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VCURamFan 04-26-2013 05:39 PM

Sit down, relax, and listen to the story of how Chael Sonnen met his girlfriend


Chael Sonnen approaches the English language as if every word stole his grade-school lunch and the only way he can exert revenge is to combine the most whimsical expressions and aim it directly at one person, usually Anderson Silva. Sonnen lays the verbal smackdown like Lindsay Lohan violates parole, flawlessly.

This Chael Sonnen and his unfiltered stream of consciousness. If only there was some quantifiable way to measure the veracity of smack-talk emerging from this guy's mouth. The energy could power a household of five, a fleet of Chevrolet Impalas and the server for an entire year. You can never call Chael Sonnen a liar, even when a person that sounds like him calls into a radio show and does an interview claiming Lance Armstrong gave himself cancer. It's not called lying when NCAA Division I All-American wrestlers from West Linn, Oregon are involved. More along the lines of 'cleverly elaborated stories' that may conflict with a previous story.

We're assuming Chael Sonnen's story of how he met his girlfriend is true, but even if it isn't, it's still true. It may seem paradoxical to some, but if it does, it's only because those few people have never encountered Chael Sonnen. Check out this AXE commercial of Sonnen retelling the story of how he met Brittany Smith.

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