View Full Version : Chuck Norris facts

02-15-2009, 08:04 PM
We've been doing this on Facebook. Here are my favorites:

Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that beats a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Chuck Norris can sing a 4 part harmony.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter

and my all-time fave:

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just called the Islands..:laugh:

Feel free to add!

02-15-2009, 10:06 PM
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer...To bad he never crys

02-15-2009, 10:34 PM
If Chuck Norris ever has sex with men, it's not because he's gay, it's beause he's run out of women.

02-15-2009, 10:56 PM
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

02-15-2009, 11:05 PM
Chuck Norris's beard does not cover his chin: it hides another fist.

02-16-2009, 12:42 AM
The boogeyman checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.

02-16-2009, 01:10 AM
The last thing to go through a bad guy's mind as Chuck Norris kills them is his boot.

02-16-2009, 04:19 AM
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

There is no CTRL button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control!

If you spell ChuckNorris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head

02-16-2009, 04:38 AM
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

02-16-2009, 04:43 AM
If Jack Bauer were gay, he would be Chuck Norris

02-16-2009, 06:31 AM
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

02-16-2009, 06:36 AM
Whom is Chuck Norris? :unsure-1: He's just a guy in old movies, right?