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Play The Man
08-07-2009, 10:11 PM
http://kimriddlebarger.squarespace.com/the-latest-post/2009/8/6/not-gonna-happen.html

Here's the latest trend making its way into church growth circles. According to the "Cuddle Party" website,

"a Cuddle Party Is: A structured, safe workshop on boundaries, communication, intimacy and affection. A drug and alcohol-free way to meet fascinating people in a relaxing environment. A laboratory where you can experiment with what makes you feel safe and feel good. This playful, fun workshop has been a place for people to rediscover non-sexual touch and affection, a space to reframe assumptions about men and women, and a great networking event to meet new friends, roommates, business partners and significant others" (http://www.cuddleparty.com/).

Will Reformed or Presbyterian churches be tempted to try this? Somehow, I can't see this having any attraction for German or Dutch churches. Someone would break wind almost immediately and ruin the whole mood before the "cuddle party" even got going. The Young Reformed won't go for this either--too weird, too lame. Not enough good order (and certainly not enough decency) for Presbyterians. Besides, the whole thing is just plain creepy . . .

According to the cuddleparty.com websitehttp://www.cuddleparty.com/rules.cfm, these are the rules to a cuddle party:

WHAT TO WEAR: Pajamas - nothing too risqué. Think more comfy than sexy. (More drawstrings, less lace! No shorts.)

WHAT TO BRING: A pillow or stuffed animal if you like. Juice or sparkling cider is always welcome. Sorry, no liquor folks. Otherwise, just bring your smiling self.

STICK TO THE RULES:

1. Pajamas stay on the whole time.
2. You don't have to cuddle anyone at a Cuddle Party, ever.
3. You must ask permission and receive a verbal YES before you touch anyone. (Be as specific in your request as you can.)
4. If you're a yes, say YES. If you're a no, say NO.
5. If you're a maybe, say NO.
6. You are encouraged to change your mind anytime you want.
7. Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner.
8. Get your Cuddle Lifeguard On Duty or Cuddle Caddy if you have a question or concern or need assistance with anything during the Cuddle Party.
9. Tears and laughter are both welcome.
10. Respect people's privacy when sharing about Cuddle Parties and do not gossip.
11. Arrive on time.
12. Be hygienically savvy.


They have an article on the website entitled "Confessions of a Christian Cuddler". It is too long to quote extensively but here is a bit of it:http://www.cuddleparty.com/articles/christian.cfm

From a Christian perspective, touch is not the problem, but is actually part of the solution; the question is, what kind of touch? Well, the kind of touch that happens at Cuddle Parties is not only acceptable in the Bible, it's downright encouraged. The Apostle Paul often closes his letters by inviting members of church congregations to "greet one another with a holy kiss" (Romans: 16:16, 1st Corinthians: 16: 20). In the King James version of John's Gospel, the thirteenth chapter, the apostle John is described as reclining on Jesus's breast or bosom (John: 13:23,25). In the preceding chapter, we are treated to the touching story of Mary, the sister of Lazarus, breaking open a bottle of expensive perfume and anointing the feet of her Lord. While not overtly sexual, it was most definitely affectionate; and yes, even sensual. Essentially, she was massaging his feet and drying them with her hair

While concerns should always be aired, it's too bad that so many well-meaning Christians would object to an event with no sex, no alcohol, and lots of wholesome human interaction. After all, Cuddle Parties could very easily be Christianized for youth groups, Christian singles events, and other gatherings. One cause for concern seemed to be that sexual passions would be stirred up and that people wouldn't be able to control themselves. Well, as co-founder Reid Mihalko likes to say, "We're more self-controlled than we think we are." It's interesting he would say that, since Scripture lists self-control as one of the "fruits of the Spirit" (Galatians: 5:22-23). As Christians, we believe the Holy Spirit comes to live inside a person's heart after they place their trust in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. The Spirit then begins to produce fruit, a byproduct of genuine conversion and a changed heart. Self-control is one of those fruits, but where do we get a chance to practice it? Cuddle Party, with its clear rules and firm boundaries, gives us a safe space to do just that.

Cuddle Party also teaches and models clear, direct communication, something the Bible also invites us to practice. In fact, rule number five, "If you're a yes, say yes; if you're a no, say no," is remarkably similar to Jesus's injunction in the Sermon on the Mount, "Let your yes be yes, and your no be no," (Matthew: 5:37), in which Jesus urges us to state our intentions clearly and directly. Who can argue with that?

I agree with the assessment that "the whole thing is just plain creepy".

Crisco
08-07-2009, 10:15 PM
Yea a little too weird...

Chuck
08-07-2009, 10:36 PM
Perfect for youth groups??????????? :scared0015:

HUH?

Play The Man
08-07-2009, 11:03 PM
It almost seems like the practice of "bundling" (except on a group level) that took hold in New England as the Puritan influence was dying.

Chuck
08-08-2009, 12:06 AM
It almost seems like the practice of "bundling" (except on a group level) that took hold in New England as the Puritan influence was dying.

Maybe I have a different understanding of "bundling" but I think a cuddle party would be the exact opposite... :unsure-1:

Play The Man
08-08-2009, 12:27 AM
Maybe I have a different understanding of "bundling" but I think a cuddle party would be the exact opposite... :unsure-1:

"Bundling" was the practice of allowing a young couple who were courting to spend the night together in bed, with clothes on (and sometimes with a divider). It supposedly allowed intimacy without sex; however, I would bet that there were a number of "bundling" babies. "Cuddling parties" allow close contact with clothes on in a group setting (with strangers or friends). I think both practices severely underestimate the male sex drive. I would bet that the attractive girls are the ones being cuddled and I would bet that the guys (and probably the girls) are thinking the entire time about how to escalate things further along. The practices definitely aren't the same thing, but they are similar in the sense that they are trying to avoid sexual contact yet have intimate (emotionally) body contact. If you need to hug something, get a pet (or a spouse).

Chuck
08-08-2009, 01:58 AM
"Bundling" was the practice of allowing a young couple who was courting to spend the night together in bed, with clothes on (and sometimes with a divider). It supposedly allowed intimacy without sex; however, I would bet that there were a number of "bundling" babies. "Cuddling parties" allow close contact with clothes on in a group setting (with strangers or friends). I think both practices severely underestimate the male sex drive. I would bet that the attractive girls are the ones being cuddled and I would bet that the guys (and probably the girls) are thinking the entire time about how to escalate things further along. The practices definitely aren't the same thing, but they are similar in the sense that they are trying to avoid sexual contact yet have intimate (emotionally) body contact. If you need to hug something, get a pet (or a spouse).

It's my understanding that with bundling the man was stitched into a burlap bag to prohibit any contact. The man sewn into a bag, the woman outside of the bag....

Vizion
08-08-2009, 02:00 AM
it's a good thing JESUS hung on the cross for our sins. We surely don't oh, I dunno, OWE him or anything for that...

let's have a cuddle party!!:angry:

MattHughesRocks
08-08-2009, 03:15 AM
I've been hearing of cuddle parties for a few years at least but I've never heard of a Christian cuddle party.

Play The Man
08-08-2009, 03:43 AM
It's my understanding that with bundling the man was stitched into a burlap bag to prohibit any contact. The man sewn into a bag, the woman outside of the bag....

Yes, that is one type of it. I think they showed that in Mel Gibson's "The Patriot" movie, if I remember correctly. There were also "bundling" boards to try to separate the couple. I quick searched the internet for a defintion: a onetime custom during courtship of unmarried couples occupying the same bed without undressingThe "bundling" bag technique was a subtype of the general practice of "bundling".

Neezar
08-08-2009, 04:27 AM
I've been hearing of cuddle parties for a few years at least but I've never heard of a Christian cuddle party.


:laugh:

Mac
08-08-2009, 04:27 AM
Sounds like a dry hump orgy .

Play The Man
08-08-2009, 04:36 AM
Sounds like a dry hump orgy .

:laugh:

Boomer
08-08-2009, 07:33 AM
Oh geezz .. our nation is at a critical cross roads in every aspect imaginable and the church is having "cuddle parties".

In Bible college with counseling being my major, I was doing some study on the power of touch and came across some research on a group of 100 teens that had been diagnosed with acute depression. These teens were selected because of common treads of little self confidence, needing constant reassurance, and in general feeling worthless about their self and life. These were teens in family counseling at a Christian center and were also selected because they came from families that didn't like to "touch". the parents were instructed to give the teen a hug each day and long story short, without any medication, or further mental examination most of them dropped the acute depression label, started doing better in school, girls often dropped the bad boy boy friend, oddly enough many of the teens were extremely selfish and that characteristic also seemed to lesson over the six month time frame and so on. The research then got into medical jargon about what touch does to the body and the chemicals your brain releases and its an actual need. It went on to explain that that need is often an enabler for people to stay in bad or abusive relationships. The days and nights of pain in their mind does not out weight the sense or worth they get that one or two days of affection they receive. I think its been one of satan’s greatest victories over attacking the family (the foundation of any society) that putting the term "touch" or hug in with any man and the mind instantly goes to label that man with some type of perversion .. said out loud or not.

I'm not shy to give a hug or place a hand on a shoulder with people I know when its just a matter of living life. But "parties" with the intent on forming relationships through "touch" is very dangerous to me and honestly I think that this is another thing the church will get egg on their face for and give those who wish to make American a non-Christian state more ammunition to prove the church cannot be trusted.

Play The Man
08-08-2009, 09:30 AM
I'm sorry but I couldn't resist:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON1b6zY_vOg

rearnakedchoke
08-08-2009, 02:02 PM
this sounds so weird .... i am having one this weekend ...

cubsfan47
08-08-2009, 02:09 PM
Oh geezz .. our nation is at a critical cross roads in every aspect imaginable and the church is having "cuddle parties".

In Bible college with counseling being my major, I was doing some study on the power of touch and came across some research on a group of 100 teens that had been diagnosed with acute depression. These teens were selected because of common treads of little self confidence, needing constant reassurance, and in general feeling worthless about their self and life. These were teens in family counseling at a Christian center and were also selected because they came from families that didn't like to "touch". the parents were instructed to give the teen a hug each day and long story short, without any medication, or further mental examination most of them dropped the acute depression label, started doing better in school, girls often dropped the bad boy boy friend, oddly enough many of the teens were extremely selfish and that characteristic also seemed to lesson over the six month time frame and so on. The research then got into medical jargon about what touch does to the body and the chemicals your brain releases and its an actual need. It went on to explain that that need is often an enabler for people to stay in bad or abusive relationships. The days and nights of pain in their mind does not out weight the sense or worth they get that one or two days of affection they receive. I think its been one of satan’s greatest victories over attacking the family (the foundation of any society) that putting the term "touch" or hug in with any man and the mind instantly goes to label that man with some type of perversion .. said out loud or not.

I'm not shy to give a hug or place a hand on a shoulder with people I know when its just a matter of living life. But "parties" with the intent on forming relationships through "touch" is very dangerous to me and honestly I think that this is another thing the church will get egg on their face for and give those who wish to make American a non-Christian state more ammunition to prove the church cannot be trusted.

Amen. Agree with all of this. For the bolded part, as one who has been in higher education for 30+ years the "no touch" rule is unspoken but there. Yet I cannot count the times when I felt like "a pat on the back" would have made all the difference to a student. You just don't do it.

Tyburn
08-10-2009, 12:00 AM
Due to Swine flu...no church will allow anything like that now.

The Roman Catholics and the Church of England have banned the use of the communion cup...and they are considering other methods of sharing the peace that do not involve the risk of passing on infection by physical contact.

I kid you not :unsure:

Play The Man
08-10-2009, 12:03 AM
Due to Swine flu...no church will allow anything like that now.

The Roman Catholics and the Church of England have banned the use of the communion cup...and they are considering other methods of sharing the peace that do not involve the risk of passing on infection by physical contact.

I kid you not :unsure:

Small plastic cups.

Tyburn
08-10-2009, 12:24 AM
Small plastic cups.
Against Cannonical Law for Roman Catholics and Church of England...I know...we didnt realize that either til recently :mellow:

Play The Man
08-10-2009, 02:18 AM
Against Cannonical Law for Roman Catholics and Church of England...I know...we didnt realize that either til recently :mellow:

Why? Does the wine have to be drank from the same cup?

Tyburn
08-10-2009, 02:27 AM
Apparently so. I have no idea why.

Play The Man
08-10-2009, 02:51 AM
Apparently so. I have no idea why.

Perhaps to show the communion of the Saints and foster a spirit of community and fellowship? I am used to "low" Church communion - tiny plastic cups filled with grape juice in a metal offering plate, which has a cover with cup-size holes in it, passed around the pews.

Tyburn
08-10-2009, 03:15 AM
Perhaps to show the communion of the Saints and foster a spirit of community and fellowship? I am used to "low" Church communion - tiny plastic cups filled with grape juice in a metal offering plate, which has a cover with cup-size holes in it, passed around the pews.
it will be something like that I'm sure.

Yes plenty of other Denominations do the wine through little thimbles, no problem at all. I dont personally have an issue with it.

But then the church is getting stupid about this swine flu thing...Honnest to GOD they are trying to stop people sharing the peace because they are frightened of infectious disease...I mean...puhleze! when healthy people in mid life die in their thousands....but until then...its a foolish precaution that I will take absolutly no notice of whatsoever.

So...for the time being the Priest alone drinks the wine...and yet get the double standard her...The priest can still pass the wafer to the communicants?! So touching each other at the peace is a no go...but touching each other during the distribution of the host is fine?! Drinking wine from a cup is banned...yet drinking from individual cups is against Canon Law?!

WTF...hasnt the Anglican Communion got larger problems to deal with? I'll have you know they didnt even take these foolish measures during the black death!! (well not until half way through anyway) :laugh:

Play The Man
08-10-2009, 03:21 AM
it will be something like that I'm sure.

Yes plenty of other Denominations do the wine through little thimbles, no problem at all. I dont personally have an issue with it.

But then the church is getting stupid about this swine flu thing...Honnest to GOD they are trying to stop people sharing the peace because they are frightened of infectious disease...I mean...puhleze! when healthy people in mid life die in their thousands....but until then...its a foolish precaution that I will take absolutly no notice of whatsoever.

So...for the time being the Priest alone drinks the wine...and yet get the double standard her...The priest can still pass the wafer to the communicants?! So touching each other at the peace is a no go...but touching each other during the distribution of the host is fine?! Drinking wine from a cup is banned...yet drinking from individual cups is against Canon Law?!

WTF...hasnt the Anglican Communion got larger problems to deal with? I'll have you know they didnt even take these foolish measures during the black death!! (well not until half way through anyway) :laugh:

Bring a tiny bottle of alcohol-based hand sanitizer and sanitize your hands after the handshaking.

It is good to take precautions. Influenza is spread by aerosolized droplets so if the person next to you sneezes and doesn't cover their face, you will get the "flu" whether you took communion or not.

cubsfan47
08-10-2009, 02:06 PM
Bring a tiny bottle of alcohol-based hand sanitizer and sanitize your hands after the handshaking.

It is good to take precautions. Influenza is spread by aerosolized droplets so if the person next to you sneezes and doesn't cover their face, you will get the "flu" whether you took communion or not.

Been doing just that for years; except the hand sanitizer is available in packets. Basically started this because cold viruses are (supposedly) spread by hand contact.

So flu is spread by droplets? Well then the panicked buying of hand sanitizer and restricting the communion cup makes no sense.:rolleyes:

Play The Man
08-10-2009, 05:56 PM
[/B]

Been doing just that for years; except the hand sanitizer is available in packets. Basically started this because cold viruses are (supposedly) spread by hand contact.

So flu is spread by droplets? Well then the panicked buying of hand sanitizer and restricting the communion cup makes no sense.:rolleyes:

Yes, the sick person should just stay home. If the sick person leaves the house they should have a mask. The mask is to prevent the aerosolization of respiratory droplets during a sneeze or cough.

Mike1983
08-12-2009, 12:42 AM
I love Kim Riddlebarger!

I agree with his assessment that this is way creepy. Not only that, but you are flirting with temptation in this type of situation. I'm all for Christians engaging the culture and building bridges to people from all walks of life instead of running away from things like secular music, television, books, and so on...but there comes a point when you cross the line and you are no longer able to tell the difference between the church and the sinful world system.

We should engage things like music, movies, and books and retain what is truthful in them and reject what is sinful and use those things that are truthful to connect with unbelievers, but dang...i don't see anything good about this idea here lol....scary!