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View Full Version : What are women good for????


Mark
10-31-2009, 05:51 AM
I thought I would start this so all the women could tell the things that they think they are good for. I don't think that it will happen but only list five things in a post. The men are more than welcome to post things that they think women are good for.

Mark
10-31-2009, 05:52 AM
I thought I would go first. My wife is really good at chasing rabbits out of the brush when we go rabbit huntn. Im a pretty good shot, Ive only hit her two times with shot. And she is getn better at cleaning them too.

bradwright
10-31-2009, 05:57 AM
my wife is real good at fetching me things,like beer for instance.:)

NateR
10-31-2009, 05:57 AM
I thought I would go first. My wife is really good at chasing rabbits out of the brush when we go rabbit huntn. Im a pretty good shot, Ive only hit her two times with shot. And she is getn better at cleaning them too.

:laugh:

Well, the only time I ever regret not getting married is on laundry day. So, I guess women are good for doing laundry. :wink:

Neezar
10-31-2009, 05:59 AM
Well the first one that comes to mind for me is women are good for entertainment value. For example, when I go to shopping with my girlfriends I always see if I can get them to carry my bags. I have been quite creative over the last couple of years. And only ONE girlfriend has stopped in the mall, stomped her foot and said, "How do I always end up carrying your bags?!"


:laugh:

Mark
10-31-2009, 05:59 AM
my wife is real good at fetching me things,like beer for instance.:)

You my friend bring up a good point. You are so right.

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:01 AM
Well the first one that comes to mind for me is women are good for entertainment value. For example, when I go to shopping with my girlfriends I always see if I can get them to carry my bags. I have been quite creative over the last couple of years. And only ONE girlfriend has stopped in the mall, stomped her foot and said, "How do I always end up carrying your bags?!"


:laugh:

Thats good. But I bet she wasnt smart enough to stop doing it.

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:02 AM
My wife is really good at not mowing the lawn . She is even better at not checking the oil in her truck . She is the absolute BEST at handing me a 5/8 wrench when i ask for a 9/16

Play The Man
10-31-2009, 06:05 AM
I thought I would go first. My wife is really good at chasing rabbits out of the brush when we go rabbit huntn. Im a pretty good shot, Ive only hit her two times with shot. And she is getn better at cleaning them too.

Mark, I hope your wife doesn't read the posts on this forum or you might be sleeping on the couch for a few nights.:fryingpan:

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:05 AM
My wife is really good at not mowing the lawn . She is even better at not checking the oil in her truck . She is the absolute BEST at handing me a 5/8 wrench when i ask for a 9/16

Wrong thred Mac. We could go on and on about what they are not good at. Think positive and try again.

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:07 AM
Mark, I hope your wife doesn't read the posts on this forum or you might be sleeping on the couch for a few nights.:fryingpan:

She is also good at going to sleep early.

bradwright
10-31-2009, 06:07 AM
when i'm running low on groceries she go's to the store and fetches some more.
she keeps quiet when i'm watching sports on TV.:)

bradwright
10-31-2009, 06:08 AM
My wife is really good at not mowing the lawn . She is even better at not checking the oil in her truck . She is the absolute BEST at handing me a 5/8 wrench when i ask for a 9/16

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:09 AM
Wrong thred Mac. We could go on and on about what they are not good at. Think positive and try again.

She is good at Making Bacon just the way i like it and as soon as i ask for it .

She is good at cleaning up my muddy boot tracks when i dont bother removing my hunting boots when i come home.

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:11 AM
ohh and she is really good at warming my hands up unexpectedly when i sneak up behind her when shes asleep and stick my freezing hands on her back .

She is also really good at cooking whatever i shoot and bring home .

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:14 AM
She is really good at being an ass to smack when im feelin frisky.

Shes also really good at being a pair of ............................................ ok , ive said enough lol

mikthehick
10-31-2009, 06:17 AM
The answer you guys want to hear is....

women are good for cooking, cleaning, serving YOU, raising children to carry on the family name, and etc.

What I think doesn't matter because I'm a female :cool:

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:19 AM
The answer you guys want to hear is....

women are good for cooking, cleaning, serving YOU, raising children to carry on the family name, and etc.

What I think doesn't matter because I'm a female :cool:


good answers



while we are ont he topic ,

why do women wear white to the wedding ???


So they will match the rest of the kitchen appliances!!

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:20 AM
What I think doesn't matter because I'm a female :cool:

No we want you girls to tell us what you are good for. This is your time to shine.

bradwright
10-31-2009, 06:21 AM
The answer you guys want to hear is....

women are good for cooking, cleaning, serving YOU, raising children to carry on the family name, and etc.

What I think doesn't matter because I'm a female :cool:

i think those are fine traits...i'm pretty sure my wife didn't get all the memo's though.:unsure-1:

but she is good at trying her best,cant fault her for that.:)

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:23 AM
good answers



while we are ont he topic ,

why do women wear white to the wedding ???


So they will match the rest of the kitchen appliances!!


What have you done wrong when you wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you? made the chain too long.

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:26 AM
What have you done wrong when you wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you? made the chain too long.

what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes ???????

Nothin , youve already told her twice!!

bradwright
10-31-2009, 06:26 AM
What have you done wrong when you wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you? made the chain too long.

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:27 AM
what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes ???????

Nothin , youve already told her twice!!

Why did the woman cross the road?
Wait, better question, why is she out of the kitchen!?

MattHughesRocks
10-31-2009, 06:27 AM
Hey! That's my joke:angry:

what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes ???????

Nothin , youve already told her twice!!

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:28 AM
Why did the woman cross the road?
Wait, better question, why is she out of the kitchen!?

Why do women have such smaller feet ?

So they can stand closer to the stove

bradwright
10-31-2009, 06:31 AM
Ok, for the people who take the time to get to know me, there's a ton I'm "good" for, I just don't feel like listing everything b/c it would bore you.

All women, at least Godly women, want to be appreciated. If you appreciate your wife often, she will do everything in her power to make you happy. The is one of the main reasons why marriages fall apart, is because of communication issues. Just tell her you love her, cherish what she does for you, and all that.

I didn't want to be too serious in my answer....:wink:

thats good advice but as of this year i have been married to my wife for 25 years....so that should tell you she must be doing something right.:)

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:31 AM
Why do women have such smaller feet ?

So they can stand closer to the stove

Why dont women have a penis?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:32 AM
Why dont women have a penis?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

why cant women ski?

Because there is no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:34 AM
why cant women ski?

Because there is no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom


How many men does it take to open a beer?
-None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.

MattHughesRocks
10-31-2009, 06:35 AM
Because they married one.

Why dont women have a penis?

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:35 AM
How many men does it take to open a beer?
-None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.



Whats strong enough for a man ,, but made for a woman .

The back of my hand

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:37 AM
Whats strong enough for a man ,, but made for a woman .

The back of my hand

A man is driving along in his car when he suddenly gets pulled over by the police, the man pokes his head out of the window and says "what seems to be the problem officer?" the cop looks bluntly at him and says "are you aware that a woman fell out of your car about 2 minutes ago?" the man let out a sigh "thank **** for that i thought i had gone deaf!"

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:39 AM
A man is driving along in his car when he suddenly gets pulled over by the police, the man pokes his head out of the window and says "what seems to be the problem officer?" the cop looks bluntly at him and says "are you aware that a woman fell out of your car about 2 minutes ago?" the man let out a sigh "thank **** for that i thought i had gone deaf!"

How do you tell your grilfriend is dead ?

Sex is the same but the dishes start to pile up.

MattHughesRocks
10-31-2009, 06:40 AM
How do you fix the dishwasher?
Smack her.

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:41 AM
How do you fix the dishwasher?
Smack her.

Why dont women need watches?

Because there is a clock on the stove.

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:41 AM
How do you tell your grilfriend is dead ?

Sex is the same but the dishes start to pile up.

A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?
The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen

Neezar
10-31-2009, 06:43 AM
How do you fix the dishwasher?
Smack her.


Eu tu, Brute?


:laugh:

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:44 AM
A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?
The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen


HA HA HA HA HA HA




What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:46 AM
HA HA HA HA HA HA




What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side

Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon?
It doesn't need cleaning yet

Mac
10-31-2009, 06:47 AM
Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon?
It doesn't need cleaning yet

What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?


A women who won't do what she's told

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:50 AM
How do you fix the dishwasher?
Smack her.

What do you do if your washing machine breaks down?


Slap her to.

Mark
10-31-2009, 06:52 AM
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?


A women who won't do what she's told

How long does it take a woman to clean the toilet?


Who cares, as long as dinner is on the table by 6.

MattHughesRocks
10-31-2009, 07:00 AM
Sorry, I got caught up in the moment plus it's my bedtime :unsure-1:

Eu tu, Brute?


:laugh:

Mark
10-31-2009, 07:00 AM
good answers



while we are ont he topic ,

why do women wear white to the wedding ???


So they will match the rest of the kitchen appliances!!

Why does the bride always wear white?


Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

MattHughesRocks
10-31-2009, 07:10 AM
A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."


Good night gentleman! Make sure your wives don't see this thread or you know you'll be crying ! :laugh:

Mark
10-31-2009, 07:11 AM
A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."


Good night gentleman! Make sure your wives don't see this thread or you know you'll be crying ! :laugh:

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?


Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?


When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

bradwright
10-31-2009, 07:12 AM
A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine."


Good night gentleman! Make sure your wives don't see this thread or you know you'll be crying ! :laugh:

thats why i was careful not to get carried away like some GUYS on here.:wink:

Mark
10-31-2009, 07:19 AM
thats why i was careful not to get carried away like some GUYS on here.:wink:

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?


None, they just sit there in the dark and complain.

J.B.
10-31-2009, 11:30 AM
This thread is great :laugh:

mikthehick
10-31-2009, 02:46 PM
This thread is great :laugh:

If you're a guy


You just wait, a 'what men are good for' thread will pop up soon

Spiritwalker
10-31-2009, 03:08 PM
My wife is great at telling me what I do wrong.. but only good at telling me what I do right.

My wife is great at spending my paycheck on the house, cars, bills, food. But even better at telling me "You didn't need that new DVD"

My wife is GREAT at telling me I look like I dressed myself in the dark.. but not so good at remembering that she bought me the shirt..

My wife if FANTASTIC at hinting to me that she is "in the mood"... but even BETTER at telling me "not tonight"

My wife is WONDERFUL when she takes care of the sick kiddos... Not so good when I am down with the sickness..

My wife is great at watching her weight...but even better at telling me "you eating that makes me mad cause I can't have one" (though sex is a great way to get a workout)

My wife is a FANTASTIC cook... not so great a dishwasher

My wife is GREAT at telling me the lawn needs to be cut... not so good at starting a lawnmower..

MattHughesRocks
10-31-2009, 03:35 PM
No there won't.Wouldnt have a thing to put in it :laugh:If you're a guy


You just wait, a 'what men are good for' thread will pop up soon

Mark
10-31-2009, 03:36 PM
My wife did read this (she wondered what I was doing last night laughing so hard) so now I have to make my own scrambled eggs! Didnt she read all the kitchen jokes?

J.B.
10-31-2009, 03:38 PM
No there won't.Wouldnt have a thing to put in it :laugh:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/132/319073097_70d7bc2f1a.jpg

MattHughesRocks
10-31-2009, 03:40 PM
HAHAHA, there's alwas Ruby Tuesday's.( I think that's what it's called) in Litchfield.There's a hot server guy I remember.Have him make you some eggs :)


My wife did read this (she wondered what I was doing last night laughing so hard) so now I have to make my own scrambled eggs! Didnt she read all the kitchen jokes?

J.B.
10-31-2009, 03:40 PM
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/3/3e/Call_of_duty_for_women.jpg

MattHughesRocks
10-31-2009, 03:41 PM
Is that one of Nathan's Star Wars toys? :unsure-1:


http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/3/3e/Call_of_duty_for_women.jpg

J.B.
10-31-2009, 03:43 PM
Is that one of Nathan's Star Wars toys? :unsure-1:

No, that is an Iron. It is used to make clothes nice and flat. :laugh:

MattHughesRocks
10-31-2009, 03:46 PM
I have one of those kinda. It's called "the dry cleaner" He picks up and drops off at the office Mon Wed & Fri :)

No, that is an Iron. It is used to make clothes nice and flat. :laugh:

J.B.
10-31-2009, 03:48 PM
I have one of those kinda. It's called "the dry cleaner" He picks up and drops off at the office Mon Wed & Fri :)

You're not supposed to use cheat codes on Call of Duty...that is weak! lol

Mac
10-31-2009, 03:54 PM
Why do they call it PMS ?



Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

MattHughesRocks
10-31-2009, 03:55 PM
I don't watch TV.It's all my own material :wink:

You're not supposed to use cheat codes on Call of Duty...that is weak! lol

J.B.
10-31-2009, 03:58 PM
Look, even Milton Bradley thinks women should stay in the kitchen...:laugh:

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a360/shockdamonkey/battleship.jpg

Mac
10-31-2009, 03:59 PM
Look, even Milton Bradley thinks women should stay in the kitchen...:laugh:

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a360/shockdamonkey/battleship.jpg

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

Mac
10-31-2009, 04:01 PM
http://www.nerve.com/CS/blogs/scanner/2008/12/23-End/sexist%202.jpg


http://img156.imageshack.us/img156/8172/300SexistAd-EvenAWomanCanOpenIt.jpg

Primadawn
10-31-2009, 05:26 PM
Wow! Misogyny RULES! :laugh:

VCURamFan
10-31-2009, 05:30 PM
Wow! Misogyny RULES! :laugh:
YES IT DOES!!:happydancing:

J.B.
10-31-2009, 05:59 PM
Wow! Misogyny RULES! :laugh:

I was gonna say something to that degree when I first saw this thread :laugh:

SteveT
10-31-2009, 06:06 PM
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman that won't do what she's told.

Play The Man
10-31-2009, 06:49 PM
My wife did read this (she wondered what I was doing last night laughing so hard) so now I have to make my own scrambled eggs! Didnt she read all the kitchen jokes?


You were warned:duh::fryingpan:

Play The Man
10-31-2009, 06:54 PM
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman that won't do what she's told.

See Post #41:Whistle:

VCURamFan
10-31-2009, 07:00 PM
See Post #41:Whistle:
Haha, I saw that too, but figured I'd let it slide. Guess you just hate Canadians more than me!:laugh:

J.B.
10-31-2009, 07:25 PM
This is so wrong...but still pretty funny

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2214/2171350584_097962f79c.jpg

Play The Man
10-31-2009, 07:32 PM
Haha, I saw that too, but figured I'd let it slide. Guess you just hate Canadians more than me!:laugh:


:ashamed:

Bonnie
10-31-2009, 07:40 PM
What does PMS stand for? :huh:

Good question, Mac. Thanks for asking. :laugh:

It stands for Putt'n up with Men's Shyte! :tongue0011:

J.B.
10-31-2009, 07:44 PM
Good question, Mac. Thanks for asking. :laugh:

It stands for Putt'n up with Men's Shyte! :tongue0011:

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/7/73/Roflcopter.gif

Bonnie
10-31-2009, 07:45 PM
This is so wrong...but still pretty funny

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2214/2171350584_097962f79c.jpg

I know what would be funnier: A straight jab bringing him to his knees. She just needs to open her eyes to see what's right in front of her. :laugh:

J.B.
10-31-2009, 07:49 PM
I know what would be funnier: A straight jab bringing him to his knees. She just needs to open her eyes to see what's right in front of her. :laugh:

Well, a guy like that probably ain't got much of a target down there. You have to have a pretty tiny sac to beat up a girl.

Unless, of course, the dishes are dirty, then it's completely justified...lol. I'm just kidding, you know that.

TexasRN
10-31-2009, 07:51 PM
I discovered today that I am really, really good at clogging up the shower drain with my hair. :blink:


~Amy

Bonnie
10-31-2009, 07:58 PM
Well, a guy like that probably ain't got much of a target down there. You have to have a pretty tiny sac to beat up a girl.

Unless, of course, the dishes are dirty, then it's completely justified...lol. I'm just kidding, you know that.

Yeah. :angry: Plus, he knows even his dog has bigger balls than him. :laugh:

Bonnie
10-31-2009, 08:07 PM
My wife did read this (she wondered what I was doing last night laughing so hard) so now I have to make my own scrambled eggs! Didnt she read all the kitchen jokes?

I guess that'll teach you not to laugh so loud, huh. :tongue0011:

And, I think she should call Mac's wife and get her to read all the kitchen jokes you and Mac thought were so funny. No more "lights out" "snow nights" for Mac....just "Do Not Pass Go". :laugh:

VCURamFan
10-31-2009, 08:19 PM
I discovered today that I am really, really good at clogging up the shower drain with my hair. :blink:


~Amy
Yeesh, you're not the only one! One of our tenants comes in at least once a month saying she's clogged her tub drain again! :banghead:

TexasRN
10-31-2009, 08:22 PM
Yeesh, you're not the only one! One of our tenants comes in at least once a month saying she's clogged her tub drain again! :banghead:


Um, I just pour Drano and Liquid Plumer down it till it drains again. I generally have to do this about every 6 weeks. I can't believe I'm not bald by now.


~Amy

Bonnie
10-31-2009, 08:22 PM
Yeesh, you're not the only one! One of our tenants comes in at least once a month saying she's clogged her tub drain again! :banghead:

Is it only when you're working? How old is she....cougar? :Whistle:

SteveT
10-31-2009, 08:24 PM
See Post #41:Whistle:

lol sorry about that

Play The Man
10-31-2009, 08:28 PM
I discovered today that I am really, really good at clogging up the shower drain with my hair. :blink:


~Amy

http://www.asseenontvguys.com/productimages/as_seen_on_tv_guys/hair_stopper.jpg

VCURamFan
10-31-2009, 08:38 PM
Is it only when you're working? How old is she....cougar? :Whistle:
Yeesh, I wish. She's most definitely not my type.

County Mike
10-31-2009, 08:51 PM
Kelli is great at making my computer stop working. Luckily I'm good at fixing it.

I couldn't get in on the jokes earlier. I was on my way to Florida. Finally here.

Mac
10-31-2009, 09:09 PM
Kelli is great at making my computer stop working. Luckily I'm good at fixing it.

I couldn't get in on the jokes earlier. I was on my way to Florida. Finally here.

Well times a waistin!!!

I never once mentioned samiches , strictly on your behalf Mike lol . Samiches is your department :laugh::laugh::laugh: I thought about it , but i respect ya ha ha ha

lyndsey823
11-01-2009, 12:04 AM
what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes ???????

Nothin , youve already told her twice!!

i hear this all the time from my boyfriend. like all of a sudden it's funnier the 100th time he's told me or something.

lyndsey823
11-01-2009, 12:10 AM
I discovered today that I am really, really good at clogging up the shower drain with my hair. :blink:


~Amy

me too!! and it's so gross cleaning it out. yuck.

County Mike
11-01-2009, 01:07 AM
Well times a waistin!!!

I never once mentioned samiches , strictly on your behalf Mike lol . Samiches is your department :laugh::laugh::laugh: I thought about it , but i respect ya ha ha ha

http://www.theboredninja.com/wp-content/gallery/tbn-pictures/sandwhich_comeback.jpg

VCURamFan
11-01-2009, 04:03 AM
http://www.theboredninja.com/wp-content/gallery/tbn-pictures/sandwhich_comeback.jpg
Hahahaha, TOUCHDOWN!!!!:happydancing:

NateR
11-01-2009, 04:45 AM
Yesterday scientists in Canada revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

NateR
11-01-2009, 04:48 AM
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea ... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married"
The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not", she giggles.
"Great!", he replies, "Get your own DAMN blanket!"

NateR
11-01-2009, 04:52 AM
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

___________________________________________

So, God made Adam. Adam was walking around one day and realized that he was lonely, so he asked God for a companion. God said, "I can make a woman for you. She will cook and clean and do everything you ask her to. She will wait on you hand and foot. She will be so beautiful that you won't be able to take your eyes off of her. But it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg."
Adam said, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
________________________________________

A man and woman were lying in bed on night and the woman said to the man, "I sure wish I had bigger tits."
Well the man responded by saying she should rub toilet paper all over them.
The woman looked at him and said "Toilet paper, what will that do?"
The man said, "I don't know, but look what it's done for your arse."

MattHughesRocks
11-01-2009, 04:52 AM
Go NateR! http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e292/skysrock/Smileys/r0731x.gif

Mark
11-01-2009, 04:57 AM
Yesterday scientists in Canada revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose...
Would you go to lunch or to a movie?

NateR
11-01-2009, 05:08 AM
If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose...
Would you go to lunch or to a movie?

http://www.stedoyle.com/sexist2/poof.jpg

NateR
11-01-2009, 05:10 AM
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c201/Barada73/reality.jpg

NateR
11-01-2009, 05:11 AM
http://stilettorevolt.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/rofl-1.jpg

NateR
11-01-2009, 05:14 AM
http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2009/6/12/633804135124829250-femaledrivers.jpg

Mark
11-01-2009, 05:14 AM
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Bonnie
11-01-2009, 05:18 AM
http://www.stedoyle.com/sexist2/poof.jpg

If I was her, I would totally ask for a refund 'cause 1) the mustache is probably a given with menopause anyway, and 2) Well....two heads isn't always better than one. :wink:

:laugh:

NateR
11-01-2009, 05:21 AM
http://freefries.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/vintage-sexist-ad.jpg?w=350&h=471

This would be better if it was an ad for a breadmaker: :ninja:
http://freefries.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/vintage-sexist-ad16.jpg?w=293&h=400

NateR
11-01-2009, 05:23 AM
http://freefries.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/vintage-sexist-ad12.jpg?w=320&h=218
http://freefries.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/vintage-sexist-ad9.jpg?w=400&h=353
http://freefries.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/vintage-sexist-ad8.jpg?w=377&h=500

MattHughesRocks
11-01-2009, 05:31 AM
Q: what is the difference between a girl and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist

MattHughesRocks
11-01-2009, 05:31 AM
Q:What is the difference between a girl and a gun?
A:you can put a silencer to a gun

NateR
11-01-2009, 05:37 AM
http://gloriabrame.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b90769e201156f3da7c0970c-400wi

Bonnie
11-01-2009, 05:50 AM
Men Are Like...

... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

... Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

... Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.

... Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

... Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

... Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.

... Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

... Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

que
11-01-2009, 08:15 AM
women are good for being in the kitchen and making babies

Tyburn
11-01-2009, 11:42 AM
:scared0015:

I'm not going to say anything

Mark
11-01-2009, 02:09 PM
Men Are Like...

... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

... Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

... Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.

... Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

... Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

... Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.

... Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

... Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

You are way off topic!!!

surveyorshawn
11-01-2009, 02:30 PM
Men Are Like...

... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

... Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

... Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.

... Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

... Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

... Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.

... Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

... Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

Bonnie, stop revealing all of our secrets!!!

MattHughesRocks
11-01-2009, 04:10 PM
Bonnie, you really slipped up. Know your place girlfriend .

Bonnie
11-01-2009, 04:28 PM
You are way off topic!!!

Not so wayyyyy....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie
Men Are Like...

... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

... Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

... Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.

... Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

... Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

... Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.

... Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

... Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.


....explains soooo much about women. :tongue0011:

:laugh:

Bonnie
11-01-2009, 04:34 PM
Bonnie, you really slipped up. Know your place girlfriend .

Oh...... :duh:.......so this is what this thread is about!

Silly me! :rolleyes:

MattHughesRocks
11-01-2009, 04:56 PM
Just let the men think they're smart for 5 minutes. Then we take over once again :ninja:

Oh...... :duh:.......so this is what this thread is about!

Silly me! :rolleyes:

Bonnie
11-01-2009, 07:51 PM
Just let the men think they're smart for 5 minutes. Then we take over once again :ninja:

Ooookay. :rolleyes:


















Has it been 5 minutes yet? :unsure-1:


:laugh:

Mark
11-02-2009, 12:53 AM
Did we ever figure out what women are good for?

VCURamFan
11-02-2009, 12:59 AM
Some of 'em are nice to look at!

Mark
11-02-2009, 01:11 AM
Some of 'em are nice to look at!

If they had a brain they would be good for alot more.

Mac
11-02-2009, 01:23 AM
If they had a brain they would be good for alot more.

http://poietes.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/if-i-only-had-a-brain.gif

Tyburn
11-02-2009, 01:36 AM
If they had a brain they would be good for alot more.

have you not heard the saying "behind every good man, stands a greater women" ?

What are your opinions on such a saying :huh:

VCURamFan
11-02-2009, 01:38 AM
have you not heard the saying "behind every good man, stands a greater women" ?

What are your opinions on such a saying :huh:
Clearly feminist propaganda.

Mark
11-02-2009, 01:39 AM
have you not heard the saying "behind every good man, stands a greater women" ?

What are your opinions on such a saying :huh:

No, never heard of it.

Tyburn
11-02-2009, 01:39 AM
No, never heard of it.

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

J.B.
11-02-2009, 01:43 AM
Clearly feminist propaganda.

:laugh:

J.B.
11-02-2009, 01:44 AM
http://www.theboredninja.com/wp-content/gallery/tbn-pictures/sandwhich_comeback.jpg

CCCOMBO BREAKER!!!! :laugh:

That is classic.

VCURamFan
11-02-2009, 01:50 AM
CCCOMBO BREAKER!!!! :laugh:

That is classic.
Awesome reference!!:laugh:

Easily worth:
http://i179.photobucket.com/albums/w291/westcottbd/Cool%20Points/100CoolPoints.jpg

Neezar
11-02-2009, 03:08 AM
If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose...
Would you go to lunch or to a movie?

Nate had some great ones but this one made me laugh out loud. :laugh:

NateR
11-02-2009, 03:13 AM
have you not heard the saying "behind every good man, stands a greater women" ?

What are your opinions on such a saying :huh:

I like the M*A*S*H version of that saying better: "Behind every great man stands a woman with a vibrator." :laugh:

Neezar
11-02-2009, 03:16 AM
I think we need a few good answers to what women are good for.

They understand why I need 5 different pair of black shoes.

They understand why I have to buy something that is on sale even if I don't really need it.

They understand that sometimes I need a good cry just because.

They understand the difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

Bonnie
11-02-2009, 03:17 AM
I like the M*A*S*H version of that saying better: "Behind every great man stands a woman with a vibrator." :laugh:

This is the best! :laugh:

Shoots like a girl
11-02-2009, 07:55 PM
If it has testicles or tires its going to give you trouble!

Men Are Like...

... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

... Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

... Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.

... Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

... Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

... Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.

... Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

... Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

Bonnie
11-02-2009, 07:59 PM
If it has testicles or tires its going to give you trouble!


:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Shoots like a girl
11-02-2009, 08:14 PM
My husbands wife is awesome at throwing UFC fight night parties!!!! :happydancing:

que
11-03-2009, 12:18 AM
if you think about it, all the revolutionary advances to the human species have been made by a man.

inventing electricity - man

inventing air conditioning - man

inventing aspirin - man

inventing democracy - man

discovering the land now known as america - man

inventing america - man

inventing the audiotape - man

inventing the camera/photography/movies/celluloid - man

inventing computers - man

inventing the internet - man

inventing eyeglasses - man

inventing paper/nylon/plastic/jeans/pens/petroleum/ - man

inventing radar - man

inventing morse code - man

inventing soap - man

inventing steel - man

inventing the alphabet - man

inventing the wheel - man

inventing wine - man

inventing the plane - man

inventing the car - man

inventing the rocketship - man

going to the moon - man

inventing MMA - man

inventing matt hughes forum - man

heck, men even invented dish washers, refrigerators, hair dryers, hair curlers (things women are best at using) and men even invented women's panties and women's lingerie

and of course the ultimate answer of which race is more good for is....

Men seeing as man technically created women because God made females out of a rib of a man.

Mac
11-03-2009, 12:30 AM
heck, men even invented dish washers, .



Nope , not that one , it goes to the women .

The first automatic dishwasher was invented by a woman , in a house about 5 miles from me right here in shelbyville . Her company later became Kitchenaid .


Josephine Garis Cochran invented the first useful dishwasher in Shelbyville, Illinois and received patent # 355,139 on December 28, 1886.

Cochrane, a wealthy woman who entertained often, wanted a machine that could wash dishes faster than her servants, and without breaking them. When she couldn't find one, she built it herself.

She measured the dishes first, then she made wire compartments, each designed to fit plates, cups, or saucers. The compartments were placed inside a wheel that lay flat within a copper boiler. A motor turned the wheel while hot soapy water squirted from the bottom of the boiler and rained down on the dishes. Her invention worked! She showed the dishwasher at the 1893 Chicago World's Fair, but only restaurants and hotels showed interest in it. Cochrane founded a company to manufacture her dishwashers, which eventually became KitchenAid®. It wasn't until the 1950s, however, that dishwashers started to become a standard household kitchen appliance.

Cochrane's patent and the trademarks registered to KitchenAid®, as well as the more than six million patents issued since the first in 1790 and the 2.3 million trademarks registered since 1870, can be seen on the Department of Commerce's U.S. Patent and Trademark Office web site at www.uspto.gov .

It was invented in this house . Which is actually two apartments now . and for sale for $79,000

http://www.shelbyproperties.com/images/properties/203821-01.jpg

que
11-03-2009, 12:35 AM
Nope , not that one , it goes to the women .

The first automatic dishwasher was invented by a woman , in a house about 5 miles from me right here in shelbyville . Her company later became Kitchenaid .




It was invented in this house . Which is actually two apartments now . and for sale for $79,000

http://www.shelbyproperties.com/images/properties/203821-01.jpg


oops

eh, who needs dishwashers anyways. i just buy paper (made by man) plates, then throw em away when i'm done with em.

J.B.
11-03-2009, 12:36 AM
Nope , not that one , it goes to the women .

The first automatic dishwasher was invented by a woman , in a house about 5 miles from me right here in shelbyville . Her company later became Kitchenaid .




It was invented in this house . Which is actually two apartments now . and for sale for $79,000

http://www.shelbyproperties.com/images/properties/203821-01.jpg

It seems fitting that a women would invent the dishwasher :laugh:

Rev
11-03-2009, 01:47 AM
have you not heard the saying "behind every good man, stands a greater women" ?

What are your opinions on such a saying :huh:

yup, thats true. Just look at this add posted by JB


http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a360/shockdamonkey/battleship.jpg[/QUOTE]
see her behind him in the kitchen where she belongs? She is doing a great job.:wink:

Twinsmama
11-03-2009, 02:58 PM
I don't like to talk about feelings and all the mushy stuff like most woman so mine might be different:

I'm good for: keeping everything organized, cooking deer meat w/ rice and tomato gravy, catching fish, gettin up early to go hunting, getting everything ready for camping so my husband just has to get in the truck and go.

I am also good for giving the best massages. I love rubbing my husbands back. I try to rub his back at night until he falls asleep and in the morning to wake him up. Usually if I do that he wakes up in a good mood.

My husband may be able to feed himself, wash his own clothes but he will never be able to rub his back like I do!

Mark
11-04-2009, 03:51 AM
I don't like to talk about feelings and all the mushy stuff like most woman so mine might be different:

I'm good for: keeping everything organized, cooking deer meat w/ rice and tomato gravy, catching fish, gettin up early to go hunting, getting everything ready for camping so my husband just has to get in the truck and go.

I am also good for giving the best massages. I love rubbing my husbands back. I try to rub his back at night until he falls asleep and in the morning to wake him up. Usually if I do that he wakes up in a good mood.

My husband may be able to feed himself, wash his own clothes but he will never be able to rub his back like I do!


I heard you can only give a good message if you have 6 fingers on each hand.

Crisco
11-04-2009, 10:34 PM
Smack her once shame on her

Smack her twice shame on you...

for not hitting her hard enough the first time.

Twinsmama
11-05-2009, 01:50 PM
Smack her once shame on her

Smack her twice shame on you...

for not hitting her hard enough the first time.


:laugh::laugh::laugh:

Llamafighter
11-05-2009, 02:54 PM
I envy my wife's precision...
she can turn on a dime :scared:

Jessi
11-09-2009, 07:36 PM
OK here is a list on what I believe I am good for....and my husband I am sure will agree!

I am good at:
1. Airing up my own tires
2. Making sure the oil is changed on time (and even a couple of times
changing it myself)
3. Preparing that "hit the spot" dinner almost every night
4. Mowing the yard when I get home before my husband
5. Keeping up with the laundry
6. Remembering every appt for everybody in the house
7. Purposely pushing hubby's buttons just for my entertainment
8. Cutting the kids and hubby's hair when it is needed
9. Buying that much deserved 12pk during the week
10. Organizing every cabinet and closet, so that the boys' can destroy it
again
11. Making sure the sheets are always clean
12. Washing the truck (and sweeping, and detailing)
13. Keeping an extra can of CHEW in my purse for the hubby (I don't want to
charge only $2 on my debit card, so I will grab a can b/c I know he will
want it)
14. Cleaning the house
15. Poppin those pesky zits in the middle of the hubby's back
16. Not being afraid to pick up a hammer and do my own project (fixed the
stairs on the deck)
17. Assembling things w/out having to beg for help
18. Knowing exactly when my husband is feeding me some bull.
19. Giving my husband the ass chewing he deserves at times.
20. Giving my husband the ass he deserves :ashamed:

Way more than what Mark asked for, but WAY WAY WAY shorter!

My husband has it made, my dad MADE me learn how to do almost everything that a man can do. I had to change my oil, sparks plugs, and rotate my tires the DAY I got my first car!

AND for all of those dishes jokes: My dad always had a good one for me. He would say: "I already have a dishwasher, its kick drive and belt driven!"

Mac
11-09-2009, 11:46 PM
OK here is a list on what I believe I am good for....and my husband I am sure will agree!

I am good at:
1. Airing up my own tires
2. Making sure the oil is changed on time (and even a couple of times
changing it myself)
3. Preparing that "hit the spot" dinner almost every night
4. Mowing the yard when I get home before my husband
5. Keeping up with the laundry
6. Remembering every appt for everybody in the house
7. Purposely pushing hubby's buttons just for my entertainment
8. Cutting the kids and hubby's hair when it is needed
9. Buying that much deserved 12pk during the week
10. Organizing every cabinet and closet, so that the boys' can destroy it
again
11. Making sure the sheets are always clean
12. Washing the truck (and sweeping, and detailing)
13. Keeping an extra can of CHEW in my purse for the hubby (I don't want to
charge only $2 on my debit card, so I will grab a can b/c I know he will
want it)
14. Cleaning the house
15. Poppin those pesky zits in the middle of the hubby's back
16. Not being afraid to pick up a hammer and do my own project (fixed the
stairs on the deck)
17. Assembling things w/out having to beg for help
18. Knowing exactly when my husband is feeding me some bull.
19. Giving my husband the ass chewing he deserves at times.
20. Giving my husband the ass he deserves :ashamed:

Way more than what Mark asked for, but WAY WAY WAY shorter!

My husband has it made, my dad MADE me learn how to do almost everything that a man can do. I had to change my oil, sparks plugs, and rotate my tires the DAY I got my first car!

AND for all of those dishes jokes: My dad always had a good one for me. He would say: "I already have a dishwasher, its kick drive and belt driven!"


Well ,, its gonna be tough to argue with that!! LOL

County Mike
11-10-2009, 01:51 AM
OK here is a list on what I believe I am good for....and my husband I am sure will agree!
......


Whoah! Where did this chick come from? I thought I knew all the ladies on this board. :)

Mac
11-10-2009, 01:53 AM
Whoah! Where did this chick come from? I thought I knew all the ladies on this board. :)


Shes an old friend of Mine . Thats right , lol . Thats down home women lol.:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

TexasRN
11-10-2009, 02:02 AM
Shes an old friend of Mine . Thats right , lol . Thats down home women lol.:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:


Oh geez, Mac. You make it sound like she doesn't have all her teeth. :unsure-1:


~Amy

Mac
11-10-2009, 04:58 AM
Oh geez, Mac. You make it sound like she doesn't have all her teeth. :unsure-1:


~Amy


LMAO!!!!!!! hey now , Jessi is probably the only gal south of shelby county that does. But thats because she was transplanted from findlay down to Herrick county lol.

Silverback
11-10-2009, 05:26 AM
I enjoyed this post, both sides of the coin was discussed, the men had their say and the women countered it was a nasty brawl. It was too close to call so I will leave it at that! Very good.:punch:

Mark
11-10-2009, 01:28 PM
OK here is a list on what I believe I am good for....and my husband I am sure will agree!

I am good at:
1. Airing up my own tires
2. Making sure the oil is changed on time (and even a couple of times
changing it myself)
3. Preparing that "hit the spot" dinner almost every night
4. Mowing the yard when I get home before my husband
5. Keeping up with the laundry
6. Remembering every appt for everybody in the house
7. Purposely pushing hubby's buttons just for my entertainment
8. Cutting the kids and hubby's hair when it is needed
9. Buying that much deserved 12pk during the week
10. Organizing every cabinet and closet, so that the boys' can destroy it
again
11. Making sure the sheets are always clean
12. Washing the truck (and sweeping, and detailing)
13. Keeping an extra can of CHEW in my purse for the hubby (I don't want to
charge only $2 on my debit card, so I will grab a can b/c I know he will
want it)
14. Cleaning the house
15. Poppin those pesky zits in the middle of the hubby's back
16. Not being afraid to pick up a hammer and do my own project (fixed the
stairs on the deck)
17. Assembling things w/out having to beg for help
18. Knowing exactly when my husband is feeding me some bull.
19. Giving my husband the ass chewing he deserves at times.
20. Giving my husband the ass he deserves :ashamed:

Way more than what Mark asked for, but WAY WAY WAY shorter!

My husband has it made, my dad MADE me learn how to do almost everything that a man can do. I had to change my oil, sparks plugs, and rotate my tires the DAY I got my first car!

AND for all of those dishes jokes: My dad always had a good one for me. He would say: "I already have a dishwasher, its kick drive and belt driven!"

I bet you tell a good fish story!

Twinsmama
11-10-2009, 01:42 PM
Mark that's what I was thinking. I could probably do all that but ..really...why? My dad made me do all that when I was 16 but I'm an old lady now and forgot it all when I hooked up with Rich. (i was only 17 then haha) I can tell a good fish story. You should have seen the snook I caught the other night!

Jessi
11-10-2009, 08:16 PM
Actually Mac I was born and raised in Cowden country...haha. And yes I DO have all of my teeth!!

Jessi
11-10-2009, 08:31 PM
I bet you tell a good fish story!

Actually I could! I was a HUGE tomboy growing up and I grew up practically in the woods so I like to do all of those types of things that men seem to enjoy so much.....except when it comes to actually eating the fish!! :laugh: Don't get me wrong though, I love being a woman! I'm just so gosh darn independent that I feel like I need to do things for myself. Why wait when I know how to do it?

Jessi
11-10-2009, 08:39 PM
Whoah! Where did this chick come from? I thought I knew all the ladies on this board. :)

ahhaha. I thought making a list of some of the things I do that keep ONLY my husband happy was the least I could do since I'm not on here very much. Guess I should start posting on here more often then.....

TexasRN
11-10-2009, 10:52 PM
ahhaha. I thought making a list of some of the things I do that keep ONLY my husband happy was the least I could do since I'm not on here very much. Guess I should start posting on here more often then.....

Yes, you should post more. Start with funny stories about Mac. :w00t:


~Amy

Llamafighter
11-10-2009, 11:03 PM
Yes, you should post more. Start with funny stories about Mac. :w00t:


~Amy

I second that request!!:w00t:

Jessi
11-10-2009, 11:55 PM
Well I would tell you bunch, but I only know of one. You see, I'm friends w/ Mac through my husband Brandon. And I recall hearing about a hilarious incident in Springfield during the state fair when Mac, Brandon, and another guy stopped at a Hardee's before the Hank Williams concert. I will let him fill in the details if he wants. I don't wanna get anything wrong....hahaha.

TexasRN
11-11-2009, 12:10 AM
Well I would tell you bunch, but I only know of one. You see, I'm friends w/ Mac through my husband Brandon. And I recall hearing about a hilarious incident in Springfield during the state fair when Mac, Brandon, and another guy stopped at a Hardee's before the Hank Williams concert. I will let him fill in the details if he wants. I don't wanna get anything wrong....hahaha.


Now I need to know. You can't start one and then stop at the good part. Mac.... finish the story!!!


~Amy

bradwright
11-11-2009, 12:14 AM
Well I would tell you bunch, but I only know of one. You see, I'm friends w/ Mac through my husband Brandon. And I recall hearing about a hilarious incident in Springfield during the state fair when Mac, Brandon, and another guy stopped at a Hardee's before the Hank Williams concert. I will let him fill in the details if he wants. I don't wanna get anything wrong....hahaha.

go ahead Jessi tell us all about it...i'm sure Mack wont mind.:wink:

Mac
11-11-2009, 12:22 AM
Well I would tell you bunch, but I only know of one. You see, I'm friends w/ Mac through my husband Brandon. And I recall hearing about a hilarious incident in Springfield during the state fair when Mac, Brandon, and another guy stopped at a Hardee's before the Hank Williams concert. I will let him fill in the details if he wants. I don't wanna get anything wrong....hahaha.


Thats been a LONG time ago lol.

Brandon will have to fill that one in , i remember it involving a big girl ....... no no no , A BIGGGGG GIRL . And something about needign a ride.

Me and Brandon have alot of stories together , that same night we got pulled over by the cops at about 2 in the morning coming back from the concert, had a cooler in the back of the car . Cop walks up and says " whats in the cooler" and we told him dr pepper, he didnt believe us and dumped it in the road if i remember right . and thats all that was in there was dr pepper lol. The 2 bottles of schnapps were hidden under the front seat.


Me and Brandon also got chased out of Kmart one night while we were out christmas shopping , we were eating supper at the little ceasers pizza joint inside k mart and a hooker chased us , then she got in her car and chased us out of the parking lot , Honest she was a true blue hooker , a real 20 getcha anything woman of the night

Jessi
11-11-2009, 04:31 PM
Hahaha, yeah I knew there were a lot more stories, just wasn't sure about the details. And the Hardee's incident happened when Mr. Mac agreed to a couple of "gals" that they would give them a ride (Mac wasn't driving) and when they went to the bathroom or something Mac told my husband Brandon, and the other guy to RUN!! They took off while the "gals" were left trying to run in the parking lot.

Does that sound right Mac? :laugh: