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NateR
10-15-2009, 07:34 PM
We're up to session 4 of our Wednesday night men's group study and Mark and I were talking last night and he thought it would be a good idea to share what we are going over with the other men on the forums. So I'm going to try to summarize the first three chapters of our study real quick here.

First the basic mission statement:
Manhood and masculinity have been under constant attack over the last few decades, primarily because of the rise of Feminism. So, many boys are becoming men with absolutely no idea what it actually means to be a man. Young men are having their masculine traits conditioned out of them as they grow up and they are being taught that aggressiveness, competitiveness and masculinity are evil and must be eliminated. When in actuality, those traits are gifts that GOD has given to men so that we can accomplish His purposes. So the primary mission of Men's Fraternity is to reconnect men with their manhood.

To quickly summarize the three programs:
1. The Quest for Authentic Manhood:

Focus: A man's core identity
Chief Elements: A man's wounds; The definition of manhood; Overview of manhood issues
Major Challenge: The boy in you must die!


2. A Man at Work and at Home:

Focus: A man's resposibilities
Chief Elements: How a man enjoys his work, success, and relates to his wife
Major Challenge: The man in you must step forward!


3. A Man and His World: The Great Adventure:

Focus: A man's destiny
Chief Elements: Rediscover the adventure of life; Understanding my design; Developing a satisfying life focus
Major Challenge: The adventurer in you must live!


We are on part three and the primary goal of this year's Men's Fraternity is:
To help you finish this life with satisfaction and enter the next life with confidence.

Assumptions that Men's Fraternity makes about every man:
1. Our Creator desires for us to live a meaningful adventure.
2. Many men often miss this spirit of adventure in their lives; others lose it somewhere along life's journey.
3. Men need ongoing adventure "to stay alive!"
4. An adventuresome man lives differently than others who blindly plod onward.

Life for a man must be more than responsibility (we are not advocating irresponsibility). Too much responsibility can have disastrous effects on a man's life:
1. It can wear a man out - like that quote from Field of Dreams, "I never knew my dad before life had beaten the dreams out of him."
2. It can pull a man down - which creates unexplained anger, brooding and fearfulness in a man's life.
3. It can set a man up for a serious fall - what's referred to as the "x-games": addicting behavior, pornography, alcohol, drugs, childish regression, etc.

Adventure for a man means finding a live balanced with:

A sense of purpose
Calling
Fit (in synch with life)
Fun
Energy
Destiny


This programs will provide the answer to the three "big hairy questions" that every man asks about his life:
1. Who am I?
I am a man created by GOD.

2. Why am I here?
I am a man commissioned by GOD.

3. Where am I going?
I am a man who will ultimately face GOD.

Finally, we learned about the 4 types of adventures that every man needs:

1. The Family Adventure: to reproduce life in my children.

Teammates: a wife
Key Words:

Understanding
Hands on involvement
Intimacy

Outcome:

Legacy
Joy

Key Scripture:

Psalm 127:3-4
3 John 4
Proverbs 10:1


2. The Noble Cause Adventure: to fight for a better life - making this world better for others.

Teammates: Like-minded partners
Key Words:

Calling
Fit
Design
Contribution to the World

Outcome:

Energy
Deep Satisfaction

Key Scripture:

Ephesians 2:10
Titus 3:8
Acts 20:35
Ecclesiastes 3:12
1 Timothy 6:18-19


3. The Man-Sized Adventure: to enjoy life.

Teammates: Friends, especially male friends
Key Words:

Explore
Challenge
Thrills

Outcome:

Fun
Great Memories

Key Scripture:

Ecclesiastes 3:22
Ecclesiastes 5:18
Ecclesiastes 9:9
1 Timothy 6:17


4. The Spiritual Adventure: to experience a spiritual life and have more than this life alone can offer.

Teammates: GOD
Key Words:

Faith
Love
Worship
Follow

Outcome:

Peace
Eternal Life

Key Scripture:

1 John 5:11-13
John 10:10



Okay, this is the basic summary of the first three sessions. I'll let you all digest that for a bit and I'll come back and post some stuff from session 4 later tonight. You can also check out the Men's Fraternity website: http://www.mensfraternity.com/

Boomer
10-15-2009, 08:53 PM
Interesting post. Some of these are the same concepts I've been working on in my own personnal life .. I'll check the link out.

Like the Ecclesiastes refferences. One of my favorit books in the Bible.

Llamafighter
10-15-2009, 09:16 PM
Thanks for sharing. I'll sit down and give this some time this evening.

Tyburn
10-15-2009, 09:51 PM
1) Natures first green is Gold, her hardest hue to hold, an early leaf a flower, but only for an hour, then leaf subsides to leaf, eden sank down to grief, dawn goes on to day, nothing Gold can stay

2) I agree

3) :sad:

4) I aggree

5) you'll have to define "enjoy life" better then that. Most men I know.."enjoy life" by drinking and smoking far to much, their thrill is in getting sloshed" Thats not enjoyable to me. Besides...Enjoyment often comes from sinful things...and we shouldnt be doing that. I dont really "enjoy" life in terms of some of those key words. Life for me is about overcoming hardship, its not about enjoyment. Thats comes after you die :)


1) To quickly summarize the three programs:
1. The Quest for Authentic Manhood:

Focus: A man's core identity
Chief Elements: A man's wounds; The definition of manhood; Overview of manhood issues
Major Challenge: The boy in you must die!


2)
Adventure for a man means finding a live balanced with:

A sense of purpose
Calling
Fit (in synch with life)
Fun
Energy
Destiny


3)
1. The Family Adventure: to reproduce life in my children.

Teammates: a wife
Key Words:

Understanding
Hands on involvement
Intimacy

Outcome:

Legacy
Joy

Key Scripture:

Psalm 127:3-4
3 John 4
Proverbs 10:1



4)2. The Noble Cause Adventure: to fight for a better life - making this world better for others.

Teammates: Like-minded partners
Key Words:

Calling
Fit
Design
Contribution to the World

Outcome:

Energy
Deep Satisfaction

Key Scripture:

Ephesians 2:10
Titus 3:8
Acts 20:35
Ecclesiastes 3:12
1 Timothy 6:18-19



5) 3. The Man-Sized Adventure: to enjoy life.

Teammates: Friends, especially male friends
Key Words:

Explore
Challenge
Thrills

Outcome:

Fun
Great Memories

Key Scripture:

Ecclesiastes 3:22
Ecclesiastes 5:18
Ecclesiastes 9:9
1 Timothy 6:17

Mac
10-16-2009, 02:02 AM
Great Post.

And you are right about boys growing up without the idea of being a man .

For instance Nate me and you i believe had the conversation the other day . You dont see boys working anymore. You were talking about bailing hay and i can remember up until i could get a job in town i was bucking bales every weekend and alot through the week after school.

You dont see boys bucking hay anymore , you dont see them doing anything anymore.

bradwright
10-16-2009, 02:08 AM
1) Natures first green is Gold, her hardest hue to hold, an early leaf a flower, but only for an hour, then leaf subsides to leaf, eden sank down to grief, dawn goes on to day, nothing Gold can stay

2) I agree

3) :sad:

4) I aggree

5) you'll have to define "enjoy life" better then that. Most men I know.."enjoy life" by drinking and smoking far to much, their thrill is in getting sloshed" Thats not enjoyable to me. Besides...Enjoyment often comes from sinful things...and we shouldnt be doing that. I dont really "enjoy" life in terms of some of those key words. Life for me is about overcoming hardship, its not about enjoyment. Thats comes after you die :)

you say that you really dont enjoy life ?
what about your trips to the USA ?...you dont enjoy those ?
i agree with you Dave life sometimes is about overcoming hardship but life is also about enjoying yourself from time to time and no i dont think one has to get sloshed as you put it to actually have fun.

good post Nate....i envy the opportunity you have to sit and discuss things like this with your peers.

MattHughesRocks
10-16-2009, 02:44 AM
Girls can comment in here, correct NateR? :unsure-1:

NateR
10-16-2009, 02:50 AM
Session 4 basically entailed filling out this diagram:
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c201/Barada73/wiring.jpg

Here's what it all means:

On one end we have our Birth/Design, this is what GOD predestined us to excel at before we even enter this world. It could be natural athletic ability, an ear for music, artistic ability, a head for numbers, whatever.

The first column on the right are our Past Experience. Our pasts are filled with positive and negative experiences and how we view those experiences defines how we interact with the world.

Column 2 is our Present Lifestyle. In the center is our present pursuits, basically where we are right at this moment. This is effected by our current Convictions (stabilizers), meaning the values and principles that we actually live out in our lives, and our Problems (destabilizers). The primary problems that men get caught up in are marital difficulties, a damaged relationship with their children, job related issues, and money related issues.

The third column is our Future Perspectives, basically our plans for the future. These plans are formed by our dreams and GOD's purposes in our lives.

To the right of column three is our Death/Legacy. Legacy meaning how people remember us when we are gone.

Also, since there is an afterlife, death is the beginning of our Eternity/Destiny.

Remember, you are a man who will ultimately face GOD and give an account for your life. So, the wise man will deal with his past and put it behind him, decide his convictions, deal with any present problems in his life and keep his focus on his future, his dreams, and GOD's purposes for his life. Because the goal is not to live a prosperous, comfortable life on this world, the goal is to be able to face GOD at the end of your life with no regrets about wasted abilities or opportunities.

Four summary observations:
1. Knowing my design is critical for understanding and rightly positioning my life.
2. The past is always with us for good or bad.
3. How we "see" and "embrace" the future affects our lives much more than most of us know.
4. The wise adventurer always lives with the end in mind.

Mark
10-16-2009, 03:04 AM
Great Post.

And you are right about boys growing up without the idea of being a man .

For instance Nate me and you i believe had the conversation the other day . You dont see boys working anymore. You were talking about bailing hay and i can remember up until i could get a job in town i was bucking bales every weekend and alot through the week after school.

You dont see boys bucking hay anymore , you dont see them doing anything anymore.

I agree with you. Hate to say that.

Mac
10-16-2009, 03:06 AM
Session 4 basically entailed filling out this diagram:
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c201/Barada73/wiring.jpg

Here's what it all means:

On one end we have our Birth/Design, this is what GOD predestined us to excel at before we even enter this world. It could be natural athletic ability, an ear for music, artistic ability, a head for numbers, whatever.

The first column on the right are our Past Experience. Our pasts are filled with positive and negative experiences and how we view those experiences defines how we interact with the world.

Column 2 is our Present Lifestyle. In the center is our present pursuits, basically where we are right at this moment. This is effected by our current Convictions (stabilizers), meaning the values and principles that we actually live out in our lives, and our Problems (destabilizers). The primary problems that men get caught up in are marital difficulties, a damaged relationship with their children, job related issues, and money related issues.

The third column is our Future Perspectives, basically our plans for the future. These plans are formed by our dreams and GOD's purposes in our lives.

To the right of column three is our Death/Legacy. Legacy meaning how people remember us when we are gone.

Also, since there is an afterlife, death is the beginning of our Eternity/Destiny.

Remember, you are a man who will ultimately face GOD and give an account for your life. So, the wise man will deal with his past and put it behind him, decide his convictions, deal with any present problems in his life and keep his focus on his future, his dreams, and GOD's purposes for his life. Because the goal is not to live a prosperous, comfortable life on this world, the goal is to be able to face GOD at the end of your life with no regrets about wasted abilities or opportunities.

Four summary observations:
1. Knowing my design is critical for understanding and rightly positioning my life.
2. The past is always with us for good or bad.
3. How we "see" and "embrace" the future affects our lives much more than most of us know.
4. The wise adventurer always lives with the end in mind.

on the destabilizer side in the present lifestlye .
Under the 4 biggest problems . I dont feel i have any of those " i know they are examples" but honestly My marrige is great, i dont think we ever fight , Maybe have a spat over whose gonna do the dishes or who didnt take out the trash but thats as far as it ever goes , no cross words really.
My relationship with my sons is perfect. the best part of my day is when i get home to those 2 boys meeting me att he door , Boone asking about my day and Hank babbling non stop with a smile on his face and throwing in a DADA every now and then lol.
My job ... I go to work with my Dad and my Brother . we have a good time , we set our own hours , the pay is good and we get along . I dont enjoy some of the things the job entails but i enjoy it as a whole and look forward to going to work .
Money ..... Thats a tough one , i dont usually have money problems , i dont have enough by anymeans to just run out and do everything i ever wanted to do , but i have enough when the boys would like to have a little something i can usually get by with it , or when Becky wants to go out to eat somewhere we can usually do that . But im happy , i have learned to live a lifestyle that doesnt require alot of need therefore monitary needs are not great besides the basics.

Mac
10-16-2009, 03:11 AM
I agree with you. Hate to say that.


but its the truth . and i hate it to . I can remember back to my first hay bailing job i was 10 or so and Mike was 12 . We bailed hay for 2 or 3 days straight , at 10 years old . Made 20 bucks apiece and were in hog heaven .

I can remember buddies and thier mom swinging by to pick me up , we would all have a thermos jug fullof ice water and get dropped off ina field full of empty hayracks .

There were "slackers" back then but not near to the extent there is today.
I would go "and still do sometimes" down the street through town , and see these kids my age , younger , older etc , you could tell they had nothing going forthemselves and i would always say to myself " thank you God for giving me more direction"

Im a firm believer in hard work builds character , and its just not there nowadays it seems

Mac
10-16-2009, 03:23 AM
I look at the pursuits also .

thats a place i feel i have troubles , my dreams and pursuits.

I may not be grasping the entirety of it .

My pursuits are a happy , healthy family . I dont want my Wife or children to ever want or need. And to me that is where i place most importance. I hear guys say they want to be succesful at this , and buy this and have that.
I dont , i want to live in my little house , on my little patch of dirt with my little family . I am perfectly content here . I enjoy it here.

But on the same token i wonder if i am selling myself short , does God have a bigger plan for me that i should be driving towards with more ambition ? I guess my direction is blurred in that instance. I know where i want to be , i just dont know if i am taking the right path to that destination . The way i picture it is there is one destination where i need to get to . But there are several roads that lead to that destination . Am i on the right path , am i following the plan , or am i just taking the easiest way to it.

Im not really good at explaining things that i am thinking , it tends to get jumbled together .


like i said , i may be totally blowing past the whole point of this . But its got me thinking and stuff tends to get wrote down when that happens.

NateR
10-16-2009, 03:26 AM
1) Natures first green is Gold, her hardest hue to hold, an early leaf a flower, but only for an hour, then leaf subsides to leaf, eden sank down to grief, dawn goes on to day, nothing Gold can stay

2) I agree

3) :sad:

4) I aggree

5) you'll have to define "enjoy life" better then that. Most men I know.."enjoy life" by drinking and smoking far to much, their thrill is in getting sloshed" Thats not enjoyable to me. Besides...Enjoyment often comes from sinful things...and we shouldnt be doing that. I dont really "enjoy" life in terms of some of those key words. Life for me is about overcoming hardship, its not about enjoyment. Thats comes after you die :)

Initially, I'm just posting the material without interjecting my own opinions, but I don't necessarily think that every man needs all four adventures in his life. I believe that the Spiritual Adventure should be the one that we focus the most on and then we allow GOD to bring the other adventures into our lives. So I don't plan to have the Family Adventure either and I have no problem with that. Like Jesus said, some men aren't married simply because they have no interest in being married.

I think the "enjoy life" adventure is implying non-destructive activities. Stuff like going camping, fishing, hunting, mountain climbing, etc. Things that allow for male bonding.

NateR
10-16-2009, 03:28 AM
on the destabilizer side in the present lifestlye .
Under the 4 biggest problems . I dont feel i have any of those " i know they are examples" but honestly My marrige is great, i dont think we ever fight , Maybe have a spat over whose gonna do the dishes or who didnt take out the trash but thats as far as it ever goes , no cross words really.
My relationship with my sons is perfect. the best part of my day is when i get home to those 2 boys meeting me att he door , Boone asking about my day and Hank babbling non stop with a smile on his face and throwing in a DADA every now and then lol.
My job ... I go to work with my Dad and my Brother . we have a good time , we set our own hours , the pay is good and we get along . I dont enjoy some of the things the job entails but i enjoy it as a whole and look forward to going to work .
Money ..... Thats a tough one , i dont usually have money problems , i dont have enough by anymeans to just run out and do everything i ever wanted to do , but i have enough when the boys would like to have a little something i can usually get by with it , or when Becky wants to go out to eat somewhere we can usually do that . But im happy , i have learned to live a lifestyle that doesnt require alot of need therefore monitary needs are not great besides the basics.

Well, the goal is to take care of those four areas because they are the biggest problem areas for most men. If you don't have any problems there, then you are already a step ahead. :)

NateR
10-16-2009, 03:30 AM
I look at the pursuits also .

thats a place i feel i have troubles , my dreams and pursuits.

I may not be grasping the entirety of it .

My pursuits are a happy , healthy family . I dont want my Wife or children to ever want or need. And to me that is where i place most importance. I hear guys say they want to be succesful at this , and buy this and have that.
I dont , i want to live in my little house , on my little patch of dirt with my little family . I am perfectly content here . I enjoy it here.

But on the same token i wonder if i am selling myself short , does God have a bigger plan for me that i should be driving towards with more ambition ? I guess my direction is blurred in that instance. I know where i want to be , i just dont know if i am taking the right path to that destination . The way i picture it is there is one destination where i need to get to . But there are several roads that lead to that destination . Am i on the right path , am i following the plan , or am i just taking the easiest way to it.

Im not really good at explaining things that i am thinking , it tends to get jumbled together .


like i said , i may be totally blowing past the whole point of this . But its got me thinking and stuff tends to get wrote down when that happens.

Well, one of your long term goals could be raising two boys who love GOD and have a desire to follow and serve Him. When they move on to adulthood and make the transition from being your sons to being your friends, then you can plan some man-sized adventures to go on with them.

Just my initial thoughts after reading your comments.

Mac
10-16-2009, 03:36 AM
Well, one of your long term goals could be raising two boys who love GOD and have a desire to follow and serve Him. When they move on to adulthood and make the transition from being your sons to being your friends, then you can plan some man-sized adventures to go on with them.

Just my initial thoughts after reading your comments.


See , i take those things as "Givens" . I mean , that is what i EXPECT to happen . See , thats one of my problems when i try to type out my thoughts , ill leave stuff out , taking the short way around lol.

But yea , i understand what you are saying and thats something that i dont worry about , i mean , Thats how i feel i am raising them so it doesnt bother me . What does bother me is the current state of things and the difficulties that are sure to arrise along the way

Conrad
10-16-2009, 08:47 AM
Nate,

Thanks for the thread. It's a great topic. This is what we've been working on in the study, which is co-ed, ...trying to convince the college kids to grow up. What I've learned over the past 2.5 years is that these "kids" are hungry for someone to tell them to grow up (expectations) and show (not tell) them how (Christlikeness...etc). They respond strongly one way or the other. Your post is appreciated. I also enjoyed Paul Washer's comments on this subject, which he hits while he preaches on Dating (search for it). Another interesting place I've seen a couple times is http://www.cbmw.org/ for anyone interested.

Thanks again Nate, & Mac for the discussion.

Tyburn
10-16-2009, 12:06 PM
you say that you really dont enjoy life ?
what about your trips to the USA ?...you dont enjoy those ?
i agree with you Dave life sometimes is about overcoming hardship but life is also about enjoying yourself from time to time and no i dont think one has to get sloshed as you put it to actually have fun.

good post Nate....i envy the opportunity you have to sit and discuss things like this with your peers.


I said you need to "define" the term. I enjoy bits of my life...but others looking at it might not think that its anything to outrageous...you know the key words on the list. Well I enjoy posting on the forum...but could you say that was "thrilling" enjoyment??

So it depends on how you define the term :)

Tyburn
10-16-2009, 12:08 PM
Initially, I'm just posting the material without interjecting my own opinions, but I don't necessarily think that every man needs all four adventures in his life. I believe that the Spiritual Adventure should be the one that we focus the most on and then we allow GOD to bring the other adventures into our lives. So I don't plan to have the Family Adventure either and I have no problem with that. Like Jesus said, some men aren't married simply because they have no interest in being married.

I think the "enjoy life" adventure is implying non-destructive activities. Stuff like going camping, fishing, hunting, mountain climbing, etc. Things that allow for male bonding.

Well I dont really do male bonding :blink::laugh:

So...you dont have to have all four areas to be a real man :huh: ohh...thats good...will two do :laugh: