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View Full Version : Forrest Griffin wants to know: "Are you a man?"


VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 01:53 AM
This is an excerpt from the intro to Forrest's book & it's hysterical. Anyone who subscribes to FIGHT! Magazine has already read this, but I felt like sharing here, too.

You must take this test before reading my book.

All the really cool roller coasters of the world require you to be a certain height to experience their awesomeness. In no way is my book as cool as a roller coaster, but nevertheless, I have implemented a restriction for those of you who are attempting to read it. I don't give a crap about how tall you are or how much you weigh. I don't even care if you're into really weird crap like burning your nipples and stuff. All I care about is your manliness. I mean, how would it make me look if a bunch of sissies were reading my book in-between their pillow fights? Not too good, that's how. So before I fill that empty brain of yours with all sorts of smart things, I'm going to give you a test, much like the tests Cosmo gives to women. And shut the frack up about how I know such tests exist. It's called research, dumbarse. So anyway, instead of testing whether or not your lover is worthy, I'm going to test your testosterone levels. If you're a woman, I don't want to hear your sniveling. There are a lot of women out there who are manly, so you best sprout a hairy sac in a hurry. This book is about guy crap.

Now, if you score forty points or above on the test, feel free to walk tall, brother. You are indeed a real man, and I have no problem with you absorbing the knowledge on the coming pages. If you score between thirty & forty points, you've got some chest hair to grow. I'll still let you read my book, but it must be done in the privacy of your own home. If someone asks you if you read my book, you must say, "No, I tried, but it is far too manly for me to comprehend." If you score below twenty points, put my book down immediately & back away from it slowly. As a matter of fact, you might as well slip into a pair of panties, slap on some lipstick, & learn how to become a really bad driver, because there is no hope for you ever becoming a man. No one is watching you take this test, sister, so you won't be doing anyone any favors by cheating. Just so you know, chicks cheat on these kinds of tets all the time. When asked if their man's love-stick is large enough, they always check "no". Lying witches. The reason I bring this up is that a real man never follows in the footsteps of a woman, so if you cheat, you are not only unmanly, you are also going to Hell. Seriously.

1) You wake up one morning to find a really fat chick lying next to you in bed. How do you react?
a) You somehow convince the Wooly-Mammoth to squeeze out your bedroom window so no one sees her leave, remove the wiry hair from between your teeth, & never tell a living soul about what you have done.
b) Have her leave through the front door, but make up a bunch of excuses about how you were too drunk to get it up when your buddies start busting your balls.
c) Take her out for breakfast & nod "what's up" to your friends when they give you funny looks. You don't go so far as to lick the syrup off her lips at the end of the meal, but you smile & treat her with respect.
d) Thank her for taking your V-Card & nervously ask her for her phone number.
e) Do not wake her up. Just leave your home & never come back.
2) Which do you shave more, your face or your genitals?
a) Face.
b) Genitals.
c) Never shave either
d) Shave both equally & at the same time.
1) Face & then balls.
2) Balls & then face.
3) How much does your favorite pair of jeans cost?
a) $200 or more.
b) Between $100 & $200.
c) Between $50 & $100.
d) Under $50.
4) Your friends take you out to an all-you-can-eat buffet for your thirteenth birthday, and then surprise you afterwards by taking you to Dollywood for a little bungee jumping. You're just a kid, so don't see how bungee jumping after an all-you-can-eat buffet can go terribly wrong. You think you might throw up, but instead you crap yourself. Remember, you're just a kid. How do you handle the situation. Seriously, I want to know.
a) Jump in the nearest public pool.
b) Pretend nothing has happened & go about your day.
c) Go to the public rest room, remove your crap soaked boxers, & throw them in the trash can. Next, remove your socks, dampen them in the sink, and then clean up everything your boxers didn't catch. Once you're done, dispose of your socks. When you get home & your mother asks what happened to your socks, tell that nosey witch to mind her own business. Afterwards, go upstairs & cry yourself to sleep.
5) You go on a first date with a respectable, attractrive woman. How do you handle it?
a) You pay for everything, open doors, and kiss her goodnight instead of trying to get into her pants.
b) You tell her that she can order the most expensive thing on the menu and that you're picking up the check.
1) The most expensive thing on the menu is a $60 steak.
2) The most expensive thing on the menu is a Big Mac.
c) You focus on how broke you are during the dinner conversation & talk her into paying the bill.
d) The moment yuo pick her up, you ask for gas money.
6) You just got KTFOed. Joe Rogan comes over & asks you what happened. What do you say?
a) You immediately begin making excuses. Tell everyone how your hand was hurt going in, your wife left you, you got the flu. Just rattle off every bull-hockey reason you can think of.
b) You don't say anything because you are too busy crying.
c) You say, "Everything was going good, and then I just got KTFOed."
7) In a raffle you recently won a gigantic douche-mobile, such as a Range Rover, Hummer, or some kind of lifted truck. What do you do with it?
a) Go off-roading without worrying abuot scratching the paint or acquiring a few dents.
b) Donate the piece of crap to charity.
c) Trick it out by purchasing fancy rims that turns it into an on-road vehicle only.
d) Use it to haul tools & lumber back & forth to work.
OK, so let's see how manly the MHF is. Simply respond with your answers, 1-7. If you pick d) for #2 or b) for #5, then you must also include which of the two options you would follow (e.g. d)2 & b)1). I will then post your score & PM you what Forrest has to say about your responses.

MattHughesRocks
06-27-2009, 02:19 AM
I just got my book in the mail today now I'm wondering.....do I really want to read it? Thanks Ben.:sad:

VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 02:24 AM
I just got my book in the mail today now I'm wondering.....do I really want to read it? Thanks Ben.:sad:Hahaha, you want to read it & you know it! Trust me, it's awesome.

Now take the test!!!!:frantics:

matthughesfan21
06-27-2009, 02:29 AM
a,a,d,c,a,c,a

MattHughesRocks
06-27-2009, 02:43 AM
Not gonna happen :laugh:

Hahaha, you want to read it & you know it! Trust me, it's awesome.

Now take the test!!!!:frantics:

Hughes_GOAT
06-27-2009, 04:01 AM
Not gonna happen :laugh:
it will after some wine

VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 06:01 AM
it will after some wineThat's what she said!!!:frantics:

VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 06:05 AM
1 (Fat chick in bed) - a
2 (Shaving) - a
3 (Jeans) - d
4 (Bungee birthday) - c
5 (First date) - a
6 (KTFOed) - c
7 (Hummer) - aDerek, you scored a 35 on Forrest's manliness scale. According to him, you may read the book, but only in secret.

VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 06:06 AM
I figured I should probably post my own results:

1 (Fat chick in bed) - c
2 (Shaving) - a
3 (Jeans) - d
4 (Bungee birthday) - c
5 (First date) - a
6 (KTFOed) - c
7 (Hummer) - d

This netted me 45 points, placing me solidly in the "Man" category.

cubsfan47
06-27-2009, 01:00 PM
That's what she said!!!:frantics:


It's going to be 103 here this afternoon. I think I'll read my copy accompanied by some cooling beverages.:laugh:

County Mike
06-27-2009, 02:26 PM
1) You wake up one morning to find a really fat chick lying next to you in bed. How do you react?
c) Take her out for breakfast & nod "what's up" to your friends when they give you funny looks. You don't go so far as to lick the syrup off her lips at the end of the meal, but you smile & treat her with respect.

2) Which do you shave more, your face or your genitals?
a) Face.

3) How much does your favorite pair of jeans cost?
d) Under $50.

4) Your friends take you out to an all-you-can-eat buffet for your thirteenth birthday, and then surprise you afterwards by taking you to Dollywood for a little bungee jumping. You're just a kid, so don't see how bungee jumping after an all-you-can-eat buffet can go terribly wrong. You think you might throw up, but instead you crap yourself. Remember, you're just a kid. How do you handle the situation. Seriously, I want to know.
a) Jump in the nearest public pool.

5) You go on a first date with a respectable, attractrive woman. How do you handle it?
a) You pay for everything, open doors, and kiss her goodnight instead of trying to get into her pants.
- actually, I pay for everything and THEN I try to get into her pants.

6) You just got KTFOed. Joe Rogan comes over & asks you what happened. What do you say?
c) You say, "Everything was going good, and then I just got KTFOed."

7) In a raffle you recently won a gigantic douche-mobile, such as a Range Rover, Hummer, or some kind of lifted truck. What do you do with it?
d) Use it to haul tools & lumber back & forth to work.

NOTE: I answered without looking at anyone else's replies first. Don't be stealing my manly answers now.

VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 02:57 PM
1) You wake up one morning to find a really fat chick lying next to you in bed. How do you react?
c) Take her out for breakfast & nod "what's up" to your friends when they give you funny looks. You don't go so far as to lick the syrup off her lips at the end of the meal, but you smile & treat her with respect.

2) Which do you shave more, your face or your genitals?
a) Face.

3) How much does your favorite pair of jeans cost?
d) Under $50.

4) Your friends take you out to an all-you-can-eat buffet for your thirteenth birthday, and then surprise you afterwards by taking you to Dollywood for a little bungee jumping. You're just a kid, so don't see how bungee jumping after an all-you-can-eat buffet can go terribly wrong. You think you might throw up, but instead you crap yourself. Remember, you're just a kid. How do you handle the situation. Seriously, I want to know.
a) Jump in the nearest public pool.

5) You go on a first date with a respectable, attractrive woman. How do you handle it?
a) You pay for everything, open doors, and kiss her goodnight instead of trying to get into her pants.
- actually, I pay for everything and THEN I try to get into her pants.

6) You just got KTFOed. Joe Rogan comes over & asks you what happened. What do you say?
c) You say, "Everything was going good, and then I just got KTFOed."

7) In a raffle you recently won a gigantic douche-mobile, such as a Range Rover, Hummer, or some kind of lifted truck. What do you do with it?
d) Use it to haul tools & lumber back & forth to work.

NOTE: I answered without looking at anyone else's replies first. Don't be stealing my manly answers now.Congratulations, Mike, you've scored 40 points! You just made the cut, so Forrest is proud to call you a fellow man.

Primadawn
06-27-2009, 03:14 PM
I'm a chick, but I think like a man. I would totally get a man score on this.:laugh:

VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 03:16 PM
I'm a chick, but I think like a man. I would totally get a man score on this.:laugh:Well then, in the immortal words of Forrest: "you best sprout a hairy sac in a hurry. This book is about guy crap." :laugh:

I can't wait to see how you score, Dawn!

Primadawn
06-27-2009, 04:18 PM
OK, here you go.

1. A
2. B--but I'm not a guy--I don't shave my face. If I was a guy, it would be A
3. B
4. A
5. A + CountyMike's addition
6. C
7. A

VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 04:52 PM
OK, here you go.

1. A
2. B--but I'm not a guy--I don't shave my face. If I was a guy, it would be A
3. B
4. A
5. A + CountyMike's addition
6. C
7. AOK, Dawn, well you've scored a 5. I would mock you, but you're a chick anyway, so never mind. :laugh:

VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 05:30 PM
OK, Dawn, well you've scored a 5. I would mock you, but you're a chick anyway, so never mind. :laugh:C'mon, guys, don't be shy. You know tht you're all wondering if Forrest Griffin will accept you as a man or not!:laugh:

We currently have 2 men, 1 secret reader & a chick. The MHF needs to represent better than that!!!

County Mike
06-27-2009, 05:31 PM
I actually got 45 points. +5 for jumping into a pool that was in the immediate area. I would have scored 55 points but lost 10 for trying to score on the first date.

On the crap your pants one, what I would actually do is clean myself up and throw away the undergarments. I just wouldn't cry myself to sleep after so I didn't pick that one.

VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 05:45 PM
I actually got 45 points. +5 for jumping into a pool that was in the immediate area. I would have scored 55 points but lost 10 for trying to score on the first date.No, just 40. It's either +5 for close pool or -5 for a far away pool, not a bonus five for going close.

On the crap your pants one, what I would actually do is clean myself up and throw away the undergarments. I just wouldn't cry myself to sleep after so I didn't pick that one.Yeah, me too. I saw it as being resourceful. The crying part, though, wouldn't have been me. I prolly would have been pissed & broken crap, but not cried.

Black Mamba
06-27-2009, 07:05 PM
If I was a man, here's my answers:

C, A, D, B*, A, C, A

* I had the stomach flu really bad when I was little and I ended up crapping my pants. Since I didn't have a change of clothes I wore them all day (including the time my class and I played leap frog).

VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 07:08 PM
If I was a man, here's my answers:

C, A, D, B*, A, C, A

* I had the stomach flu really bad when I was little and I ended up crapping my pants. Since I didn't have a change of clothes I wore them all day (including the time my class and I played leap frog).Danelle, I am proud to say that you have scored a 45, tieing myself for most manly forum member so far! :laugh:

Black Mamba
06-27-2009, 07:17 PM
Danelle, I am proud to say that you have scored a 45, tieing myself for most manly forum member so far! :laugh:

Oh my gosh. :ashamed: :laugh: My Momma always said that her daughter should have been born a dude.

I gotta get Forrest's book now. After I'm done with my summer class, I'm going to tear into it.

VCURamFan
06-27-2009, 07:44 PM
Oh my gosh. :ashamed: :laugh: My Momma always said that her daughter should have been born a dude.

I gotta get Forrest's book now. After I'm done with my summer class, I'm going to tear into it.Haha, you can go rub it in Dawn's face that you're manlier than her!:laugh:

Primadawn
06-27-2009, 08:48 PM
Haha, you can go rub it in Dawn's face that you're manlier than her!:laugh:


Whatever. I'm manly in all the ways that count! :unsure-1: er...uh...:unsure-1:

VCURamFan
06-28-2009, 04:29 AM
Whatever. I'm manly in all the ways that count! :unsure-1: er...uh...:unsure-1:Hey-oooo!! :laugh:

Tyburn
06-28-2009, 04:42 PM
E :laugh: A :ninja: D :sad: C :happydancing: B2 :unsure-1: C :) B:rolleyes:

VCURamFan
06-28-2009, 05:32 PM
E :laugh: A :ninja: D :sad: C :happydancing: B2 :unsure-1: C :) B:rolleyes:Dave, you have scored 10 points. Though not quite as bad as Dawn, you are the least manly MHF member with a Y-chromosome so far. :laugh:

Tyburn
06-28-2009, 06:28 PM
Dave, you have scored 10 points. Though not quite as bad as Dawn, you are the least manly MHF member with a Y-chromosome so far. :laugh:
What were you expecting :mellow:

:laugh:

Course...I dont understand why I didnt score 25 :ninja: :huh:

VCURamFan
06-28-2009, 07:02 PM
What were you expecting :mellow:

:laugh:

Course...I dont understand why I didnt score 25 :ninja: :huh:That was my bad. I had mis-added the numbers. You should have gotten a PM by now with the individual scores...

Tyburn
06-28-2009, 07:03 PM
That was my bad. I had mis-added the numbers. You should have gotten a PM by now with the individual scores...
:laugh:

Nope...I just looked at the transcript that said 25 on the email reminders :tongue0011:

VCURamFan
06-28-2009, 07:06 PM
:laugh:

Nope...I just looked at the transcript that said 25 on the email reminders :tongue0011:Right. I first went through & added the numbers & got 25. It wasn't until I was writing your PM that I discovered I had accidentally credited you with 15pnts you hadn't earned, so I came back & edited my post to show your correct score after I sent you the PM.

Tyburn
06-28-2009, 09:18 PM
Right. I first went through & added the numbers & got 25. It wasn't until I was writing your PM that I discovered I had accidentally credited you with 15pnts you hadn't earned, so I came back & edited my post to show your correct score after I sent you the PM.
oh...I thought you'd made a mistake and that is should be 25 rather then 10 :unsure-1:

Well...If I get his book, I'll read it whether I'm manly enough or not...I dont know how someone who can cry like he did after getting finished that time, could possibly complain about effeminates reading his autobiography :Whistle:

TexasRN
06-29-2009, 12:14 AM
1) You wake up one morning to find a really fat chick lying next to you in bed. How do you react?
a) You somehow convince the Wooly-Mammoth to squeeze out your bedroom window so no one sees her leave, remove the wiry hair from between your teeth, & never tell a living soul about what you have done.
b) Have her leave through the front door, but make up a bunch of excuses about how you were too drunk to get it up when your buddies start busting your balls.
c) Take her out for breakfast & nod "what's up" to your friends when they give you funny looks. You don't go so far as to lick the syrup off her lips at the end of the meal, but you smile & treat her with respect.
d) Thank her for taking your V-Card & nervously ask her for her phone number.
e) Do not wake her up. Just leave your home & never come back.
2) Which do you shave more, your face or your genitals?

a) Face.
b) Genitals.
c) Never shave either
d) Shave both equally & at the same time.
1) Face & then balls.
2) Balls & then face.

3) How much does your favorite pair of jeans cost?

a) $200 or more.
b) Between $100 & $200.
c) Between $50 & $100.
d) Under $50.
4) Your friends take you out to an all-you-can-eat buffet for your thirteenth birthday, and then surprise you afterwards by taking you to Dollywood for a little bungee jumping. You're just a kid, so don't see how bungee jumping after an all-you-can-eat buffet can go terribly wrong. You think you might throw up, but instead you crap yourself. Remember, you're just a kid. How do you handle the situation. Seriously, I want to know.

a) Jump in the nearest public pool.
b) Pretend nothing has happened & go about your day.
c) Go to the public rest room, remove your crap soaked boxers, & throw them in the trash can. Next, remove your socks, dampen them in the sink, and then clean up everything your boxers didn't catch. Once you're done, dispose of your socks. When you get home & your mother asks what happened to your socks, tell that nosey witch to mind her own business. Afterwards, go upstairs & cry yourself to sleep.
5) You go on a first date with a respectable, attractrive woman. How do you handle it?

a) You pay for everything, open doors, and kiss her goodnight instead of trying to get into her pants.
b) You tell her that she can order the most expensive thing on the menu and that you're picking up the check.
1) The most expensive thing on the menu is a $60 steak.
2) The most expensive thing on the menu is a Big Mac.
c) You focus on how broke you are during the dinner conversation & talk her into paying the bill.
d) The moment yuo pick her up, you ask for gas money.
6) You just got KTFOed. Joe Rogan comes over & asks you what happened. What do you say?

a) You immediately begin making excuses. Tell everyone how your hand was hurt going in, your wife left you, you got the flu. Just rattle off every bull-hockey reason you can think of.
b) You don't say anything because you are too busy crying.
c) You say, "Everything was going good, and then I just got KTFOed."
7) In a raffle you recently won a gigantic douche-mobile, such as a Range Rover, Hummer, or some kind of lifted truck. What do you do with it?

a) Go off-roading without worrying abuot scratching the paint or acquiring a few dents
b) Donate the piece of crap to charity.
c) Trick it out by purchasing fancy rims that turns it into an on-road vehicle only.
d) Use it to haul tools & lumber back & forth to work.
My answers in bold. I am definitely a girl but these are my "man" answers. :laugh:


~Amy

Chuck
06-29-2009, 03:03 AM
1) You wake up one morning to find a really fat chick lying next to you in bed. How do you react?
◦e) Do not wake her up. Just leave your home & never come back.

2) Which do you shave more, your face or your genitals?
◦c) Never shave either

3) How much does your favorite pair of jeans cost?
◦d) Under $50.

4) Your friends take you out to an all-you-can-eat buffet for your thirteenth birthday, and then surprise you afterwards by taking you to Dollywood for a little bungee jumping. You're just a kid, so don't see how bungee jumping after an all-you-can-eat buffet can go terribly wrong. You think you might throw up, but instead you crap yourself. Remember, you're just a kid. How do you handle the situation. Seriously, I want to know.
c) Go to the public rest room, remove your crap soaked boxers, & throw them in the trash can. Next, remove your socks, dampen them in the sink, and then clean up everything your boxers didn't catch. Once you're done, dispose of your socks. When you get home & your mother asks what happened to your socks, tell that nosey witch to mind her own business. Afterwards, go upstairs & cry yourself to sleep.

5) You go on a first date with a respectable, attractrive woman. How do you handle it?
◦a) You pay for everything, open doors, and kiss her goodnight instead of trying to get into her pants.

6) You just got KTFOed. Joe Rogan comes over & asks you what happened. What do you say?
◦c) You say, "Everything was going good, and then I just got KTFOed."

7) In a raffle you recently won a gigantic douche-mobile, such as a Range Rover, Hummer, or some kind of lifted truck. What do you do with it?
◦a) Go off-roading without worrying abuot scratching the paint or acquiring a few dents.

Jason 16
06-29-2009, 03:22 AM
E :laugh: A :ninja: D :sad: C :happydancing: B2 :unsure-1: C :) B:rolleyes:

E??? is that for draging her to the beach throwing water on her and roll her back into the ocean
or
let her walk out the front door and tell any one giveing you a odd look that your an enviromentalist and just trying to save a whale

VCURamFan
06-29-2009, 04:40 PM
1)Fat chick
c) Take her out for breakfast & nod "what's up" to your friends when they give you funny looks. You don't go so far as to lick the syrup off her lips at the end of the meal, but you smile & treat her with respect.
2) Shaving
a) Face.
3) Jeans
d) Under $50.
4) Bungee birthday
a) Jump in the nearest public pool.
5) First date
a) You pay for everything, open doors, and kiss her goodnight instead of trying to get into her pants.
6) KTFOed.
c) You say, "Everything was going good, and then I just got KTFOed."
7) Hummer
a) Go off-roading without worrying abuot scratching the paint or acquiring a few dents My answers in bold. I am definitely a girl but these are my "man" answers. :laugh:


~Amy Amy - You've scored a 45, meaning that you join Danelle & I leading the MHF forum pack as the most manly members to date.

•1) Fat chick
◦e) Do not wake her up. Just leave your home & never come back.

•2) Shave
◦c) Never shave either

•3) Jeans
◦d) Under $50.

•4) Bungee birthday
c) Go to the public rest room, remove your crap soaked boxers, & throw them in the trash can. Next, remove your socks, dampen them in the sink, and then clean up everything your boxers didn't catch. Once you're done, dispose of your socks. When you get home & your mother asks what happened to your socks, tell that nosey witch to mind her own business. Afterwards, go upstairs & cry yourself to sleep.

•5) First date
◦a) You pay for everything, open doors, and kiss her goodnight instead of trying to get into her pants.

•6) KTFOed.
◦c) You say, "Everything was going good, and then I just got KTFOed."

•7) Hummer
◦a) Go off-roading without worrying abuot scratching the paint or acquiring a few dents. Chuck - Like Derek, you've scored a 30, which means you're just close enough to being a man that you may read Forrest's book in secret.

E??? is that for draging her to the beach throwing water on her and roll her back into the ocean
or
let her walk out the front door and tell any one giveing you a odd look that your an enviromentalist and just trying to save a whale 1) "E" is leave home & never come back, although I agree, he should have added an "F" option on there similar to yours! :laugh:

TexasRN
06-29-2009, 10:23 PM
My jeans do not have oil stains on them. And no, I wouldn't try to get in her pants. Not on the first date.....:ninja: I guess I stay at 45 points. Should I feel proud of my manly status? :laugh:


~Amy

Black Mamba
06-29-2009, 11:03 PM
You have joined the elite Amy, stand proud with brother Ben and sister Lil D. :laugh:

Black Mamba
06-29-2009, 11:07 PM
Oh and here's my answers Ben:

3) My jeans don't have oil stains on them. But my favorite pair of jeans has brown and black paint. Does that count? :laugh:

5) And no I wouldn't want to get in the person's pants. Not until they pass a S.T.D test that is.

surveyorshawn
06-29-2009, 11:11 PM
Regardless of what it does to may man score, I seriously can't stand to look at your sig pic, Black Mamba!

VCURamFan
06-29-2009, 11:11 PM
Well, I'm proud to say that Chuck managed to score an extra 15 bonus points (+5 for wild animal pet, +5 for wife & +5 for oil stains), catapulting him to 45 points, meaning that the MHF now currently has FOUR manly members tied for first!!!

VCURamFan
06-29-2009, 11:13 PM
Regardless of what it does to may man score, I seriously can't stand to look at your sig pic, Black Mamba!I'm pretty sure than any possible negative points that you may incur from that statement are more than off-set by the positive points you've earned by being such a terrific father to little Ben. Have no fear, brother!:happydancing:

surveyorshawn
06-29-2009, 11:16 PM
Cool, so does that mean I am exempt, or are those just bonus points? Lol

Black Mamba
06-29-2009, 11:31 PM
Regardless of what it does to may man score, I seriously can't stand to look at your sig pic, Black Mamba!

It's just a Brown Recluse! :tongue0011:

I honestly don't like spiders either but I do like to admire them from a far. I was calling on God to help me this weekend because I had to go on a spider hunt around our house outside.

Spiders 0; Lil D-10 :ninja: Round 2 will commence soon.

I have to get back to studying, I have a test tomorrow on trusses and forces in beams. :wacko:

VCURamFan
06-29-2009, 11:35 PM
Cool, so does that mean I am exempt, or are those just bonus points? LolNo, it just means you won't be hurt by your previous statement.

I'll be honest, I'm just kinda waiting for Mac, Matt or Mark to man up (see what I did there?) and take this thing so they can take over 1st place! I'm, let's be honest, Amy, Chuck, Danelle & I are all pretty manly, it's true, but do we seriously hold a candle to any of those men?:frantics:

Tyburn
06-29-2009, 11:40 PM
It's just a Brown Recluse! :tongue0011:

I honestly don't like spiders either but I do like to admire them from a far. I was calling on God to help me this weekend because I had to go on a spider hunt around our house outside.

Spiders 0; Lil D-10 :ninja: Round 2 will commence soon.

I have to get back to studying, I have a test tomorrow on trusses and forces in beams. :wacko:
When I was in the United States I met a Jumping Spider. It looks far more scary then the one in your siggie, but its just harmless. I was sitting on the bench outside of Nathans place, and this....creature, dropped out of the tree above me, scuttled across the book I was reading and went UNDER the bench table.

I left...and went in and said to Nathan "do you have any dangerous spiders in this part of America" and he said, he didnt know, but if it looked big to leave it alone

:laugh:

It looked like

http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/6808/jumpingspider.jpg (http://img39.imageshack.us/i/jumpingspider.jpg/)

:laugh: it wasnt quite like that it was darker in colour...and not as timid looking. Harmless...but..:scared0015:

surveyorshawn
06-29-2009, 11:51 PM
Yeah, the jumping spiders don't really bother me as much as the ones with really long legs, etc. Here in the South we have really big spiders that come out in the summer & build webs between trees that we call banana spiders. They hiss at you when disturbed, and are big enough that I have killed several with my machete before! I have been bitten by a brown recluse on 2 occasions...once in my attic (on the knee), and once in the woods (arm). Lots of steroids & antibiotics for those! Sorry to hijack your thread, Ben, but spiders are a many topic, right? Lol

Tyburn
06-30-2009, 12:01 AM
Yeah, the jumping spiders don't really bother me as much as the ones with really long legs, etc. Here in the South we have really big spiders that come out in the summer & build webs between trees that we call banana spiders. They hiss at you when disturbed, and are big enough that I have killed several with my machete before! I have been bitten by a brown recluse on 2 occasions...once in my attic (on the knee), and once in the woods (arm). Lots of steroids & antibiotics for those! Sorry to hijack your thread, Ben, but spiders are a many topic, right? Lol
I know all about Banana Spiders because I work on the Produce Department of a local Supermarket, I'm also the one who deals with illegal immigrants that accidently appear in store.

The thing is, they HAVE to be captured alive so they can be identified, and because you dont know if they are carrying diseases that might cause food contamination if you squash them. I capture them in little tubs..then I but them in a Really cold Environment...the Cold climate paralyses things like that so much they almost go into a state of suspended animation...which is fine for the creatures that appear in Grapes...because Grapes are kept in cold storage.

Bananas are kept at Ambient Tempriture...which means when we get a sighting, the creature is wide awake, and usually petrified and starving to death.

Most exotic Catches include a very Baby Baboon Tarantula from Cameroon. She was a bugger to catch, took two of us quarter of an hour...but she was absolutely beautiful specimen...Really, Really beautiful...she was also undergoing her first molt which meant she was pigfugly compared to what she would usually look like (a dull grey...when she should have been black and red) Such a good find it got sent to the Spider Rescue Centre in Hull and sold onto a collector!! Incidently with that we tried to phone the man from del monte but he said no he wouldnt collect the spider...soooo I committed a terrible Crime...I shook the pot...and then told reception to phone the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty To Animals hahahahahaha....they came RIGHT AWAY and collected the Spider hahahahahahaha...Sort of...they actually collected the Spider the day after because they people coming to collect it that night had an accident on the way to the Store.


We had a live Scorpion...unfortunately...that actually went home with a customer...the Customer bought it back and asked for a refund :laugh:

And a HUGE Locust...unfortunately the Locust was dead..it died like a lot of them do, due to pressure differentials on the plane journey over to this country....but it was perfectly preserved :laugh:

Jason 16
06-30-2009, 02:34 AM
Yeah, the jumping spiders don't really bother me as much as the ones with really long legs, etc. Here in the South we have really big spiders that come out in the summer & build webs between trees that we call banana spiders. They hiss at you when disturbed, and are big enough that I have killed several with my machete before! I have been bitten by a brown recluse on 2 occasions...once in my attic (on the knee), and once in the woods (arm). Lots of steroids & antibiotics for those! Sorry to hijack your thread, Ben, but spiders are a many topic, right? Lol

we have some brown recluse up here in PA there rare though but still Ive seen what they can do .:scared0015: http://www.badspiderbites.com/images/brown-recluse-spider-bite-9days.jpg :scared0015: