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BamaGrits84
04-08-2010, 03:50 PM
This is just plain funny. I was sent it a few years ago, added a couple, and then some folks for the "Addicted to the UFC" group on Facebook added some. Fell free to add one too so I can keep growing my list!

You Know you're an MMA addict when...

- You ditch a date with a hottie to watch a UFC event instead of taking them with you because you don't want to be distracted.

-You're faced with a tough decision, and you ask yourself, "What would Forrest do in this situation?"

-You call in sick and miss a day's pay to watch a fight.

-you think any situation can be handled with a triangle choke

-when someone makes a decision you ask is that unanimous, split, or majority.

-You blame all your problems on the judges.

-whenever you hear the word Salmon you think of the fighter not the fish.

-You dream that you're the next Ultimate Fighter, only to wake up to your spouse screaming because you've got them in a triangle...and you still hold until they taps.

-Any time you see a conflict between two people, You confirm that each party is ready

-When you decide to just start knocking people out to move up the ranks at work

-whenever you hit your head on something and you notice your bleeding, then suddenly you start thinking where’s the cut man?

-when you get in a street fight you submit them......

-You turn a deal sealing business hand shake, into a devastating, deal shattering, arm bar.

-when your friends avoid hanging out with you because they know you have a new submission you want to try on them

-You tell you wife that she's in the light heavy weight division and she grounds and pounds you.

-You've wasted half your work day on ufc sites. (some of this is yall)

-you refuse to go anywhere without your favorite piece of music playing and an entourage of trainers following you

-You carry your mouthgaurd to all places you go.

-when you pick fights with people because you've convinced your self merely watching the ufc makes you a bad ass and you’re just sure you can make anyone tap

-when your own more tapout shirts than underwear and socks

-when you think it's a good idea to get a snap tap or nap tattoo.

-and finally when you have to explain to your kid's preschool teacher why he's putting other kids in the rear naked choke (<---- this one was mine).

And just a funny add in - my oldest son's name is Matthew. My 5 year old tell tells his bother "I'm gonna start callin' you "MattHughes" istead of "matthew".

rearnakedchoke
04-08-2010, 06:45 PM
Those are good .. i am sure we can come up with some more on here ....

When someone makes a bad decision at work, you say they pulled a "Cecil Peoples"
You use the term "elusive" way too much in regular conversation ..


will think of more later ...

Spiritwalker
04-08-2010, 07:14 PM
If you talk about someones promotion at work being a "metoric rise" through the company..

TexasRN
04-08-2010, 07:21 PM
When you find yourself daydreaming about knocking somone out at work and hearing Joe Rogan's voice in your head saying, "Right on the button!"

When your first thought as a lotto winner is to find out how much it would cost to have Bruce Buffer announce your presence everywhere you go.

When you start pummeling during a friendly hug with the significant other to get double underhooks.

When you notice the Hayabusa shorts curse......:ninja: (I swear it's true.)

http://www.groundandpound.com/product_p/hayabusa-fightshorts.htm
Wear these shorts and you lose. I've watched this trend for a couple of years now since I own them in white....I will NOT wear them in competition.


~Amy

BamaGrits84
04-08-2010, 07:46 PM
When you find yourself daydreaming about knocking somone out at work and hearing Joe Rogan's voice in your head saying, "Right on the button!"

When your first thought as a lotto winner is to find out how much it would cost to have Bruce Buffer announce your presence everywhere you go.


:funny:

Spiritwalker
04-08-2010, 07:54 PM
When you ask your friends to come up with a "ring name" for you.

BamaGrits84
04-08-2010, 08:01 PM
When someone starts to argue around you and you seperate them an arm span and ask both "you ready?"

When you think foreplay is practicing submission moves on your hubby/wifey.

BamaGrits84
04-08-2010, 08:04 PM
Oh I can't believe I forgot this one...

When you sponsor your child's t-ball team so you can name it "team tapout" and have the kids were tapout shirts as jerseys.

When you name your softball team "Hit Squad" and laugh at people who think it has anything to do with batting.

Black Mamba
04-08-2010, 11:24 PM
_when your friends avoid hanging out with you because they know you have a new submission you want to try on them

-when your own more tapout (in my case MMA Elite shirts) shirts than underwear and socks

Guilty :Whistle:

I'm also guilty of looking at people's weak spots and figuring out the best possible moves just incase they start to go crazy.

rearnakedchoke
04-09-2010, 01:14 AM
Everyday at the end of work you yell "It's Aaaaalll Oveerr!!!"

County Mike
04-09-2010, 10:47 AM
Recently used this one:

I tought my 1 yr old nephew to head butt in a playful way. I'd say "Heeeeeaaaad butt" and we would gently bump heads. Well, he head-butted my sister's nose when she wasn't ready and she complained to me.

I said "Protect yourself at all times".

She didn't laugh.

TexasRN
04-09-2010, 04:33 PM
Recently used this one:

I tought my 1 yr old nephew to head butt in a playful way. I'd say "Heeeeeaaaad butt" and we would gently bump heads. Well, he head-butted my sister's nose when she wasn't ready and she complained to me.

I said "Protect yourself at all times".

She didn't laugh.


:laugh: Awesome.


~Amy