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VCURamFan 01-20-2014 08:08 PM

27 Ways to Know You’re Part of the MMA Media

From ():

The MMA media is a diverse bunch, ranging from actual professionals to despicable bottom-feeders like us. However, there are trials and tribulations that we can all relate to, and which ultimately unite us. For example…

1. You’ve been called a Zuffa shill whenever you say something positive about the UFC.

2. You’ve been called an anti-Zuffa hack whenever you say anything negative about the UFC.

3. You complain about all the free UFC events you have to watch on cable.

4. You abide by the list of topics to not talk about.

5. A fighter had threatened to slap your or otherwise cause you bodily harm. A fighter has motorboated you.

7. A fighter has humped you. You’ve seen the word “exclusive” used so many times that it has lost all meaning.

9. You never leave home without your tape recorder, notepad, fake nose, and shock pen.

10. You show a ridiculous bias towards any fighter who gave you a nice interview

11. You show a ridiculous bias against any fighter who gave you a •••• interview.

12. Zuffa PR people have complained to you about how you keep using unflattering pictures of Dana White in your articles about him. [Ed. note: Yes, this actually happened to a member of the CP staff.]

13. You spend more time looking for semi-related GIFS than you do
verifying your sources.

14. Jonathan Snowden has insulted you on twitter.

15. You have a staunch opinion on whether @FrontRowBrian is a hero or villain.

16. You’ve awkwardly sexted with a female fighter.

17. Dana White has threatened to “•••• you worse than you’ve ever been ••••ed.”

18. You’ve wanted to discuss the intricacies of the business with friends and family but then realized that nobody outside the MMA bubble gives a •••• about MMA, let alone the hacks like us who write about it.

19. Every time you look at your paycheck, you wonder why you didn’t just stay in law school.

20. Your articles have been viciously picked apart on the UG and r/MMA••••theug.jpg

21. You ranked Chael Sonnen as the #2 light heavyweight in the world when you compiled your “official UFC rankings.”

22. You secretly realize that the “official UFC rankings” are total dog••••.

23. You’ve been leg-kicked on the job.

24. You’re terrified of Brian D’Souza and Tim Marchman‘s attempts to expose the business.

25. You’ve worn a fighter’s shirt when attending an event as a media member.

26. A fellow reporter has challenged you to a fight — and immediately backed down, deleting the Facebook comments in which he made his challenge.

27. You only do this as a hobby, c***.

Neezar 01-21-2014 03:46 AM


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