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View Full Version : 10 Signs You Are an MMA Hipster


VCURamFan
04-17-2012, 04:27 PM
From BloodyElbow.com:

http://cdn2.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1042908/hipster-cat_medium.jpg (http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1042908/hipster-cat.jpg)

"Hipster" is an enigmatic appelation. Part of the problem is that one of the core requirements for being a hipster is that you must categorically deny that you are a hipster. Indeed, calling yourself a hipster is -- ironically enough -- one of the only proven ways to demonstrate that you aren't one.

As the name has worked its way deeper into our lexicon, it's not enough just to be a hipster anymore. You've got music hipsters, film hipsters, book hipsters, and of course, MMA hipsters. Since -- as we've already discussed -- self-awareness is paradoxically impossible for those afflicted with this 21st Century malady, I thought I'd put together this helpful list of 10 signs that you, or someone you know, may be an MMA hipster.

10) You can make a convincing, passionate case for a non-Zuffa fighter being the best in the world in one of the UFC's established weight classes (give yourself a bonus point if that fighter is Japanese).

9) You un-ironically refer to the majority of MMA fans as the "The Just Bleed Crowd."

8) You have a "favorite submission" (give yourself a bonus point if it ends in "-plata").

7) You watch NCAA wrestling tournaments to scout for talent.

6) You've been known to begin sentences with: "well, under Pride rules..."

5) The term "lay-and-pray" makes you angry (give yourself a bonus point if you reflexively respond to any mention of LnP with a gif of Leonard Garcia (http://www.sbnation.com/mma/fighter/122477/leonard-garcia) and the tagline "STANDNBANG").

4) You can say the following sentence with a straight face: "You know sometimes I prefer a good, technical grinding decision to a highlight reel finish." (give yourself five bonus points if you've said something similar after watching a Jon Fitch (http://www.sbnation.com/mma/fighter/122576/jon-fitch) fight).

3) You have helped twitter bomb an MMA promoter into booking a fight (1 bonus point if it was for someone other than Mark Hunt (http://www.sbnation.com/mma/fighter/122607/mark-hunt); 10 bonus points if it was a promoter other than Dana White).

2) Your reflexive response when you hear that a heavyweight fighter needs an opponent is to type "MINOWAMAN" and do a google search for this picture:
http://cdn3.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1042899/43f93ca8_medium_medium.jpg (http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1042899/43f93ca8_medium.jpg)

...and of course

1) You are a member in good standing at Bloody Elbow.

flo
04-17-2012, 06:40 PM
:laugh: Loved it!!! Nice find.

VCURamFan
04-17-2012, 07:47 PM
According to my tally, I scored 6.5 points in their test:
8) You have a "favorite submission" (give yourself a bonus point if it ends in "-plata"). +1 – I love me a good triangle

7) You watch NCAA wrestling tournaments to scout for talent. + 0.5 - I do watch the wrestling tourneys when I catch ‘em, but not to scout talent, just because I enjoy the high level wrestling.

6) You've been known to begin sentences with: "well, under Pride rules..." +1 – I still think knees to the head should be OK to a guy on his knees

5) The term "lay-and-pray" makes you angry (give yourself a bonus point if you reflexively respond to any mention of LnP with a gif of Leonard Garcia (http://www.sbnation.com/mma/fighter/122477/leonard-garcia) and the tagline "STANDNBANG"). +1 – I worked hard to take you down. You wanna be on your feet, it’s your job to work just as hard to stand back up, not the ref’s. If two guys stand & stare at each other without throwing a punch for 20sec, you never hear the ref say “I’m gonna put y’all on the ground if I don’t see more action!”


4) You can say the following sentence with a straight face: "You know sometimes I prefer a good, technical grinding decision to a highlight reel finish." (give yourself five bonus points if you've said something similar after watching a Jon Fitch (http://www.sbnation.com/mma/fighter/122576/jon-fitch) fight). + 0.5 – I don’t prefer it over a HL finish, but I do really appreciate a strong technical performance (+2 because I usually end up commenting on Fitch’s solid technique after his fights).

3) You have helped twitter bomb an MMA promoter into booking a fight (1 bonus point if it was for someone other than Mark Hunt (http://www.sbnation.com/mma/fighter/122607/mark-hunt); 10 bonus points if it was a promoter other than Dana White). + 0.5 – I twitter bombed Dana to make the Ultimate Matt Hughes DVD collection. He asked at one point who the next “Ultimate” DVD should be about & flooded him with “You most recent HOFer” “He’s got your favorite fight of all time” “He’s got the most UFC wins ever, tons of stuff to pick from!”, etc., etc., etc. You’re welcome!

1 + 0.5 + 1 + 1 + 0.5 + 2 + 0.5 = 6.5

amills
04-17-2012, 10:35 PM
If two guys stand & stare at each other without throwing a punch for 20sec, you never hear the ref say Im gonna put yall on the ground if I dont see more action!

+1

How 'bout if you have over 5000 posts on a MMA fighter's forum?

amills
04-17-2012, 10:37 PM
I suppose HLUK could be the japanese way to spell Hulk. I'll give Minowa-man the benefit of the doubt any time. Who needs to be able to spell when you can kneebar someone twice your weight, anyway?