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VCURamFan
08-11-2009, 03:09 PM
Having been awarded an honorary PhD in Recknekery by the prestigious BS Univeristy (no, no, it stands for "Boomer State", not that other thing!), I feel it only proper that Dr. Mac prove himself with a "dissertation defense" of sorts. All redneck questions, from hunting to mudding, NASCAR to mobile homes, PBR to PBR, no topic is off-limits. The Country Sage's resident Country Doctor takes all comers!!

MattHughesRocks
08-11-2009, 03:18 PM
He used to be Dear Abby to me but whatever :laugh:

Dear Dr Mac,

Why is it that everything a redneck does involved dirt?

Sincerely, Me

Boomer
08-11-2009, 03:25 PM
He used to be Dear Abby to me but whatever :laugh:

Dear Dr Mac,

Why is it that everything a redneck does involved dirt?

Sincerely, Me

Don't worry Mac I got this one ...

uuutttummmm ..

Dear Me,

Suck it ..

~Boom

VCURamFan
08-11-2009, 03:32 PM
Don't worry Mac I got this one ...

uuutttummmm ..

Dear Me,

Suck it ..

~BoomHahahaha, just like any other Professor with a doctorate, Mac is instantly giving all his work to his Graduate Students!:laugh:

Preach
08-11-2009, 04:06 PM
Dr. Mac
As a first time writter I would like to ask your preference in regards to rifle's. What is a good all around rifle. The 243 larger smaller?
Thanks,
Shooting Blanks

Chuck
08-11-2009, 05:22 PM
Dr. Mac,

You're stuck on a remote island and you can only take 1 of the following:

Duct tape,
Something flannel
Bailing wire
WD-40

Which do you pick?

Signed,

Curious in Ciaro

VCURamFan
08-11-2009, 05:41 PM
Dr. Mac,

You're stuck on a remote island and you can only take 1 of the following:

Duct tape,
Something flannel
Bailing wire
WD-40

Which do you pick?

Signed,

Curious in CiaroWell, I'm not really qualified to answer since I'm not a redneck, but I would way the duct tape. You can build stuff with it, make a shirt from it & even use it to strangle a dude & take his WD-40 from him!!

adamt
08-11-2009, 05:47 PM
Deer docmac, i need to make a small mushroom cloud, what is the cheapest(not necessarily the safest) way of doin' this?

sined,

pyro in iowa

VCURamFan
08-11-2009, 05:54 PM
Dear Dr. Mac,

I'm a poor suburbanite (emphasis on the poor part) interested in earning my flannel & getting into hunting. What would suggest as a first step that would easily balance my need for back hair & my lack of greenbacks?

Sincerely,
Softie in VA

Jason 16
08-11-2009, 05:54 PM
dear mac what do rednecks see in NASCAR

Mac
08-11-2009, 07:57 PM
LMFAO !!!!!!! I got some work to do but i will deffinatley be back on here a bit later and answer all your questions , Such as " how many teeth can a country girl lose and still be considered cute" etc.

Crisco
08-11-2009, 08:45 PM
Dear Dr. Mac,

Who is the hottest Redneck in history. I think Britney Spears. What say you master of Redneckery.

Always,

Trapped in Jersey with oppressive government and lack of fun.

VCURamFan
08-11-2009, 08:49 PM
Dear Dr. Mac,

Who is the hottest Redneck in history. I think Britney Spears. What say you master of Redneckery.

Always,

Trapped in Jersey with oppressive government and lack of fun.Dear Trapped in Jersey with oppressive government and lack of fun,

I respectfully disagree. I believe that Jessica Simpson is much hotter.

Dr. Mac, can you resolve this for us?

Sincerely,
Loves Chicken of the Sea

Crisco
08-11-2009, 09:26 PM
Dear Trapped in Jersey with oppressive government and lack of fun,

I respectfully disagree. I believe that Jessica Simpson is much hotter.

Dr. Mac, can you resolve this for us?

Sincerely,
Loves Chicken of the Sea


In response to Love Chicken of the sea,

I do not believe Jessica simpson qualifies as a redneck. She does not do any redneck things. Please Dr. Mac do settle this for us.

Sincerely,

Trapped in Jersey with oppressive government and lack of fun

Mac
08-11-2009, 09:36 PM
He used to be Dear Abby to me but whatever :laugh:

Dear Dr Mac,

Why is it that everything a redneck does involved dirt?

Sincerely, Me


Dear Me,

Things are just more fun in the dirt , whether it be a truck , a woman , or a fight . Its always a better time in the dirt. Why is it funner you may ask , wellllll to quote Joe Dirt " how does the posi trac on a plymouth work? i dunno , it just does" .

Mac
08-11-2009, 09:53 PM
Dr. Mac
As a first time writter I would like to ask your preference in regards to rifle's. What is a good all around rifle. The 243 larger smaller?
Thanks,
Shooting Blanks


Dear Shooting blanks

There are alot of factors to account for before purchasing a rifle . Very few take into account all factors , most are just simply overlooked or not thoght through . I will cover some of the basics or more over looked factors briefly.
First off , most people want the most bang for the buck . Stevens , and savage both make very affordable rifles for the common man , price doesnt vary due to caliber on these specific rifles . So alot of times people will go for the higher powered rifle for example a 300 win mag. Now alot of factors come into play here. What is the landsacpe like that you plan on using this rifle in . What is the availability of the rounds , What is the cost of the rounds . How quickly can you come up with the ammunition for this rifle .
Sure its fun to split a coyote in half with a 45-70 govt , BUT that box of shells is over 30 bucks. Plus say your buddies call up on a sunday night , they are planning a big yote hunt in the morning , Your out of shells tho , youre NOT going to go to walmart and buy a box of those big bore shells. So your out of luck . Around here the big calibuers like the 300 win just are not a safe round . The land is just to flat to accomodate a rifle with that kind of range. You bounce a 300 out there 500 yards and skip it on some frozen ground in january there is no telling what it might hit.

Which brings me to my preference in rifles. First off it is hands down the .243 Mine is a savage , we shoot reloads in it which consist of 44 grains of varget powder with Hornady moly coated 58 gr vmaxs. These bumps the speed up to just over 4100 fps according to hornadys reloading book. The 243 is a great all around shooting caliber. Bullets come in a huge variety and they are plentiful . A 400+ yard shot on a coyote does not scare me at all with a dialed in 243 shooting the right round . The gun itself is inexpensive if you go with the right mfg and the rounds wont break your wallet.

My second choice is a 223 . SImply because "AT ONE TIME" the availability of ammo. With mr obama in his current position hes got everyone scrambling to grab what 223 rounds they can snatch up. It is a great all around calibur for varmints and such and like the 243 the platforms out there are endless for it . Plus if youve got that 223 in the cabinet and you get that phone call on sunday night about the morning hunt , " assuming they have them back in stock" You can run down to walmart and pick up a 40 round brick of 55 grain remington umc's for abround 20 bucks.

So to cut to the point . The biggest factors you need to look at in buying a rifle is 1 , the game you are after. 2 the cost and availabilty of ammo 3. The terrain you plan on using this rifle in .

Now im not saying just because it is plentiful , go out and buy a 223 to shoot a deer with because if your in illinois , its illeagle , and 2 a 223 just isnt a large game round . Buy the calibur for the animals you plan to take.

this is based soley on my prefrences , im sure there are some things im over looking . I use my rifles here mainly for coyote hunting , There is no rifle season in illinois for deer . So for flatland varmint hunting , these are my suggestions.

rearnakedchoke
08-11-2009, 10:06 PM
Dear Doc Mac,

I am going to try to noodle me some catfish ... what time of day is best to a) noodle a cat and b) avoid other more dangerous critters that may lurk in the water ...

Mac
08-11-2009, 10:07 PM
Dr. Mac,

You're stuck on a remote island and you can only take 1 of the following:

Duct tape,
Something flannel
Bailing wire
WD-40

Which do you pick?

Signed,

Curious in Ciaro

Your coming in loud and clear Cairo .

Hard to judge here , Good question . It depends on what the quantities of these items i am allowed to bring are. I dont forsee a need for the flannel so thats out . So it brings us to the essentials. The Duct tape , ehh , ill leave it also . This is where it is tricky , Bailing wire has soooooo many uses , CUt it in small pieces and try to harden it in your camp fire to make fish hooks , use it to tie your rafted logs to gether to get off the island . Or wd-40 . Alot of folks dont know what wd-40 stands for . You see way back when a group of fellas were trying to develop a water displacer. they tried and tried and never got it right, UNTIL the 40th try . So there fore wd-40 actually stands for water displacer number 40 . Soooo the only benefits i can see of having it is One of the lesser known uses of wd-40 is a fish sttractant . Yes thats right , There are alot of anglers out there that will spray there bait down with wd-40 mbecause the fish oils in it attract more action on the ole rod n reel .

But i dont plan on hanging out on this island and trying my hand at deep sea fishing . I want to get gone so my choice is bailing wire hands down.

Mac
08-11-2009, 10:12 PM
Deer docmac, i need to make a small mushroom cloud, what is the cheapest(not necessarily the safest) way of doin' this?

sined,

pyro in iowa

Dear Hawkeye Pyro

Thats simple . Tannerite

http://www.tannerite.com/

its a 2 part "binary explosive" it is very safe and since it is 2 part it can be shipped right to your door through the mail . Created by Daniel Tanner, it is designed as exploding rifle targets. Open flame , low caliber rifles and hand guns will not set it off. It is set off by a high velocity projectile. High powered rifles. 9mm, 22 cal , 38 pistol just do not carry the velocity needed to set it off. I have found that the faster the bullet , the bigger the explosion . Ive used it to rid myself of unwanted laptop computers , Unused Christmas elve lawn decorations and even 10- or 15 halloween pumpkins . Use pumpkins if you can , it makes a pretty orange haze everywhere.

Mac
08-11-2009, 10:17 PM
Dear Dr. Mac,

I'm a poor suburbanite (emphasis on the poor part) interested in earning my flannel & getting into hunting. What would suggest as a first step that would easily balance my need for back hair & my lack of greenbacks?

Sincerely,
Softie in VA

Welcome to the peanut gallery Softie

Small game . Rabbits and squirels . Start there , deffinatley start there. It is a ton of fun and the perfect way to get your feet wet in the pastime of hunting .

You can use either a 22 or 17 caliber rifle which can be bought cheap or a shotgun . I prefer the 22 rifle . Rabbits prepared right taste better than any chicken youve ever ate so thats another big plus.

If you really want to have a good time at it , then browse around for someone in your area that raises Beagles. By you a companion and a hunting buddy all in one shot . It is so much fun to hunt rabbits with beagles .

So theres my advice , start reading up on rabbit hunting and squirrel hunting , By a 22 or 17 caliber rifle , and have a blast . As a reward for killing your first rabbit , ill send you my recipie.

Mac
08-11-2009, 10:20 PM
dear mac what do rednecks see in NASCAR

Dear Jason .

I HAVE NO CLUE!!!! I guess some of it could be traced back to the old boot legging days of running moonshine . Personally , you couldnt pay me to sit down and watch 5 minutes of nascar. I just do not like it , if you see em make one lap then theres a good bet the next 500 of them are going to look very similiar. I would rather watch Andy Dick take on Liberache in a tennis match than watch nascar.

Mac
08-11-2009, 10:24 PM
Dear Dr. Mac,

Who is the hottest Redneck in history. I think Britney Spears. What say you master of Redneckery.

Always,

Trapped in Jersey with oppressive government and lack of fun.



Dear Trapped in Jersey with oppressive government and lack of fun,

I respectfully disagree. I believe that Jessica Simpson is much hotter.

Dr. Mac, can you resolve this for us?

Sincerely,
Loves Chicken of the Sea


In response to Love Chicken of the sea,

I do not believe Jessica simpson qualifies as a redneck. She does not do any redneck things. Please Dr. Mac do settle this for us.

Sincerely,

Trapped in Jersey with oppressive government and lack of fun



Neither .

The winner of that would hands down go to -------------------

the original Daisy Duke
http://theoriginaldaisyduke.com/images/the_original_daisy_duke_1.jpg



BUTTTTT If we are going modern day then , one of you were partially right , Jessica Simpson AS daisy Duke

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/92/249921023_432b2848f6.jpg

Mac
08-11-2009, 10:51 PM
Dear Doc Mac,

I am going to try to noodle me some catfish ... what time of day is best to a) noodle a cat and b) avoid other more dangerous critters that may lurk in the water ...


Why Noodle the catfish ? Ive got a mcuhhhhhh better way , that you will not have to worry about grabbing a pissed off muskrat.

I Build these little jewels that take all the work out of it . Hook the red lead to the hot post on the boat battery , the black lead to the negative post. Hook the green lead to a drag wire anywhere from 25-50 feet long . Troll down the river and simply scoop up the catfish when they float to the surface. The low voltage current stuns the catfish and they will float right to the top , where they can be netted and brought into the boat for "examination" . Water must have current " flowing" like a river , lakes and ponds dont work . Water must be above 70 degrees . Which most rivers are this time of year. Is illeagle to use in most states so only use it on private property or in states where electro fishing is ok .


You think im joking in this letter but im telling you the truth lol. I built these things for about 2 years and sold them on ebay , sold most of them to georgia and north carolina where it is legal in some areas . I build them and sell them for 65 dollars apiece. Come with full instructions and money back garuntee . Here is a couple pictures. One is from one of my customers first take with it down in georgia.

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f186/uhmname/yyy.jpg


You can choose from one of these 4 colors .they are a little bigger than a pack of smokes
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f186/uhmname/PICT0225.jpg

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f186/uhmname/PICT0224.jpg

rearnakedchoke
08-12-2009, 12:31 AM
Nice ... i think that is illegal up here in canada .. unless maybe you are native ... almost as easy as this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_fUmx-HI0Q&feature=PlayList&p=26A2F90117ABC1BA&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=59

Chuck
08-12-2009, 01:03 AM
Having been awarded an honorary PhD in Recknekery by the prestigious BS Univeristy (no, no, it stands for "Boomer State", not that other thing!), I feel it only proper that Dr. Mac prove himself with a "dissertation defense" of sorts. All redneck questions, from hunting to mudding, NASCAR to mobile homes, PBR to PBR, no topic is off-limits. The Country Sage's resident Country Doctor takes all comers!!

Hey... I just thought of something..... I'm the one who gave Mac the PhD in Redneckery..... does that make me the Dean of BSU??? :Whistle:

MattHughesRocks
08-12-2009, 01:55 AM
Imposter!:scared0011:

Don't worry Mac I got this one ...

uuutttummmm ..

Dear Me,

Suck it ..

~Boom

SteveT
08-12-2009, 02:30 AM
Dr. Mac

I'm schedule to head down to Bloomington, Illinois at the end of September for my work. What would you suggest a couple of Canadian folks to do for two weeks while we're down there.

I'm willing to take suggestions from anyone else who lives in Illinois as well.

Signed

Curious Canadian

Mac
08-12-2009, 03:11 AM
Dr. Mac

I'm schedule to head down to Bloomington, Illinois at the end of September for my work. What would you suggest a couple of Canadian folks to do for two weeks while we're down there.

I'm willing to take suggestions from anyone else who lives in Illinois as well.

Signed

Curious Canadian

LOL , Curious Canadian.

Well Steve ive only been to bloomington once inmy life . And it was just driving Through to go get a 55 chevy sooo as for that area im not real sure.

But down south here a little farther i know there will be alot of fall festivals going on . Check out the great punkin patch in arthur . Or bring your rod n reels and come down to lake shelbyville and the dam and get in some good fishing . That is a good time of year to be down here thats for sure.

Blmfighter could probably field this question better than i can :wink:

SteveT
08-12-2009, 03:20 AM
LOL , Curious Canadian.

Well Steve ive only been to bloomington once inmy life . And it was just driving Through to go get a 55 chevy sooo as for that area im not real sure.

But down south here a little farther i know there will be alot of fall festivals going on . Check out the great punkin patch in arthur . Or bring your rod n reels and come down to lake shelbyville and the dam and get in some good fishing . That is a good time of year to be down here thats for sure.

Blmfighter could probably field this question better than i can :wink:

Thanks Mac...I have to touch base with Blmfighter again as I was supposed to head down to Bloomington in May and we were thinking of meeting up since we work for the same company.

The people I'm going down with are UFC fans and the one girl that is going with us states that she loves Matt...so I don't know if will do a St. Louis run during the middle weekend we're down there or not to the gym to check it out.

Anyways, thanks for the advice :happy0159:

Boomer
08-12-2009, 06:31 AM
Deer Dr. Mac

My woman beats me at night with a coat hanger just to see me cry. She says my tears help her sleep. What should I do?

signed

whelps on back

Boomer
08-12-2009, 07:31 AM
Neither .

The winner of that would hands down go to -------------------

the original Daisy Duke
http://theoriginaldaisyduke.com/images/the_original_daisy_duke_1.jpg



BUTTTTT If we are going modern day then , one of you were partially right , Jessica Simpson AS daisy Duke

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/92/249921023_432b2848f6.jpg

Amen

Llamafighter
08-12-2009, 03:11 PM
Amen

I 100% percent agree.
#2 would be jaimie Presley from My name is Earl

Crisco
08-12-2009, 03:23 PM
I 100% percent agree.
#2 would be jaimie Presley from My name is Earl

Agreed. She is pretty smokin'.

Mac
08-12-2009, 05:55 PM
I 100% percent agree.
#2 would be jaimie Presley from My name is Earl
Lama . I actually wrote Jamie Presley down as modern day , but then went with Jessica to stick with the Daisy theme . But yes , Jamie was my first choice lol.

Mac
08-12-2009, 05:59 PM
Deer Dr. Mac

My woman beats me at night with a coat hanger just to see me cry. She says my tears help her sleep. What should I do?

signed

whelps on back

Dear whipped Puppy

Sac up pardner. It is comon law in the world of redneckery that Beating a woman is not allowed. BUT , on the same token , it is an unspoken rule as well that , if you hit like a man , prepared to GET hit like a man.

My plan , find one of the tougher local women . Look behind bars , a little tip , the more facial hair the woman has , the tougher she is . Slip her a 5 spot "make sure you inform her this is not for dumpster relations behind the sizzler" . Offer her 5 bucks and maybe throw in some gift certificates to either kfc or the local liquor store. Then give her a 5 foot chunk of extension chord and tell her where your wife works.


Let me know how everything works out.

MattHughesRocks
08-12-2009, 06:04 PM
:laugh: :laugh: :happy0198:



Dear whipped Puppy

Sac up pardner. It is comon law in the world of redneckery that Beating a woman is not allowed. BUT , on the same token , it is an unspoken rule as well that , if you hit like a man , prepared to GET hit like a man.

My plan , find one of the tougher local women . Look behind bars , a little tip , the more facial hair the woman has , the tougher she is . Slip her a 5 spot "make sure you inform her this is not for dumpster relations behind the sizzler" . Offer her 5 bucks and maybe throw in some gift certificates to either kfc or the local liquor store. Then give her a 5 foot chunk of extension chord and tell her where your wife works.


Let me know how everything works out.

MattHughesRocks
08-12-2009, 06:06 PM
Dear Dr. Mac, Why do renecks think it's cool to smash beer cans on their heads? I've always wondered....:blink:

Signed,
Wondering

Boomer
08-12-2009, 06:52 PM
Dear whipped Puppy

Sac up pardner. It is comon law in the world of redneckery that Beating a woman is not allowed. BUT , on the same token , it is an unspoken rule as well that , if you hit like a man , prepared to GET hit like a man.

My plan , find one of the tougher local women . Look behind bars , a little tip , the more facial hair the woman has , the tougher she is . Slip her a 5 spot "make sure you inform her this is not for dumpster relations behind the sizzler" . Offer her 5 bucks and maybe throw in some gift certificates to either kfc or the local liquor store. Then give her a 5 foot chunk of extension chord and tell her where your wife works.


Let me know how everything works out.

Dear Dr. Mac

This went horribly wrong. I went to a dive bar as you said, and found the ugliest hairy woman I could find .. I slip her a 5er and say, "hey hon, my girlfriend beats me at night .. don't want no alley sex .. but would appreciate it if you would beat her with this cord."

Turns out the "she" was a "he". He started out with what made me think he would beat a woman and why I called him hun. I then went on to explain I had never seen teets that big before of a man and from behind it looked like he had child bearing hips.

I am now just getting out of surgery having a cord removed from my back end and my girl just posted the whole operation on youtube.

signed

Walks bow legged

Mac
08-12-2009, 07:17 PM
Dear Dr. Mac

This went horribly wrong. I went to a dive bar as you said, and found the ugliest hairy woman I could find .. I slip her a 5er and say, "hey hon, my girlfriend beats me at night .. don't want no alley sex .. but would appreciate it if you would beat her with this cord."

Turns out the "she" was a "he". He started out with what made me think he would beat a woman and why I called him hun. I then went on to explain I had never seen teets that big before of a man and from behind it looked like he had child bearing hips.

I am now just getting out of surgery having a cord removed from my back end and my girl just posted the whole operation on youtube.

signed

Walks bow legged


Dear Gender deciphering challenged person

I heard no mention anywhere in your letter stating anything about KFC and Whiskey coupons. In this very diversified culture you are dealing with , emotons can run high , boil over even in situations like you put yourself into . I consider this partially my fault because i apparently did not emphasize the importance of deep fried poultry . Sour mash whiskey and just how much of a factor it is in these folks way of life..

Had you been equiped with the proper redeemable coupons as i had previously stated , i honestly feel this would have turned out to your advantage. But apparently you are as poor at following directions as you are at deciding weather or not a person is carrying the X or the Y chromozone.

After re-evaluating your case. I would like to buy your wife some new clothes hangers. :tongue0011:

Crisco
08-12-2009, 07:21 PM
Dear Dr. Mac, Why do renecks think it's cool to smash beer cans on their heads? I've always wondered....:blink:

Signed,
Wondering

It's manly... duhhhhh

Boomer
08-12-2009, 07:24 PM
:laugh: :laugh:

Dear Gender deciphering challenged person

I heard no mention anywhere in your letter stating anything about KFC and Whiskey coupons. In this very diversified culture you are dealing with , emotons can run high , boil over even in situations like you put yourself into . I consider this partially my fault because i apparently did not emphasize the importance of deep fried poultry . Sour mash whiskey and just how much of a factor it is in these folks way of life..

Had you been equiped with the proper redeemable coupons as i had previously stated , i honestly feel this would have turned out to your advantage. But apparently you are as poor at following directions as you are at deciding weather or not a person is carrying the X or the Y chromozone.

After re-evaluating your case. I would like to buy your wife some new clothes hangers. :tongue0011:

Mac
08-12-2009, 07:27 PM
Dear Dr. Mac, Why do renecks think it's cool to smash beer cans on their heads? I've always wondered....:blink:

Signed,
Wondering


Dear Wondering

Because Pansys , Homos , Lawyers ,Govt Officials and other assorted Richard Noggins cant do it . Therefore it is a way to further ourselves from this class of people .

A little known piece of fact is , Rednecks look down on lawayers , As most people look down on pedophiles. Actually it is a saying that both lawyers and pedophiles have alot in comon , they are both out trying to screw the little people.

Same rule Applys to the democrat party.

Boomer
08-12-2009, 07:33 PM
Govt Officials

:angry:

Crisco
08-12-2009, 07:43 PM
:angry:

Your not a govt official.


Your a super spy. Who hunts drug dealing taliban and kills them silently.

Mac
08-12-2009, 07:43 PM
:angry:

No No No . Not Boomer type Govt Officials . Congresmen , Senator type govt officials :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Boomer
08-12-2009, 07:44 PM
No No No . Not Boomer type Govt Officials . Congresmen , Senator type govt officials :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


:happydancing: :applause: :biggrin-1:

Boomer
08-12-2009, 07:45 PM
Your not a govt official.


Your a super spy. Who hunts drug dealing taliban and kills them silently.

You know too much Jersey

Chuck
08-12-2009, 08:00 PM
Dear Dr. Mac

This went horribly wrong. I went to a dive bar as you said, and found the ugliest hairy woman I could find .. I slip her a 5er and say, "hey hon, my girlfriend beats me at night .. don't want no alley sex .. but would appreciate it if you would beat her with this cord."

Turns out the "she" was a "he". He started out with what made me think he would beat a woman and why I called him hun. I then went on to explain I had never seen teets that big before of a man and from behind it looked like he had child bearing hips.

I am now just getting out of surgery having a cord removed from my back end and my girl just posted the whole operation on youtube.

signed

Walks bow legged

When did Frank Trigg grow his hair out????? :huh:

Crisco
08-12-2009, 08:11 PM
You know too much Jersey


OH NOES!!!!


I SEE NOTHING!!! I SEE NOTHING!!!

TexasRN
08-12-2009, 08:20 PM
You know too much Jersey


Bye, Crisco. It was nice knowing you.....



~Amy

Crisco
08-12-2009, 08:39 PM
Bye, Crisco. It was nice knowing you.....



~Amy

Remember me will you? :cry: :cry:

Llamafighter
08-12-2009, 09:09 PM
Lama . I actually wrote Jamie Presley down as modern day , but then went with Jessica to stick with the Daisy theme . But yes , Jamie was my first choice lol.

Dear Dr. Mac,

I was pleased with your response and wanted to high-five, ya. How would a redneck demonstrate fraternal appreciation? I first thought that slugging ones friend in the shoulder would work, but that usually depends on the number of Miller Lites said Pal, has consumed. your thoughts?

BTW Lovin' this section!:laugh:

Rev
08-12-2009, 09:32 PM
Greatest thread ever!!! I am crying down here.

Deer Dr. mac,

How distant does the cousin have to be for it to be ok?

Sincerely,
my cousin wants to know

Mac
08-12-2009, 09:49 PM
Dear Dr. Mac,

I was pleased with your response and wanted to high-five, ya. How would a redneck demonstrate fraternal appreciation? I first thought that slugging ones friend in the shoulder would work, but that usually depends on the number of Miller Lites said Pal, has consumed. your thoughts?

BTW Lovin' this section!:laugh:


Ahhhh , the coveted High 5 is a tricky subject. It is a simple enough jester , yet very difficult to pull off and not look like a frat house douche bag. There are several ways to "neck it up" if you like . Here is an example.

Take a Cigarrete "LIT" , place it between your middle finger and your index finger. Have the but leading out the backside of your hand and the lit cherry on the palm side of your hand approx a half inch from your palm . When the High 5 is performed. Grasp the High fivees hand and say , "first one that hollers is a pu#$y" . A small 2nd degree burn will "neck up" any occasion , especially a high five. Plus if he hollers you get to call him names .


THis also works if you spit your redman into the palm of your hand before said high 5 is perfomed. It is funny for everyone except the high fivee. And let me tell you , there is nothin girly about a 300 pound man in bib overalls pissed off and ready to thump you all the while cleaning chew spit from his ears and eyes.

Hope this lends some help .

Rev
08-12-2009, 09:52 PM
Ahhhh , the coveted High 5 is a tricky subject. It is a simple enough jester , yet very difficult to pull off and not look like a frat house douche bag. There are several ways to "neck it up" if you like . Here is an example.

Take a Cigarrete "LIT" , place it between your middle finger and your index finger. Have the but leading out the backside of your hand and the lit cherry on the palm side of your hand approx a half inch from your palm . When the High 5 is performed. Grasp the High fivees hand and say , "first one that hollers is a pu#$y" . A small 2nd degree burn will "neck up" any occasion , especially a high five. Plus if he hollers you get to call him names .


THis also works if you spit your redman into the palm of your hand before said high 5 is perfomed. It is funny for everyone except the high fivee. And let me tell you , there is nothin girly about a 300 pound man in bib overalls pissed off and ready to thump you all the while cleaning chew spit from his ears and eyes.

Hope this lends some help .

LOL you guys have got to come and hang out down here and go hog hunting!! You will leave with plenty of new material on rednecks! lol

SteveT
08-12-2009, 09:53 PM
Greatest thread ever!!! I am crying down here.



Agreed!!! I think I might have to nominate this thread as the thread of the month

:w00t:

Mac
08-12-2009, 10:07 PM
Greatest thread ever!!! I am crying down here.

Deer Dr. mac,

How distant does the cousin have to be for it to be ok?

Sincerely,
my cousin wants to know

WOW you guys are pulling out the tricky ones on me .

The answer to this question really varies by region . In the central part of the country Kentucky , Tennessee the First cousin is fair game , along with the sister , step or full blooded. And in remote areas of Kentucky " unfortunatley" concent is not needed. You can pretty Much base the starting point of the scale in TN and Ky and then , from there on out when you move one state away you move one step of cousin away , For example Illinois would be first cousin acceptable and back through 2nd , 3rd and so on . Wisconsin would not be first cousin acceptable , but Second and back would . THis method stops at 4 states out . Fourth cousins are acceptable Nation wide .

Now Genetics do play a role in this to an extent . Say you are living in Missouri And Have a first cousin that has been Making google eyes across the potatoe salad from you at the family reunion . You think to yourself " Hey , im in Missouri , KY is just there across the border , ITS GAME ON BABY" Then when you glance under the table to see if its her or Your Great Uncle Ray ray playing sock hockey with you , you notice she only has 3 toes. Under closer examination you see an ear is deformed and she has 2 thumbs ON ONE HAND . Well Pardner , even though you are still thinking " the kiddie pool is safe to play in " im gonna have to be the fat kid pissin his shorts in the shallow end for ya. She is already canaminated. Its game off for you . You see when the blood lines get so intertwined these defects can form , when they get to a certain stage of deformity , it doesnt matter which state you live in , its off limits.

Now take my advice and get to crashin those reunions!

Rev
08-12-2009, 10:11 PM
holy crap!!! I am dying!!! I am at my office at church and my youth pastor heard me laughing and had to see what was so funny. Now he is on the phone with another youth pastor in the area telling him to get on and read. We should be charging admission for this.

Tyburn
08-12-2009, 11:07 PM
Deer docmac, i need to make a small mushroom cloud, what is the cheapest(not necessarily the safest) way of doin' this?

sined,

pyro in iowa
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Preach
08-12-2009, 11:07 PM
WOW you guys are pulling out the tricky ones on me .

The answer to this question really varies by region . In the central part of the country Kentucky , Tennessee the First cousin is fair game , along with the sister , step or full blooded. And in remote areas of Kentucky " unfortunatley" concent is not needed. You can pretty Much base the starting point of the scale in TN and Ky and then , from there on out when you move one state away you move one step of cousin away , For example Illinois would be first cousin acceptable and back through 2nd , 3rd and so on . Wisconsin would not be first cousin acceptable , but Second and back would . THis method stops at 4 states out . Fourth cousins are acceptable Nation wide .

Now Genetics do play a role in this to an extent . Say you are living in Missouri And Have a first cousin that has been Making google eyes across the potatoe salad from you at the family reunion . You think to yourself " Hey , im in Missouri , KY is just there across the border , ITS GAME ON BABY" Then when you glance under the table to see if its her or Your Great Uncle Ray ray playing sock hockey with you , you notice she only has 3 toes. Under closer examination you see an ear is deformed and she has 2 thumbs ON ONE HAND . Well Pardner , even though you are still thinking " the kiddie pool is safe to play in " im gonna have to be the fat kid pissin his shorts in the shallow end for ya. She is already canaminated. Its game off for you . You see when the blood lines get so intertwined these defects can form , when they get to a certain stage of deformity , it doesnt matter which state you live in , its off limits.

Now take my advice and get to crashin those reunions!

Plus it depends on how cute ya know

adamt
08-13-2009, 12:58 AM
Why Noodle the catfish ? Ive got a mcuhhhhhh better way , that you will not have to worry about grabbing a pissed off muskrat.

I Build these little jewels that take all the work out of it . Hook the red lead to the hot post on the boat battery , the black lead to the negative post. Hook the green lead to a drag wire anywhere from 25-50 feet long . Troll down the river and simply scoop up the catfish when they float to the surface. The low voltage current stuns the catfish and they will float right to the top , where they can be netted and brought into the boat for "examination" . Water must have current " flowing" like a river , lakes and ponds dont work . Water must be above 70 degrees . Which most rivers are this time of year. Is illeagle to use in most states so only use it on private property or in states where electro fishing is ok .


You think im joking in this letter but im telling you the truth lol. I built these things for about 2 years and sold them on ebay , sold most of them to georgia and north carolina where it is legal in some areas . I build them and sell them for 65 dollars apiece. Come with full instructions and money back garuntee . Here is a couple pictures. One is from one of my customers first take with it down in georgia.

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f186/uhmname/yyy.jpg


You can choose from one of these 4 colors .they are a little bigger than a pack of smokes
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f186/uhmname/PICT0225.jpg

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f186/uhmname/PICT0224.jpg

so why did you stop making them?

do forum members get a discount?

can i just buy the plans?

can you still get them on ebay?

wonder why it only works in current?

is there ANY way to make them work in still waters?

I am intrigued!

matthughesfan21
08-13-2009, 01:31 AM
Neither .

The winner of that would hands down go to -------------------

the original Daisy Duke
http://theoriginaldaisyduke.com/images/the_original_daisy_duke_1.jpg



BUTTTTT If we are going modern day then , one of you were partially right , Jessica Simpson AS daisy Duke

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/92/249921023_432b2848f6.jpgjessica had a few to much fried chicken, she plumped up....I'd consider Carrie Underwood a country girl and she's hot


http://funnyfunda.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/carrie-underwood-wallpapers.png

VCURamFan
08-13-2009, 01:56 AM
jessica had a few to much fried chicken, she plumped up....I'd consider Carrie Underwood a country girl and she's hot


http://funnyfunda.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/carrie-underwood-wallpapers.pngI love me some Carrie Underwood.
http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/4/9/3/4/14214394-14214396-large.jpg

http://images.askmen.com/galleries/singer/carrie-underwood/pictures/carrie-underwood-picture-6.jpg

Mac
08-13-2009, 02:49 AM
so why did you stop making them?

do forum members get a discount?

can i just buy the plans?

can you still get them on ebay?

wonder why it only works in current?

is there ANY way to make them work in still waters?

I am intrigued!


1 , Sure Could

2. No ,i will not sell my plans

3 No i no longer sell them on ebay , I was building and selling 10 -15 a week and could not keep up . I got tired of soldering my circuit boards up " all by hand" and it just became a pain in the hind end , yeah the money was good but i was really bored, then every tom dick and harry started trying to copy me so i just backed out of it and let em have it for awhile . Most of em fizzled out , think there may be one or 2 left still making them , but they are a different desing from mine,

4 & 5 It is low voltage , You can do the same thing with an old 5 bar magneto from a crank telephone but it is obvious what you are doing and you need two big wires instead of one small wire like mine uses, A big generator will work very well but it is very obvious . Ive seen guys use old linocl welders on generator trucks , just through the leads out off the boat ramp , but thats a good way to kill yourself. If you want it to work in still waters you gotta use a generator or something like that that puts out alot of current.

My stunners only work on catfish or fish with skin not scales.

MattHughesRocks
08-13-2009, 04:53 AM
Dear Mac Daddy,
Why does it seem like almost all the redneck folks are fat?

Signed,
Pass that redneck a sauage dog

Chuck
08-13-2009, 05:16 AM
Dear Mac Daddy,
Why does it seem like almost all the redneck folks are fat?

Signed,
Pass that redneck a sauage dog

While he certainly IS a Mac Daddy in every sense of the phrase... in this thread we should address him as Dr. Mac or Doc... I don't think a man with a PhD in Redneckery would even know how to answer a letter addressed to Mac Daddy..

for that he would need a PhD in Pimpery..... like Crisco or Ben for example...

VCURamFan
08-13-2009, 05:18 AM
While he certainly IS a Mac Daddy in every sense of the phrase... in this thread we should address him as Dr. Mac or Doc... I don't think a man with a PhD in Redneckery would even know how to answer a letter addressed to Mac Daddy..

for that he would need a PhD in Pimpery..... like Crisco or Ben for example...Hahaha, truth: I'm the Doc Daddy!:laugh:

MattHughesRocks
08-13-2009, 05:23 AM
Sorry :ashamed: It's Dr. Mac from now on Sir.

While he certainly IS a Mac Daddy in every sense of the phrase... in this thread we should address him as Dr. Mac or Doc... I don't think a man with a PhD in Redneckery would even know how to answer a letter addressed to Mac Daddy..

for that he would need a PhD in Pimpery..... like Crisco or Ben for example...

Chuck
08-13-2009, 11:54 AM
Sorry :ashamed: It's Dr. Mac from now on Sir.
:laugh: :laugh:

Llamafighter
08-13-2009, 07:01 PM
Sorry :ashamed: It's Dr. Mac from now on Sir.

YOU CALL HIM DOCTOR MAC, DOLL!!!!
http://www.dvdjournal.com/reviewimgs/a/adventuresindianajones_imgs/Indy2.shortround.JPG

Llamafighter
08-13-2009, 07:04 PM
Ahhhh , the coveted High 5 is a tricky subject. It is a simple enough jester , yet very difficult to pull off and not look like a frat house douche bag. There are several ways to "neck it up" if you like . Here is an example.

Take a Cigarrete "LIT" , place it between your middle finger and your index finger. Have the but leading out the backside of your hand and the lit cherry on the palm side of your hand approx a half inch from your palm . When the High 5 is performed. Grasp the High fivees hand and say , "first one that hollers is a pu#$y" . A small 2nd degree burn will "neck up" any occasion , especially a high five. Plus if he hollers you get to call him names .


THis also works if you spit your redman into the palm of your hand before said high 5 is perfomed. It is funny for everyone except the high fivee. And let me tell you , there is nothin girly about a 300 pound man in bib overalls pissed off and ready to thump you all the while cleaning chew spit from his ears and eyes.

Hope this lends some help .

Thanks Dr. Mac!

Chuck
08-13-2009, 09:47 PM
YOU CALL HIM DOCTOR MAC, DOLL!!!!
http://www.dvdjournal.com/reviewimgs/a/adventuresindianajones_imgs/Indy2.shortround.JPG
You are a comic genius....

Brilliant post!!!:laugh: :laugh:

MattHughesRocks
08-13-2009, 10:41 PM
It's only funny if you know who the heck he's supposed to be :Whistle:

You are a comic genius....

Brilliant post!!!:laugh: :laugh: