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RG8144
12-09-2009, 07:21 PM
My wife and I just had our ultra-sound this morning and found out we are having a little girl! Based on wives tales and such we were pretty sure it was a boy...so now my world has been rocked...in an awesome way! I must admit that raising a daughter as a first child is a bit more daunting than the thought of raising a first child as a boy.

I am new to this...I have a lot of great examples of good parenting in my life, but I wanted to see if anyone here has some good input, advice or even resources for a new father who is raising a girl and wants to do so in a God-honoring way...

I guess I could throw a couple questions out there that I have in mind initially:

1. What are the biggest challenges & blessings of having a daughter?
2. What are some of the most significant differences between raising a boy and a girl?
3. What are 1-3 of the best parenting resources or pieces of advice you use or would offer?
4. If you were a teenage boy would you be scared of me? (I think I posted a pic somewhere around here! haha)

Blmfighter
12-09-2009, 07:41 PM
I have three girls 1,3, and 4 years old.

1> Letting them be girls, buying pink stuff and not treating them like boys.

2> Never had boys, however going by kids of friends. Girls are easier and don't tend to rip your house apart.

3> Understand that they donít think like you.
Spend good time with them. Donít just watch T.V. while they play. Interact with them.
Let them know that you love them and are proud of them.

4> Sorry, never saw the pic. When I was a teenage boy I was not smart enough to be scared of anyone.

County Mike
12-09-2009, 08:02 PM
I hear ya brother. We find out on Friday if we're having a boy or a girl. I'm scared to death of having a girl first. Not saying I wouldn't love her unconditionally. Just saying I'd be extra worried about her all the time.

I have no experience, so I'm afraid I have no worthwhile advice. Best of luck to you though.

Twinsmama
12-09-2009, 08:33 PM
I have twins, a boy and a girl. I think the advice about not treating her like a boy is good advice. My boy loves being outside, mudding , fishing and getting dirty. My girl does too but she also like being in the house helping me cook. My boy will only help cook if he is using something that has a motor (mixer). Girls still like to do boy stuff but they also like girl stuff. Pretty her up with lots of pink and girlie things. I agree that you will need to do girl stuff with her.

The biggest difference is the affect she will have on you! A little girl will melt a daddy's heart and a little boy makes a daddy so proud. You'll know what I mean......

PS Your Dr called Mike and confirmed it is 2 girls!!!haha

NateR
12-09-2009, 08:33 PM
My wife and I just had our ultra-sound this morning and found out we are having a little girl! Based on wives tales and such we were pretty sure it was a boy...so now my world has been rocked...in an awesome way! I must admit that raising a daughter as a first child is a bit more daunting than the thought of raising a first child as a boy.

I am new to this...I have a lot of great examples of good parenting in my life, but I wanted to see if anyone here has some good input, advice or even resources for a new father who is raising a girl and wants to do so in a God-honoring way...

I guess I could throw a couple questions out there that I have in mind initially:

1. What are the biggest challenges & blessings of having a daughter?
2. What are some of the most significant differences between raising a boy and a girl?
3. What are 1-3 of the best parenting resources or pieces of advice you use or would offer?
4. If you were a teenage boy would you be scared of me? (I think I posted a pic somewhere around here! haha)

I don't have kids, so any info I have come from observing parents with their kids or reading about the topic. However, I did hear an interesting bit of advice from a Christian child psychologist a while back. This won't be anything to worry about until your daughter reaches puberty, but it is something to keep in mind.

Many fathers enjoy being affectionate with their daughters and maintaining a high level of closeness and physical contact (non-sexual, of course) while their girls are young. However, once the daughter starts menstruating, then many dads pull away, worrying that the same level of affection is inappropriate. This sudden emotional cutting-off from her dad can lead to feelings of confusion and rejection in the young girl right at a time in her life when she needs to feel unconditional acceptance the most.

What this study showed was that teenage girls whose fathers did NOT pull away from them during puberty become sexually active much later in life, than girls whose fathers did pull away.

Like I said, not something to worry about now.

TexasRN
12-09-2009, 09:18 PM
I have a boy and a girl. My advice is to treat your daughter like an individual according to her personality. Some girls are girly and some are very tomboyish. Both are fine. Love her, be there for her, and model a good marriage for her with your wife so she knows women should be treated well by their husbands and both should respect the other.

I particularly liked T Berry Brazelton for child advice books. He was very common sense and down to earth.
http://books.google.com/books?as_auth=T+Berry+Brazelton&source=an&ei=oBMgS5L5GMKelAe6j8zoBQ&sa=X&oi=book_group&ct=title&cad=author-navigational&resnum=4&ved=0CBoQsAMwAw

The other resources I'd use are the Bible and other church families who have good relationships with their teenage and/or grown children.

I agree with what NateR said with regards to puberty and teen girls. She will need affection from a male source. Let that male be YOU (appropriately-obviously) so that she doesn't seek it elsewhere. Let her always know she can talk to you and she will always be "daddy's girl" no matter what and that you're proud of her.


~Amy

CAVEMAN
12-09-2009, 09:24 PM
My wife and I have 3 girls and a boy. The boy is our youngest. My best advice when it comes to the girls is to make sure you spend plenty of time with them. Read books with them, dance with them, and attend their tea parties!:laugh: Make sure they know you love them. And Nate is right, don't pull away from them when they get to be teenagers. It is that time in life when they need their father the most. And lastly, keep a Louisville Slugger by the door for those pesky boy friends.:laugh:

TexasRN
12-09-2009, 09:27 PM
My dad had a small cannon that my uncle gave him that he'd cart out for every new bf I had. :laugh:


~Amy

CAVEMAN
12-09-2009, 09:39 PM
My dad had a small cannon that my uncle gave him that he'd cart out for every new bf I had. :laugh:


~Amy

:laugh: Yeah, I believe that would of freaked me out a bit! :laugh:

TENNESSEAN
12-09-2009, 10:30 PM
thanks for that post Nate. it makes a lot of sense.


I have two seven year old girls. they are polar opposites. one loves dance and dressing up the other loves animals and cowgirl type stuff.


my advice would be to encourage them to try things, find out what they love and be a huge part of that. on any given weekend im taking one girl to dog agility trials during the day and that night im wearing a suit at a ballroom dance competition. its tons of fun.

another thing I like is camping. take your kids camping as often as possible. old school camping sleeping bags and tents no elec. sitting around a fire just the wife and kids its awesome. there's something about a campfire that makes kids open up and talk about everything that's on their little minds even at seven years old. last time we went camping I was amazed at the stories about the happenings of 1st grade. nothing alarming but they grow up way to fast. next time you have 4 or 5 hours to burn call me I will tell you all about my girls.

don't sweat the girl thing buddy, love her be a part of every thing she loves its great. life is just getting started for you.

CAMPO
12-09-2009, 10:34 PM
My wife and I just had our ultra-sound this morning and found out we are having a little girl! Based on wives tales and such we were pretty sure it was a boy...so now my world has been rocked...in an awesome way! I must admit that raising a daughter as a first child is a bit more daunting than the thought of raising a first child as a boy.

I am new to this...I have a lot of great examples of good parenting in my life, but I wanted to see if anyone here has some good input, advice or even resources for a new father who is raising a girl and wants to do so in a God-honoring way...

I guess I could throw a couple questions out there that I have in mind initially:

1. What are the biggest challenges & blessings of having a daughter?
2. What are some of the most significant differences between raising a boy and a girl?
3. What are 1-3 of the best parenting resources or pieces of advice you use or would offer?
4. If you were a teenage boy would you be scared of me? (I think I posted a pic somewhere around here! haha)


First...CONGRATS!! How wonderful :) I one day hope to be a mommy...and of course dream of a baby girl. Not a parent yet, so I can't give much advice on parenting, but here is a little insight from what I learned growing up:

> BE THERE! I was without a father (he chose to leave my mother when she was preggo...they were not married & met him much later in life) I did have a great gpa (but he did shy away when I hit my teens...and it took a few years to build it back up again.)

> Be involved - if she likes ballet, take her to classes & see her recitals! Get excited about her tu-tus! Give her the opportunity to do what you like to...take her fishing, let her see for herself if she likes... She could be 100% Girly-girl but at least give her the opportunity to figure that out.

> Tell her you LOVE HER!!! I know I needed to hear it more than I did, so look her in the eyes when you do, kiss her forehead. Cuddle with her when she has a bad dream, and (like someone else said) get excited about her tea parties (....or barbies, or my little ponies....)

I know most of this is as she becomes a toddler, and little girl...but when she is a newborn hold her, rock her to sleep, get up with her in the middle of the night and feed her so mommy can rest.

Be supportive that your wife needs her alone time to recharge...that alone will speak volumes to your little angel, knowing her daddy loves her mommy & appreciates his wife, even if it means mommy only is taking a bubble bath.

Congrats to you both!!! The fact that you WANT advice shows you will be an amazing parent :) :wub::biggrin-1:

>

CAMPO
12-09-2009, 10:35 PM
I don't have kids, so any info I have come from observing parents with their kids or reading about the topic. However, I did hear an interesting bit of advice from a Christian child psychologist a while back. This won't be anything to worry about until your daughter reaches puberty, but it is something to keep in mind.

Many fathers enjoy being affectionate with their daughters and maintaining a high level of closeness and physical contact (non-sexual, of course) while their girls are young. However, once the daughter starts menstruating, then many dads pull away, worrying that the same level of affection is inappropriate. This sudden emotional cutting-off from her dad can lead to feelings of confusion and rejection in the young girl right at a time in her life when she needs to feel unconditional acceptance the most.

What this study showed was that teenage girls whose fathers did NOT pull away from them during puberty become sexually active much later in life, than girls whose fathers did pull away.

Like I said, not something to worry about now.


Def great advise!!!!

MattHughesRocks
12-09-2009, 10:35 PM
I never had a girl but I sure remember being one!:scared0011: ( I'm a woman now so no smart alec remarks people:laugh:)

When she gets to about 9, all you can do is put her in a closet, lock the door and run!Go back in and get her when she's 28. It's your only hope!:frantics:

TENNESSEAN
12-09-2009, 10:49 PM
I never had a girl but I sure remember being one!:scared0011: ( I'm a woman now so no smart alec remarks people:laugh:)

When she gets to about 9, all you can do is put her in a closet, lock the door and run!Go back in and get her when she's 28. It's your only hope!:frantics:

mhr the eternal optimist:laugh:
do you need to be cuddled

MattHughesRocks
12-09-2009, 10:52 PM
Absolutely :laugh:


mhr the eternal optimist:laugh:
do you need to be cuddled

TENNESSEAN
12-09-2009, 10:54 PM
Absolutely :laugh:

call chuck:laugh:

Shoots like a girl
12-10-2009, 03:46 AM
I have a 14 year old daughter so maybe you dont even wanna hear from me! LOL!!! I completely agree with Amy on letting her be an individual. With boys you can count on them liking super heroes and fast cars.(I have a boy too). But with girls they each so unique that you really dont know what you are going to get. You could have a girly girl (mine is in love with Taylor Lautner from Twilight) that loves to kill deer( and shes reallly bummed because she hasnt gotten one yet). Girls are alot of work but so much joy as well. No matter who you end up with she will bless your family! Good luck!

I have a boy and a girl. My advice is to treat your daughter like an individual according to her personality. Some girls are girly and some are very tomboyish. Both are fine. Love her, be there for her, and model a good marriage for her with your wife so she knows women should be treated well by their husbands and both should respect the other.

I particularly liked T Berry Brazelton for child advice books. He was very common sense and down to earth.
http://books.google.com/books?as_auth=T+Berry+Brazelton&source=an&ei=oBMgS5L5GMKelAe6j8zoBQ&sa=X&oi=book_group&ct=title&cad=author-navigational&resnum=4&ved=0CBoQsAMwAw

The other resources I'd use are the Bible and other church families who have good relationships with their teenage and/or grown children.

I agree with what NateR said with regards to puberty and teen girls. She will need affection from a male source. Let that male be YOU (appropriately-obviously) so that she doesn't seek it elsewhere. Let her always know she can talk to you and she will always be "daddy's girl" no matter what and that you're proud of her.


~Amy

Shoots like a girl
12-10-2009, 03:50 AM
Oh and your last question...........when I was young NO guy was afraid of my dad. But he didnt have to be scary. My brother was Special Forces and thats all he had to say!

flo
12-10-2009, 04:30 AM
We don't have kids so don't have any insight but would like to say

Congratulations!!!

to you and your wife...same to Mike & his wife.

Bonnie
12-10-2009, 05:32 AM
Congratulations :)

Everybody's advice is all good and it looks like we have some really great daddies here.

And Mike, dear, dear Mike.....get ready! :laugh:

Silverback
12-10-2009, 08:49 AM
Congratulations on the future bundle of joy, I wish that I could tell you something about raising girls but after four boy's it wasn't meant to be. My son's are my world, but as they get older they become men and grow away from being Daddy's little boy . But a daughter is always her Daddy's little girl,and that my friend is why I will en vie you. No matter, girl or boy, they will change your life forever, some times you may think, it is not worth it , yes it is, are you going to have all the answer's, no, but that's the journey, and this is what your going on. I ask you for one thing my friend, tell me how it feel's when you have that first dance with her at the father/ daughter dance, I just got to know.:)

CAVEMAN
12-11-2009, 05:08 PM
I never had a girl but I sure remember being one!:scared0011: ( I'm a woman now so no smart alec remarks people:laugh:)

When she gets to about 9, all you can do is put her in a closet, lock the door and run!Go back in and get her when she's 28. It's your only hope!:frantics:

Is that what your parents did to you?:scared0011::)

County Mike
12-11-2009, 06:06 PM
Looks like it's a girl for us too. Just found out this morning.

Chris F
12-12-2009, 02:20 AM
I did not read anyone elses advice but I ma sure it is all good.

I have 2 girls 12 and 14. They were great. They have different personalities so raising them has been different. But it was easy up until puberty started. Now I have to crack down. They are great and a blessing. My advice is learn their personality God gives them and adjust as needed. Raising boys is something I know nothing about so I can't compare it. God bless and congratulations.

MattHughesRocks
12-12-2009, 04:20 AM
Congratulations Mike!

Looks like it's a girl for us too. Just found out this morning.

MattHughesRocks
12-12-2009, 04:21 AM
Heck no! I was running wild.That's why I say lock her away :laugh:


Is that what your parents did to you?:scared0011::)

Oddtodd76
12-12-2009, 02:31 PM
Having girls is God's little way of saying "payback's a beach". Now you get to worry what those boys are thinking when they get into highschool! Believe me! I have two daughters. One is just getting ready to turn 13 going on 30.

Miss Foxy
12-12-2009, 06:53 PM
I have a boy 6 and a girl 12.. Although each child is different here's what I noticed. As an infant my son was way more calmer!! As as toddler he was less fussy. However school age my daughter is more on task and focused than he was. On the flip side she is soooo freakin emotional he does not fuss about the little things like she does!!!!:angry: Girls are more close to Daddy!! Girls are way more $$$$..Either way good luck!!

RG8144
12-14-2009, 05:21 PM
Looks like it's a girl for us too. Just found out this morning.

Awesome Mike!! Quite a trip right? :blink:

Thanks for all the input everyone. Really some great stuff and makes me feel a bit less intimidated about parenting a daughter!

County Mike
12-14-2009, 06:02 PM
Awesome Mike!! Quite a trip right? :blink:

Thanks for all the input everyone. Really some great stuff and makes me feel a bit less intimidated about parenting a daughter!

Thanks. I'm still scared. :cry:

RG8144
12-14-2009, 08:09 PM
Thanks. I'm still scared. :cry:

ok...yeah me too, a little. :scared0015:

Just realized our due dates are within the week of each other. Ours is May 1'st!

Twinsmama
12-14-2009, 08:37 PM
You scared a girl is gonna have you wrapped? :laugh: Soon you will meet your match.

Don't be scared. It will be the best thing that has happened to you yet! You'll be even more excited when you can start feeling the baby move. Both my kids responded to my husbands voice first when they were born.....wait they still don't listen to me!:laugh: My daughter was sick today and stayed home w/ my husband. When I left my big manly husband was playing school!!!:laugh:

Shoots like a girl
12-14-2009, 10:21 PM
Girls are not for wimps, thats for sure! Good luck guys, Im sure you will do great! :)

ok...yeah me too, a little. :scared0015:

Just realized our due dates are within the week of each other. Ours is May 1'st!

RG8144
12-15-2009, 06:28 PM
You scared a girl is gonna have you wrapped? :laugh: Soon you will meet your match.

Don't be scared. It will be the best thing that has happened to you yet! You'll be even more excited when you can start feeling the baby move. Both my kids responded to my husbands voice first when they were born.....wait they still don't listen to me!:laugh: My daughter was sick today and stayed home w/ my husband. When I left my big manly husband was playing school!!!:laugh:


Yeah, I am just as worried she will have me so enamoured that I will spoil her rotten as I am about the challenges of actually raising her!

Just starting to feel her move over the last week. It is AMAZING to know that their is life in there!

Girls are not for wimps, thats for sure! Good luck guys, Im sure you will do great! :)

I am up for the challenge! I have doubled my time in the gym and also picked up a 300lb. tire to flip around the driveway. Haha. Now just to take the steps to ensure I dont become a whimp in other areas...like...mental, spiritual...and provision. The girls gonna want to shop right? :unsure:

Shoots like a girl
12-15-2009, 08:10 PM
I am up for the challenge! I have doubled my time in the gym and also picked up a 300lb. tire to flip around the driveway. Haha. Now just to take the steps to ensure I dont become a whimp in other areas...like...mental, spiritual...and provision. The girls gonna want to shop right? :unsure:[/QUOTE]


I dont know..........my girl likes to be in a tree stand, now we are worried that she will want hunt with boyfriends insted of dad! Her dad cant stand the thoughts of her in the tree stand with ANOTHER MAN! :punch: