. And I knew I was set up by this guy that was supposed to be my friend. Well last night my husband spots this not a friend after all guy at the ball field my children now play at with a girl and a baby. A few months before I saw this man at Autozone and I was so frozen I didn't even say anything but I've always wanted to confront him. So last night I had a chance and I froze AGAIN. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to say or even if I should. I don't really feel angry and don't hold anything aagainst him, but my husband kind of thought I should tell the guy hey I've been forgiven by God so I forgive you. To me it is just like hey you did something very not cool and so I'm good with never seeing you again kind of thing. My very dear Godly friend was there too and she even offer to go approach the man with me. But I didn't because I knew if I said anything I really wouldn't be getting anything from it, I would be doing it to embarass him and that would make me wrong. But that leads me to this, if I happen to see him again up there (which is likely considering whoever he was watching is in my son's league) and I can catch him away from a large group, should I confront him?

in my opinion...absolutely....Embarrising him is not nice...but nearly getting you killed wasnt very nice either...besides..if your going to tell him he's forgiven..I think that is nicer then what you could say to him under the circumstances

Remember, Forgiven does NOT mean forgotten... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvzx87tVieY

TexasRN 03-31-2011 01:44 AM

In my opinion, leave him alone. He was dangerous enough once to set you up in a situation where you could have been killed. What might he do now? He may be a changed person, but what if he has changed for the worse? Some jerks get more evil with age. Plus, now you have kids. What if he set you up again and this time your kids were there or were threatened? It's not worth it. Everything has to be different when you are a parent and your kids' safety has to be top of the priority list.

Again, this is just my opinion. I won't blame you if you choose another option. I wasn't there and have never lived through that kind of situation.


~Amy

Spiritwalker 03-31-2011 03:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TexasRN (Post 160050)
In my opinion, leave him alone. He was dangerous enough once to set you up in a situation where you could have been killed. What might he do now? He may be a changed person, but what if he has changed for the worse? Some jerks get more evil with age. Plus, now you have kids. What if he set you up again and this time your kids were there or were threatened? It's not worth it. Everything has to be different when you are a parent and your kids' safety has to be top of the priority list.

Again, this is just my opinion. I won't blame you if you choose another option. I wasn't there and have never lived through that kind of situation.


~Amy

+1

BamaGrits84 03-31-2011 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TexasRN (Post 160050)
In my opinion, leave him alone. He was dangerous enough once to set you up in a situation where you could have been killed. What might he do now? He may be a changed person, but what if he has changed for the worse? Some jerks get more evil with age. Plus, now you have kids. What if he set you up again and this time your kids were there or were threatened? It's not worth it. Everything has to be different when you are a parent and your kids' safety has to be top of the priority list.

Again, this is just my opinion. I won't blame you if you choose another option. I wasn't there and have never lived through that kind of situation.


~Amy

That really wasn't something I considered. I could see in his eyes when I saw him at the auot parts store that HE was the one scared now. Not so much of me but I think he is afraid of me exposing him.

TENNESSEAN 03-31-2011 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BamaGrits84 (Post 160095)
That really wasn't something I considered. I could see in his eyes when I saw him at the auot parts store that HE was the one scared now. Not so much of me but I think he is afraid of me exposing him.

he's haunted by his bad decisions win he sees you, he knows what he did.

Twinsmama 03-31-2011 04:09 PM

I'm not a good forgiver or forgetter. It is hard to make me mad enough to the point that I would need to forgive. If someone put a gun to my head I do not believe I could ever forgive them.

What happened after you were robbed? did he get in trouble by the police? is there a record?

Maglorius 03-31-2011 05:10 PM

Yes I think you should confront him and forgive him. The power behind that is immense. It maybe something that has haunted him for a long time and knowing that you don't hold anything against him could be freeing for him. Just remember to pray about it and ask for the courage of the holy spirit.

Just a note, forgiveness and reconciliation don't have to go hand in hand. Forgiveness just has to come from one party, but reconciliation has to come from all parties and the willingness to accept forgiveness and offer an apology back.

rearnakedchoke 03-31-2011 06:24 PM

your husband is a good man for not gat clapping the fool ... i'd say don't even bother, if he is mean enough to set you up once, he can do it again ... not you have kids ...

County Mike 03-31-2011 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TexasRN (Post 160050)
In my opinion, leave him alone. He was dangerous enough once to set you up in a situation where you could have been killed. What might he do now? He may be a changed person, but what if he has changed for the worse? Some jerks get more evil with age. Plus, now you have kids. What if he set you up again and this time your kids were there or were threatened? It's not worth it. Everything has to be different when you are a parent and your kids' safety has to be top of the priority list.

Again, this is just my opinion. I won't blame you if you choose another option. I wasn't there and have never lived through that kind of situation.


~Amy

+2

Unless of course, you know someone who could simply "take care of him". Maybe Donna Maria can help you with that.


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