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rockdawg21
05-15-2009, 05:28 PM
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules'
From the female side, now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note... These are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down..
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1.. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1.. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, football, or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
To give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

To give them a bigger laugh.

Crisco
05-15-2009, 05:37 PM
The Man Rules

Pass this to as many men as you can -
To give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

To teach the womenz how to act correctly.

fixed

J.B.
05-15-2009, 05:42 PM
The Man Rules
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.



:laugh:

rearnakedchoke
05-15-2009, 05:48 PM
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


To give them a bigger laugh.

huh? pumpkin is a fruit? i thought it was a pie ... oh well, my bad ...

rockdawg21
05-15-2009, 05:54 PM
This is my favorite:

"1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down..
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down."

Twinsmama
05-15-2009, 05:55 PM
these are so funny!! i try to use most of them in my everyday life. every #1sounds exactly like my husband. he even has my son asking why do i keep leaving the toilet seat down!!:laugh:

MattHughesRocks
05-16-2009, 02:53 AM
Men...rules...Lol

Hughes_GOAT
05-16-2009, 03:00 AM
Men...rules...Lol
don't make me hijack the girls thread!

MattHughesRocks
05-16-2009, 03:16 AM
What I meant by that remark was that if he's a real man he'll already know what to do. He doesnt need rules :)



don't make me hijack the girls thread!

TexasRN
05-16-2009, 03:20 AM
What I meant by that remark was that if he's a real man he'll already know what to do. He doesnt need rules :)


Mmmmm, real men......:w00t:


~Amy

Hughes_GOAT
05-16-2009, 03:26 AM
What I meant by that remark was that if he's a real man he'll already know what to do. He doesnt need rules :)
what? the rules are for the women.

MattHughesRocks
05-16-2009, 03:28 AM
I don't do rules. Sorry. I'll go look for that Forrest on Dr. Phil thread and see what happened there then.


what? the rules are for the women.

MattHughesRocks
05-16-2009, 03:30 AM
I can't find that thread so I came back.Now what's this crap about women and rules? Read the thread title :blink:

Hughes_GOAT
05-16-2009, 03:40 AM
I don't do rules. Sorry. I'll go look for that Forrest on Dr. Phil thread and see what happened there then.
one of those are ya? you just need better training. :laugh:

MattHughesRocks
05-16-2009, 03:42 AM
I'm sure one day some Midwestern bible thumping man is going to come along and rock my world.But until then....

one of those are ya? you just need better training. :laugh:

Hughes_GOAT
05-16-2009, 04:06 AM
I'm sure one day some Midwestern bible thumping man is going to come along and rock my world.But until then....
i was just thinking of NateR.

MattHughesRocks
05-16-2009, 04:27 AM
speaking of....


i was just thinking of NateR.

Hughes_GOAT
05-16-2009, 04:30 AM
speaking of....
ok? :confused:

MattHughesRocks
05-16-2009, 04:47 AM
Tomorrow is his birthday! I started his Birthday thread!:w00t:

ok? :confused:

Hughes_GOAT
05-16-2009, 04:50 AM
Tomorrow is his birthday! I started his Birthday thread!:w00t:
Nate doesn't celebrate B days.....he's a Jehovah's Witness!

MattHughesRocks
05-16-2009, 05:21 AM
We celebrate his birthday:)

No he's not! :laugh:


Nate doesn't celebrate B days.....he's a Jehovah's Witness!

mikthehick
05-16-2009, 07:21 AM
This thread proves that men can't count.

What's the point anyway?